Spem in alium Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 [quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1347217782' post='2480665'] ^^^ well put. [/quote] Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 [quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1347209857' post='2480601'] Ah dear - I hope you don't feel like I am picking on you! I just sensed your frustration and questions and wanted sincerely to help you out. Once again, not trying to change who you are -- that does very little in the quest to find out one's vocation. If you are looking for a job that is perhaps a little more than simple yard work -- try looking at www.catholicjobs.com It is a great resource. Also, while college is expensive, it is a wonderful investment. My suggestion however is rather than attempt to get a student loan for funds - see if you can take out a line of credit with perhaps your parents as co-signers. I was able to be debt free from 3 years of college education only months after I graduated. Basically I worked the summer before - used my funds on residence and tuition until they ran out, (and you can usually get "financed" at college as well - for tuition, so you can pay over a series of months instead of upfront) after my summer work money ran out I used my line of credit. This meant I only had to pay interest on the amount I took out at that time instead of a large principal like you do with a student loan. Then, at the end of the semester, I went back to work, paid off the line of credit, and then started earning money for the following school term. At the end of my college career, I only had 1 semester's worth of debt to pay off. AND I had amesome credit. (Which you need to eventually buy your own house). Cheap make-up will certainly dry your skin out. If you are interested in such things, you want something that improves your skin while it's on and not something that dries it out. The kind of makeup you get from a pharmacy or a Walmart are [u]awful[/u] for someone with sensitive skin! You are 100% right! Yes, if you are working outside the last thing you want on your face is something that is just going to sweat off. It's not about looking pretty on your job anyway. BUT you still look pretty - so once again - it's not the face that is scaring anyone off. Just wanting to give you the tools to improve a situation you seem dissatisfied with. Hopefully (as stated before) this doesn't come off as my picking on you or trying to make you more "worldly". [/quote] No I didn't think that....I am just tired of people telling me to wear makeup. If they cant accept who I am....then they aren't worth it. I know you are trying to be helpful. And you are being helpful because you care about me. As for right now, I cannot go to college or any university. If I had two choices, I would go either to Franciscan U of Stubenville or Hillsdale College. But I can't afford it...my family is having a hard time financially so it would be even worse to go. And I don't want more burdens on my parents. Both of my parents are out of jobs...my Dad is on disability and my Mom had to quit her job because her boss was belittling her and other things too. It has been very hard for us. I don't know how we managed to have internet and Ewtn on dish. I know God is good but it is so hard to trust in Him. I help my parents in different ways like working part time and working at home. Pretty soon, my Dad and I are going to cut trees and sell firewood. I can't let him do all the work because I know my Mom won't help cut wood. Also we have to take care of my Grandma's house and yard which is over an hour away from us. Besides not everyone goes to college. I don't need to go right now. I don't really have a desire to go because I don't know what to study, etc. Yeah I am not really interested in wearing makeup. I just want to get clear skin. That is all I want. Get something that will get rid of my dry skin and stupid pimples. Like I said earlier I do have stuff for pimples but it makes my skin worse. I need something that doesn't dry out my skin. Besides I have so many compliments about my age.....people always think that I am a lot younger than I really am....it gets annoying though. And I do sweat awfully a lot too......so no makeup for me. Thank you. I don't know what scares guys away...... Don't worry about it. Also a lot of it has to do with a guy who I really liked (perhaps I was in loved with him) but he didn't realized it. And he's dating another girl. But I never met him in real life anyway. [quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1347211831' post='2480621'] Sorry to chime, but Lil'Mon, I just wanted to say that I can relate! I'll be 21 in just over 2 months, and what I'm experiencing is fairly similar to your description. I've never dated and never really gotten to know guys as friends until I started uni. Before that, I knew no-one. All my friends were dating, which made me feel (a bit foolishly) like I was being pressured and that not having a boyfriend was a sign of something awful. I don't really consider myself attractive, and there are many who would agree with me, so that also made it hard during my adolescence. But then I went to uni and started making more friends. And I realised that what matters more than a woman's physical appearance is her modesty, her confidence, her selflessness, her mission. If a woman is so fixated on how she looks, if she dresses to please others and does not spend time nurturing her inner beauty, she will be at a loss. I learnt that the best thing I could do