Make Cma Laugh!

[brianthephysicist]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BG45]

Y'all made me laugh today :) That's an accomplishment!  I liked Melon-collie. 

 

And yeah ploomf ... I have a height issue.  Definitely :hehe:

 

And well BG45 ... the "there's an internet cable loose" one.  Yup.  That's me today (figuratively). :unsure:

 

Glad to have sorta made you laugh, but sorry that one (figuratively) struck too close to home.

 

[cmaD2006]

Oh geeez Les Wizardables.  rotfl (I ran out of props!)

 

Yupper that was moi yesterday.  I'm better now ... coming to terms with the "truth".  Now to figure out what I can do about it.

[BG45]

Oh geeez Les Wizardables.  rotfl (I ran out of props!)

 

Yupper that was moi yesterday.  I'm better now ... coming to terms with the "truth".  Now to figure out what I can do about it.

 

Glad to give another laugh hope whatever "truth" needs faced is something you'll figure out real quick! :console:

 

For another funny, we talked about hiring processes in class on Wednesday and some of the...interesting...questions on applications in the Crim. field or during the lie detector.  Some of my favorites:

 

1.  Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Nazi or Communist parties?

 

2.  Have you ever been involved with, or are currently involved with, a group which seeks to overthrow the lawfully elected government of the United States of America?

 

3.  [Insert previous question, replace "you" with "one of your family members or friends"]?

 

4.  Have you ever blackmailed anyone?

 

Last one is a bit racy, so...

[spoiler]

5.  Are you a sexual deviant?

 

(The guy who said he'd been asked that on the polygraph didn't know what they meant and asked after, since you can't during it.  Apparently they meant "Are you a pedophile or have you engaged in acts with animals" x.x)

[/spoiler]

Edited April 26, 2013 by BG45

[Papist]

[cmaD2006]

hope whatever "truth" needs faced is something you'll figure out real quick! :console:

 

 

You and me both ... I'm not having a fun time at it; and I'm torn inside really.  My one hope -- that the 30 day retreat takes care of it.  Or something sooner.  I really do pray for sooner because there are 65 (almost 64) days before the retreat, and that's a heck of a long time to wait (and to carry a fleshy broken heart).

Edited April 27, 2013 by cmariadiaz

[brianthephysicist]

:console:

 

 

This is me in 10 years:

[BG45]

You and me both ... I'm not having a fun time at it; and I'm torn inside really.  My one hope -- that the 30 day retreat takes care of it.  Or something sooner.  I really do pray for sooner because there are 65 (almost 64) days before the retreat, and that's a heck of a long time to wait (and to carry a fleshy broken heart).

 

*wince* I'm sorry...hopefully God will see to it to mend your heart and the Retreat will be all that you hope!

 

--

 

 

[TheresaThoma]

Glad to give another laugh hope whatever "truth" needs faced is something you'll figure out real quick! :console:

 

For another funny, we talked about hiring processes in class on Wednesday and some of the...interesting...questions on applications in the Crim. field or during the lie detector.  Some of my favorites:

 

1.  Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Nazi or Communist parties?

 

2.  Have you ever been involved with, or are currently involved with, a group which seeks to overthrow the lawfully elected government of the United States of America?

 

3.  [Insert previous question, replace "you" with "one of your family members or friends"]?

 

4.  Have you ever blackmailed anyone?

 

I once had to fill out a security clearance form and number 2 was on there and below it was just yes or no. All I could think was who in their right mind would check yes?

Some of the questions on there were pretty interesting....

[BG45]

I once had to fill out a security clearance form and number 2 was on there and below it was just yes or no. All I could think was who in their right mind would check yes?

Some of the questions on there were pretty interesting....

"Pretty interesting..."  I can believe that. :)

 

I don't think anyone in their right mind would mark "yes", but you never know.  In undergrad we had a girl who was hardcore "Queer Marxist Feminist" in her words, who was also an active member of the Communist party, we felt that she'd never get a job in government having to mark "yes" to the Communist question.

[brianthephysicist]

 

[brianthephysicist]

[BG45]

 

Just got killed by cute.

[brianthephysicist]

Just got killed by cute.

 

IKR?

 

When I was in Australia, my parents took us to an amazing zoo.  We got to walk among the kangaroos and there was a photobooth set up where you could hold a koala and get your picture taken.  I was too small at the time to hold one on my own, so we have a pic of my mom holding it with me giving it a hug.  My brother, on the other hand, was just big enough to try to hold it on his own.  The handler warned K that if the koala didn't feel safe in his arms then it would use its claws to make sure it didn't fall.  He got some nice scratch marks, but it didn't break skin so he was proud of himself lol.

[BG45]

IKR?

 

When I was in Australia, my parents took us to an amazing zoo.  We got to walk among the kangaroos and there was a photobooth set up where you could hold a koala and get your picture taken.  I was too small at the time to hold one on my own, so we have a pic of my mom holding it with me giving it a hug.  My brother, on the other hand, was just big enough to try to hold it on his own.  The handler warned K that if the koala didn't feel safe in his arms then it would use its claws to make sure it didn't fall.  He got some nice scratch marks, but it didn't break skin so he was proud of himself lol.

 

That is awesome!  Group hug with the koala :)  (Well except your bro getting to hold it alone and being a bit scratched up!)  It sounds like a really cute family moment!

 

I was gonna put this in my thread, but it's funny enough for cma's I think.  We had a new volunteer at prison Mass today and everyone tends to be ultra nervous their first time.  It's not that surprising, the media and word of mouth both portray maximum security facilities in a light that while not totally inaccurate, is not 100% accurate, especially when we're going nowhere near restricted housing, long story short, most people are reasonably scared walking in on their first time.  (The waiver they have you sign doesn't help probably...) 
 

Anyhow, our new volunteer C. is a college student in my department it turns out, though he's graduating and just wanted to make it out at least once before he graduates.  We were through the metal detector in the lobby and in the sally port, which is a locked long corridor through the center of the yard and all the layers of razor wire fencing and such, on our way to the room that can lead you to the visiting room or into the prison yard.  C. was talking with one of the veteran volunteers when he accidentally walked through an unmanned metal detector and just jumped straight up at the noise.  As we all chuckled (or laughed heartily in some cases), I tried to calm him down, "It's just a metal detector they use on the inmates C.  There's no riot or anything.  By the way, don't run in the yard, or we will hear bad sirens."

 

"What are bad sirens?"

 

"The 'oh look those guys in the guard towers are breaking out the guns because the motion sensors say someone's making a break for it' type.  It makes the guards cranky if we accidentally set them off, R. did it once."

 

"...oh.  Well he's still here!  So it must've turned out alright!"

 

At that point R. decided to pull C.'s leg, "Well yeah, once I got my prosthetic leg.  Can't even tell now, can ya?"

 

I swear we have too much gallows humor in that group.