Advice Or Prayers, I Guess.

[Nihil Obstat]

My experiences with English majors have been about 50-50.


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[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1347919544' post='2483442']
My experiences with English majors have been about 50-50.


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[b]My[/b] experiences with English majors have been about 50-50. Some of them can be a bit iffy.

I really shouldn't laugh at your mean and evil picture...but I actually almost fell on the floor.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1347919783' post='2483444']
[b]My[/b] experiences with English majors have been about 50-50. Some of them can be a bit iffy.

I really shouldn't laugh at your mean and evil picture...but I actually almost fell on the floor.
[/quote]

Well my best friend started off as an English major, and then switched to history. I guess I will not hold it against you.

I am relatively introverted, when it comes to interacting with people I do not know, and I found that picture to be rather true. If there was a stranger in my kitchen, there is a high probability that I would not eat until he left.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1347920017' post='2483449']
Well my best friend started off as an English major, and then switched to history. I guess I will not hold it against you.

I am relatively introverted, when it comes to interacting with people I do not know, and I found that picture to be rather true. If there was a stranger in my kitchen, there is a high probability that I would not eat until he left.
[/quote]

I appreciate that I like History very much too, it's one of my minors.

Haha, I'm probably the same as to the stranger (though thankfully, no one has ever tested that on me). And crossing a crowded room or asking for help in crowded places...they're horrors that override any sense for self-preservation.

[Spem in alium]

Hello, dear pham!

I just met with the potential new roommate. She seems lovely, we got on well...BUT...

...there is an issue I'm concerned about. I tend to go to bed and wake up abnormally early (particularly when I've got 5:30AM starts) while she goes to bed around midnight and wakes up later. She also likes to watch TV late, have people stay the night sometimes and have her boyfriend over. Because it's just a single room, I think there could be an issue with those things. I don't want to have to impose on her schedule, and I know that with my body clock being what it is, I will impose on her. Plus I'll be leaving my RAs and RD because this girl lives in another building, and I really like them. Probably very small matters, but important to me all the same. I don't want to cause anyone any extra trouble or hassle.

Things with the suite haven't changed much, but my emotional & spiritual wellbeing has. I think as I settle in, I'm less bothered by what's going on and seem just to take it as a part of the experience. I was accepted for a volunteering program this week, which means that every second Saturday I'll be off campus for much of the day. And now that I've found the Catholic group here, I hope to try and get involved with them as much as possible. At this point, I feel less pressured to move than I was before, and it doesn't seem as though it's a particularly constructive solution anymore. I have grown comfortable sticking to myself, and I'm trying to find new ways to be an introvert in an extroverted environment (it's tough, but I'm managing!)

I've just contacted my RD and asked if it would be possible for me to just see how things go. I've probably confused her significantly now (because last she heard, I really wanted to move). What I was neglecting to realise is that God is always here strengthening me. No matter what happens, He will see me through and help me face any challenges I need to face. I don't know why I didn't see that earlier.

If you have an opinion, please voice it. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but I always like to hear what other people think.

Wishing you all many, many blessings.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Spem in alium

[Spem in alium]

Hi everyone.

This week has been somewhat easier for me than most (and it's only Wednesday, woohoo!). There are still issues with the living situation, but I'm feeling more resigned to them. Last weekend I kind of hit a point where I acknowledged that through God I am strong enough to deal with anything. I read some Scripture and put a picture my mother drew of Jesus above my bed. Those things have really helped me. Maybe the challenge will never stop being a challenge, but I draw greater strength from realising the presence of the Lord.

Unfortunately I needed to stop the rowing because of my knee. It's feeling a bit better than it was, but I don't want to become seriously injured and really ruin my time here. I was downright horrendous at rowing, so I doubt they see my absence as a great loss! But it is unfortunate for me because I enjoyed the physicality and the people there.

I have found some individuals here who are just so unbelievably, incredibly kind. I got to know the head of Campus Ministry a few weeks ago. We were having lunch together on the weekend, and out of the blue she said, "Spem, do you have a winter jacket?" I said no, and she drove me to her house and lent me one of hers. The whole time, I was just thinking, "wow, wow, wow". I met with a Sister and a couple of students for prayers on Sunday, and by the end the students had offered to take me out for dinner (again, "wow"!) Or even just people offering to help me or to be a support for me - it's just so touching. Although these might be small things, they mean so much to me, especially because I'm here on my own. It's just so amazing, and I feel so unworthy and so overwhelmed by it. But I try to repay it when I can.

This weekend I am getting involved as a leader for RCIA. I think it would be wonderful to be able to share my faith with those who are making this spiritual journey, and I hope I can do a good job of it.

Autumn (or fall, if I really want to fit in!) is coming round. I love the colours and am hoping to get out one morning or afternoon with my camera so I can take some photos.

Blessings, dear pham!