was focus on God and on loving Him. If I am called to marriage, I want it to be with someone who loves God more than he loves me. I want him to expect the same kind of love from me also. So I figured it was best to start now. I think this kind of love reveals a beauty that is much more alluring than physical attraction. My physical appearance lets me down (in some ways, a lot), so I try to nurture my heart so that it shows a deeper level of radiance, and I hope that if marriage is where I end up, I will find a guy who finds me beautiful. Lil'Mon, you are beautiful. I can tell this not only from your avatar, but from the nature of your posts. You come across as kind and considerate, and in my book that's an instant mark of beauty. Show this kindness through your smile You need to be proactive in some ways (like encouraging yourself to meet people; I tried it and it was one of the best things I've done), but ultimately, pray and trust in the Lord. He has a plan for you, and it won't be thwarted [/quote] Thank you, I really needed to hear that! [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1347166083' post='2480495'] That doesn't have to stop you. There are young adult things, or you could maybe even volunteer to be a youth group leader, where you would become friends with other youth group leaders or girls that were near your age. That's not something weird on Phatmass. I'm not even sure if it's frowned upon since it happens so frequently, to be honest. [/quote] There are two adult groups around my age at this parish but I don't know if it is just for college students or not. So my Dad will call about it later on. Speaking about college aged people...Wow there's ALOT of them at this parish!!! Before Mass: On the way from the restroom, I saw two guys and one guy said "Good morning" to me. I smiled and said good morning to him. I am thinking...whoa....that guy is handsome....and the other guy is too. They both dipped their fingers in the holy water and so I did it too. Then they found their seat...which was ahead of mine (and my family too)...they both knelt down. The "Good Morning Guy" prayed the Rosary sliently. I could tell he was holy. I told God...."I am gonna marry that man....but if not....only YOU can have him". He was handsome: brown eyes (I think) and brown hair, Probably 5'8, Slender, and Athletic looking. Also he was wearing a blue dressed shirt with a tie and black dressed pant.s. Oh I wore cute khaki slacks too. I didn't introduced myself to him or his friend because I am too shy unless.... I am not with my parents....I don't get as shy though. I have no idea. I rarely talked to them about boys. I know I am just weird but I am sure they know that I have an interest in men. If they don't......they are blind....and strange. Sorry I am just rambling..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I ramble too much for anyone to say anything more in this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I hope you bump into those two again, Mon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Mon, for what it's worth, I agree with you. I don't wear makeup and haven't worn any for years, but in my late teens well-meaning friends were always advising me to use just a little and think about my clothes more. One even advised me to go on a diet just to lose a few pounds. (I was at a perfectly healthy weight.) They called it 'making an effort'. It only made me feel uncomfortable in my skin. You should not have to market yourself like an old car or a piece of furniture. You're a person, not property. Before knowing that marriage wasn't for me, I had one wonderful boyfriend who had been my friend for a couple of years previously, and who had seen me in my favourite raggedy old hoodies and had never witnessed me wearing makeup in his life. This Disney princess focus on making yourself beautiful so that the prince can sweep along really doesn't sit well with me. To begin with, I wouldn't want a guy who is tilted into interest in me by the presence of mascara. If his interest is captured by such little things, it would only take little things to make him lose it. As for your home situation, that sounds very tough. I will pray for you and your family, and for God to send the right people into your life at the right time. Bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 [quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1347279383' post='2480951'] I hope you bump into those two again, Mon... [/quote] I am sure I will....I will probably bumped into more guys too..... [quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1347279895' post='2480954'] Mon, for what it's worth, I agree with you. I don't wear makeup and haven't worn any for years, but in my late teens well-meaning friends were always advising me to use just a little and think about my clothes more. One even advised me to go on a diet just to lose a few pounds. (I was at a perfectly healthy weight.) They called it 'making an effort'. It only made me feel uncomfortable in my skin. You should not have to market yourself like an old car or a piece of furniture. You're a person, not property. Before knowing that marriage wasn't for me, I had one wonderful boyfriend who had been my friend for a couple of years previously, and who had seen me in my favourite raggedy old hoodies and had never witnessed me wearing makeup in his life. This Disney princess focus on making yourself beautiful so that the prince can sweep along really doesn't sit well with me. To begin with, I wouldn't want a guy who is tilted into interest