Slappo Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 It sounds like the advice is "marry the first or second person you date". So my advise is "Make sure one of the first two is a keeper!" I also married the second person I dated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I did not marry the first or second person I dated and it's a good thing I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 What I have learned: I am a dating failure LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Um...what kind of dating advice are you looking for? How to find a date? How to keep a date? How to marry a date? Keep marriage as the "end" of dating, but don't expect to marry everyone you date. Don't have unrealistic expectations of your date, but hold tight to things that are dealbreakers or non-negotiables. Go to mass with the person you're dating. Praying together is amesome, but start by just going to mass. Communicate about everything, especially when you're feeling angry or frustrated or confused or sad. Communicate about where physical boundaries are - some couples can "handle" a cuddle on the couch while watching a movie, but others can't, so be honest with yourself, your date, and get a spiritual director or at least a good regular confessor to help you figure out where that line is for you. If you ever realize that you definitely couldn't marry the person you're dating, end it kindly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiiMichael Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 My advice is to be wary of the stories everyone has given. While apparently they're typical on Phatmass, they're atypical everywhere else. That's not to say that you should just flat-out reject the idea of proposing on the second date, or marrying the first or second person that you date. Some people find their spouse in high school, others don't find their spouse until well into their adult life. It's about the right person, not about the ideal time-frame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I sucked at dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1346514698' post='2477158'] I sucked at dating. [/quote] it's amazing that you got married then. Edited September 1, 2012 by Lil Red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1346515075' post='2477160'] good thing too, since you're married. [/quote] Past tense, editor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1346515410' post='2477162'] Past tense, editor. [/quote] i blame the coffee. and fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Fair enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 no dating courtship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiiMichael Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 [quote name='Groo the Wanderer' timestamp='1346516132' post='2477167'] no dating courtship [/quote] This type of semantic argument always bothered me. The courtship/dating divide is what a couple makes it. And quite frankly, what's the difference? Honestly, what is it? Because it seems to me that people like to say "DATING BAD! COURT LADY! OOGA BOOGA!" without differentiating the difference between the two. A person's mindset in the wide world of marriage discernment shouldn't be "am I courting her or dating her?" it should be, "am I being virtuous? are we being virtuous together?" Also, it seems to me like "courting" is done to women, which seems awfully sexist. Two people should be dating together. It's a trial run for marriage. It's discerning whether the sacrament of matrimony is what the two people involved are called to. It should be a partnership, not some antiquated, "Look at my muscles both physically and monetarily" shtick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Best line starts at 00:35: [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xSxy_Wc1-o"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xSxy_Wc1-o[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1346515452' post='2477163'] and fixed. [/quote] No one can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Groo the Wanderer' timestamp='1346516132' post='2477167'] no dating courtship [/quote] Lame. Same diff to me, except that courtship means you stay in other people's super strict line even when you can handle more, and you have a chaperone all the time, and hardly touch after months of dating, and everything is super formal and probably officially parentally approved almost as soon as it starts even though I am a grown adult, hence I find dating more realistic and comfortable and does not make me want to go against God in some way when I say it, but fine. Courtship it is. I hate using the word courtship. The term courtship makes me very uncomfortable. I don't believe it has to be as said above, but I can't help but think like that when the term is used, hence "courtship" becomes unrealistic. Edited September 1, 2012 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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