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1348668465' post='2486894']
Hi everyone.

This week has been somewhat easier for me than most (and it's only Wednesday, woohoo!). There are still issues with the living situation, but I'm feeling more resigned to them. Last weekend I kind of hit a point where I acknowledged that through God I am strong enough to deal with anything. I read some Scripture and put a picture my mother drew of Jesus above my bed. Those things have really helped me. Maybe the challenge will never stop being a challenge, but I draw greater strength from realising the presence of the Lord.

Unfortunately I needed to stop the rowing because of my knee. It's feeling a bit better than it was, but I don't want to become seriously injured and really ruin my time here. I was downright horrendous at rowing, so I doubt they see my absence as a great loss! But it is unfortunate for me because I enjoyed the physicality and the people there.

I have found some individuals here who are just so unbelievably, incredibly kind. I got to know the head of Campus Ministry a few weeks ago. We were having lunch together on the weekend, and out of the blue she said, "Spem, do you have a winter jacket?" I said no, and she drove me to her house and lent me one of hers. The whole time, I was just thinking, "wow, wow, wow". I met with a Sister and a couple of students for prayers on Sunday, and by the end the students had offered to take me out for dinner (again, "wow"!) Or even just people offering to help me or to be a support for me - it's just so touching. Although these might be small things, they mean so much to me, especially because I'm here on my own. It's just so amazing, and I feel so unworthy and so overwhelmed by it. But I try to repay it when I can.

This weekend I am getting involved as a leader for RCIA. I think it would be wonderful to be able to share my faith with those who are making this spiritual journey, and I hope I can do a good job of it.

Autumn (or fall, if I really want to fit in!) is coming round. I love the colours and am hoping to get out one morning or afternoon with my camera so I can take some photos.

Blessings, dear pham!

[/quote]
Speaking of winter, do you have boots? If not, let me know what size you wear and we may have some you can borrow. Any other winter gear, as well (hats, gloves, scarves, etc.) We have a ton.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1348701423' post='2487079']
Speaking of winter, do you have boots? If not, let me know what size you wear and we may have some you can borrow. Any other winter gear, as well (hats, gloves, scarves, etc.) We have a ton.
[/quote]

Oh...thank you so, so much - that would be really great! I actually realised today that while bringing little clothing meant that I could travel light, it also means that I'm fairly unequipped. I brought one pair of boots, but they're more of a work/farm boot than a wintery one so I'm not sure how warm they'll keep me. I usually wear shoes between sizes 5 and 7.

***

Just got back from an unplanned fire drill, and two of my suitemates asked me if I want to go to the football with them on Saturday. There's a big game on here and I've not yet been to one. I don't know anything about football (even Australian football), nor does it really interest me - but I didn't hesitate in saying yes and expressing my thanks to them. Kind of stoked that they asked. I'd like to try and make things easier, and spending time with them seems like a good place to start. Perhaps things are changing! I still haven't managed to change things much with the girl who seems cold and distant - but I'm working on her If I can have a positive impact on their lives, then I know I've done okay.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1348708853' post='2487129']
Oh...thank you so, so much - that would be really great! I actually realised today that while bringing little clothing meant that I could travel light, it also means that I'm fairly unequipped. I brought one pair of boots, but they're more of a work/farm boot than a wintery one so I'm not sure how warm they'll keep me. I usually wear shoes between sizes 5 and 7.

***

Just got back from an unplanned fire drill, and two of my suitemates asked me if I want to go to the football with them on Saturday. There's a big game on here and I've not yet been to one. I don't know anything about football (even Australian football), nor does it really interest me - but I didn't hesitate in saying yes and expressing my thanks to them. Kind of stoked that they asked. I'd like to try and make things easier, and spending time with them seems like a good place to start. Perhaps things are changing! I still haven't managed to change things much with the girl who seems cold and distant - but I'm working on her If I can have a positive impact on their lives, then I know I've done okay.
[/quote]
I will check on the size of the boots and let you know. Also, layering is always good, especially when you're going in and out a lot (like walking from building to building for classes). Otherwise you will roast to death while you're inside.

I'm glad that you seem to be making progress with them. I don't know anything about football, either. At least you have an excuse. I've had it explained to me a bazillion times and I can never remember. lol

Edited September 27, 2012 by MissScripture

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1348709775' post='2487135']
I will check on the size of the boots and let you know. Also, layering is always good, especially when you're going in and out a lot (like walking from building to building for classes). Otherwise you will roast to death while you're inside.

I'm glad that you seem to be making progress with them. I don't know anything about football, either. At least you have an excuse. I've had it explained to me a bazillion times and I can never remember. lol
[/quote]

Thank you! Yeah, there always seems to be heating or fans on here. My roommate keeps her fan on 24/7. I prefer being cool over being warm, but here I feel like I'm in Antarctica one moment and the tropics the next. I've been practicing layering, and it's worked pretty well so far.