in me by the presence of mascara. If his interest is captured by such little things, it would only take little things to make him lose it. As for your home situation, that sounds very tough. I will pray for you and your family, and for God to send the right people into your life at the right time. Bless you. [/quote] You gave one of the best responses here. That is what I was trying to say! Thank you very much! Yeah so many people always telling me to wear makeup, etc. It's very annoying. It actually lowers my self-confidence and self-esteem. I am too beautiful to wear makeup. Makeup is not for me. I am not against it but it is just not for me. My smile and my inner beauty will capture any guy's heart. My love for Jesus will capture any guy's heart. If a guy doesn't like me because I don't wear makeup and I wear a camo hat.....he will lose me for sure. Besides if I am called to marriage...my hubby wouldn't see me looking wonderful all the time: bad hair days, bad breath, dirt on my face, body odor, etc...It won't be a fairy tale but a reality. But he will love me for me as a person..not as a fairy tale princess. Yeah he will hear me burp all the time....so what? Wait..I do burp awfully a lot though....but I do that around people who I love. My Dad likes it when my Mom burps...they have been together for like 22 years. And they love her each other more than they did back then. Even though they can get mad at each other but that is just part of their way of showing how much they love each other. Besides I don't want to look fake....I want to look like me. Thank you! My family and I will appreciate all the prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorShower Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 [quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347314199' post='2481100'] My love for Jesus will capture any guy's heart. [/quote] This right here. Sis, your love and zeal for Jesus shines through! Any man would be lucky to have you. But as the daughter of God, you deserve a holy man. Preferably with a beard. I will be praying for you and your family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) To be honest, I don't see the big appeal in make-up. I don't like it very much at all. My sister claims it's so important, but I can never even tell the difference when she has it on. I can never tell a woman has make-up on unless she put twelve pounds of it on, which simply means she simply doesn't know how to put it on in the first place. Don't worry about make-up if you can't find one that doesn't dry out your skin. I don't think acne is that big of a deal and I never notice it either unless it is a very rare and extreme case, and chances are you have as much acne as everyone else does, which really isn't that much. My sister has been urging me for a year to buy acne products but I simply won't do it. I don't care if I have acne because A) I'm not looking into dating anyway B) my face is pretty clear considering I don't use acne products and C) even if I was looking into dating and had bad acne if a woman was deterred because I had acne than she isn't worth my time. I think you're on the right track, you simply have to get out more is all, and it sounds like you are making an effort to do so. Edited September 10, 2012 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 [quote name='MeteorShower' timestamp='1347315985' post='2481109'] Sis, your love and zeal for Jesus shines through! Any man would be lucky to have you. But as the daughter of God, you deserve a holy man. [b]Preferably with a beard.[/b] [/quote] Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 [quote name='MeteorShower' timestamp='1347315985' post='2481109'] This right here. Sis, your love and zeal for Jesus shines through! Any man would be lucky to have you. But as the daughter of God, you deserve a holy man. [b]Preferably with a beard.[/b] I will be praying for you and your family! [/quote] Thank ya sis! Yeah that one guy with the beard....I can tell he's a holy man! I don't know what his real name is though. Well there's so many other guys who go there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorShower Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 [quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1347320869' post='2481125'] Lol. [/quote] [quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347324372' post='2481153'] Thank ya sis! Yeah that one guy with the beard....I can tell he's a holy man! I don't know what his real name is though. Well there's so many other guys who go there! [/quote] Beards are cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I know My Dad had an epic beard before. He always has facial hair. I like guys with facial hair. I don't know why though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 My mother absolutely hates facial hair, especially beards. I think her greatest fear is that I will become a Franciscan Friar and get an epic Saint Maximilian Kolbe beard, which I so intend to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 She's picky...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 [quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1347328040' post='2481172'] She's picky...... [/quote] My dad looks really good with a beard, too, but she won't let him grow it. As soon as he has stubble it's simply too much. I'm amazed she lets him have a mustache. He has always had his mustache. Not once in my life has he ever shaved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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