Haha, if people here didn't already know I was from another country, they will this weekend! I haven't the foggiest idea of what the rules even are or what the players are meant to do (apart from run with the ball, that is). I'm sure being in a stadium with 17,000 people will be an interesting experience...especially for an introvert who avoids crowds!

[Spem in alium]

And the plot thickens...

I just met with my RD. She told me that there's a new spot opened on my floor - a double room, but I'd be living alone. I told her that things aren't as bad as they were originally, but I'd still like to consider it. While having a roommate is nice, I don't really get much "time out" here. The hardest thing with living here is that even though I'm surrounded by five girls, I still feel incredibly isolated and alone. I don't mind being by myself, but it's tough to be by myself all the time in a place where I shouldn't be.The only real downside is that I was hoping that if I moved, I would be living with a person who would want to make friends. Getting involved in things is helping me make acquaintances other ways, so it's not as much trouble as it was before. But still an issue sometimes.

My RD is great, I'm lucky to have her helping me. She told me that I'm the most agreeable person she's met. Feel kind of chuffed!

Any suggestions or advice? I'm trying to work it out. It seems that just when things settle, another problem or choice pops up. I wish I knew what to do. But I don't yet, so I'll pray. Please keep me in your prayers, pham, and know that you are always in mine. Blessings.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Spem in alium

[TheresaThoma]

For what it is worth it might be nice to stick with the roommates.
I had an internship in Miami, FL this summer (I'm from CO). At first I didn't have a roommate which was ok but honestly after a while it got quite lonely. Housing eventually did give me a roommate (while I was away for a long weekend, talk about a major surprise! I came back a little bit stressed and very exhausted to find I now had roommate). After I got over my initial shock and being incredibly annoyed at housing for not telling me beforehand we got on really well. We pretty much kept to ourselves but it was still nice to have someone to talk to outside of work hours. Honestly she kind of kept me sane, I went through some really hard stuff and because she was there I knew just completely falling to pieces was NOT an option.
I can only speak for myself though, weigh the good and the bad about both living situations. Also make sure that you really will not be getting another roommate if you move into the double.

[Spem in alium]

Thank you for this. I see your point. I'll assess the situation a bit more and see where I'm being guided. I really didn't expect to have this kind of problem, so it's stressing me out a fair bit.

I think the main thing really motivating me to move is that (besides from being introverted and not having enough quiet time to just chill out) these girls are all friends. Really good friends. And while I'd like to get closer to them, every time I try I feel uncomfortable and like I'm imposing. I know they think of me as separate. Some of them have tried to include me, which I'm so grateful for, but normally they go do their own thing and leave me here alone. My roommate and I pretty much keep to ourselves. We speak sometimes, but she's usually at work or at the library so I have the room to myself usually. So if I moved, it wouldn't really be a problem as far as being alone goes. It's mainly the other girls who are the issue.

As for knowing for sure that I wouldn't get another roommate - the room is a double, so I may take in someone who has an issue later in the year. But it seems like if I move, I'll be on my own. My RD seemed a bit reluctant to put my by myself as she wants me to have a roommate. I don't really mind...to be honest I would prefer no roommates over five suitemates! It's just so overwhelming for me to be around so many people in such a small space.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1348921346' post='2487964'] It's just so overwhelming for me to be around so many people in such a small space.[/quote]

i think that's the key here...it might be different if you just had 2 roommates, but 5 is pushing it for you. something to keep in mind if you do get the chance to move.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1348929372' post='2487982']
i think that's the key here...it might be different if you just had 2 roommates, but 5 is pushing it for you. something to keep in mind if you do get the chance to move.
[/quote]

Yeah. My family is six people, so I'm used to this number...just not in such a small environment. Plus, with my family I get space to chill out and be an introvert. Here, not so much. I think the fact that it's still overwhelming after being here for a month means something.

My RD said I can have the week to decide. I have been praying, and today started a novena to St Therese of Lisieux. I saw it mentioned in another post, and since reading [i]The Story of a Soul [/i]I've been thinking about and inspired by her a lot more. I hope she can help me achieve some sort of clarity. God willing, I will have the courage to speak to my roommate sometime this weekend. I think she understands that I'm a quiet person, but she probably wouldn't know how uncomfortable I can feel.[i] [/i]

ETA: Another thing that's making me more inclined to live alone is my sleeping pattern. Not sure if I've mentioned it before, but it's kind of crazy. I get tired really early at night (sometimes as early as 8:30), so will go to sleep. Regardless of what time I go to bed - be it 9PM, 11:30PM, 2PM - I will wake up around 5:30AM. My roommate goes to bed a lot later than me and wakes up around 8AM, and she often comes home from work or study to find me asleep...which is something I feel kind of bad about.

Edited September 29, 2012 by Spem in alium