Active/contemplative Or Cloistered How Do You Know Which Is For You?

[Mary's Child]

This may be something that has been discussed before but its something I have been wondering about. How do you know if you are being called to an active community or one that is cloistered/monastic? Can this change as you research and learn more about yourself and draw closer to Jesus. I have been discerning for a little over 2 years for the first year and a half I thought I was called to an active/ contemplative community and I was sure I knew where it was. But a few months ago it became apparent that this community was not where I was called. Because of this I had to do some serious thought and prayer about what my true vocation is, and now I feel more drawn to the cloistered life. So how do you know for certain which type of community you are called to? Is it just an undeniable certainty like when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are called to the religious life?

[LittleWaySoul]

I'm actually wondering this same thing. Thanks for asking this, Mary's Child!

[Mary's Child]

Your welcome this question has been on my mind a lot recently. I asked some lay people Im really close to who are very spiritually wise. They didn't know and just said you have to pray about it and visit until you find the answer. I have contacted a community that I really like except that they are not cloistered and Im wondering if this is something I should be concerned about.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

There are always going to be doubts. But I think it comes down to being in tune with God's voice in your life.

I'm still discerning, so I can't really offer a lot of advice on this, but here you go.

[EmilyAnn]

When I first started discerning, I looked at active communities. But something just didn't feel right. When I think about active communities now, it still just doesn't feel right. It's very subjective and that's probably not very helpful, but I think God lets you know when you're looking in the right direction. When I think about monastic life, it feels right - it feels like the will of God. Sometimes you just have to trust your instincts and follow them, and God will tell you where is right. When I visited the community I hope to enter, I was doubting at first. But experiencing the life, experiencing the community, I just knew that was the life God is calling me to.

Edit: And welcome to Phatmass!

Edited August 18, 2012 by EmilyAnn

[Gabriela]

When I think about joining active life, I invariably think, "But if I wanted to do that, I'd just get a job..." So I think I am most definitively not called to active life.

But that's just me. Some of the sisters I interviewed started out in active orders, but eventually felt they needed more time for prayer. Then they switched to contemplative communities (where they remain to this day). The same thing happens between houses within charisms and orders. I think visiting and seeing how you feel is the only sure way to know. And even then, it takes some time actually living in the house to be certain you're a good fit. There's no shame in switching. Just give 'em both a try.

:-)

[Gemma]

The cloister is God and the soul. The building is irrelevant. Ask the Holy Ghost for the purification of intentions.

We offer a confidential, safe harbor for cloister discerners:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/covi/

Blessings,
Gemma
http://cloisters.tripod.com/

[LittleWaySoul]

I think I'm definitely leaning toward active right now. We'll see, though

[emmaberry]

Welcome to PM Mary's Child! I hope you'll hang around VS-it is a gold mine for discernment information.

I don't have any blanket/objective advice, I can only tell you my situation in the hopes that you will identify or glean something useful from it. When I felt the call to religious life, I immediately knew it would be the cloister. It was not a call to give my life indirectly to God by giving it to others in the active life. Rather, it was a call to come apart and give God my entire world.. Gemma is absolutely right when she says that the cloister is God and the soul. I also identify with curiousing when I say that, if I felt called to give my life in an active way, I would probably get married and raise a Catholic family.

Of course, my post is really emphasizing the beauty of the cloister, because that is what I know. I am sure someone discerning the active life could post something that really focuses on the beauty of the active life. The contemplative and active life complement each other so completely, and I don't mean to arrange them in a hierarchy.

One interesting thing to note is that in my experience, I have seen sisters leave the active life to a) discern marriage and b) enter the cloister. However, I have never heard of anyone entering the cloister and then discerning out to enter active life. People usually discern out of the cloister and then feel called to marriage. Of course, I am sure there are sisters who left the cloister to enter the active life, but I think this is more rare than the vice versa situation. I think this pattern says something about the absoluteness (?) of the cloister. When the soul is called to the cloister, it is hard for for it to be content with the day to day life that active people must live. In a sense, this everyday world the active must deal with is their burden, whereas the complete [i]lack[/i] of the world is both the contemplative's greatest joy and greatest burden as well.

This may sound counterintuitive, Mary's Child, but as you discern and gain a greater intimacy with God, don't forget to know yourself better as well. It is pretty simple: Are you a contemplative or are you an active soul? Unless you really know yourself though, answering that question can be tough. Are you an introvert or an extravert? There are both types in the active life and the cloister, but if you are super extraverted, could you handle silence as a major part of your day in the cloister? If you are very introverted, could you handle ministering to people in the Missionaries of Charity or Sisters of Life?

God bless!

Edited August 18, 2012 by emmaberry

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I think if I was called to the active life, it would be very hard for me. This is really subjective, but I'm just sharing it personally. At the beginning of my discernment, I used to active life as an excuse not to follow the rout of discerning the cloistered life. I refused it by jumping at the active life. So, somehow for me I feel like whenever I think about it, I will think I'm making excuses. That is definitely not the same for everyone, but it's a mistake I've made down the road. So, whatever you do, don't cut yourself off.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345311327' post='2469738']
This may be something that has been discussed before but its something I have been wondering about. How do you know if you are being called to an active community or one that is cloistered/monastic? Can this change as you research and learn more about yourself and draw closer to Jesus. I have been discerning for a little over 2 years for the first year and a half I thought I was called to an active/ contemplative community and I was sure I knew where it was. But a few months ago it became apparent that this community was not where I was called. Because of this I had to do some serious thought and prayer about what my true vocation is, and now I feel more drawn to the cloistered life. So how do you know for certain which type of community you are called to? Is it just an undeniable certainty like when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are called to the religious life?
[/quote]

For me, I had to go by my personality. I'm introverted but I like to be around people. I get a little crazy if I go for long periods of time without talking. But I like silence, too, and contemplative prayer. I was attracted to cloistered life and still am but I know, from talking with Prioresses, that I would not be suited to strict contemplative life because of my personality. I'd probably become closed off and depressed since I have a history of depression. I am VERY attracted to active/contemplative life because I'm seeking that balance, so I know it will be good to combine work and prayer. I like being able to interact with my Sisters because we have become close. I think I'd miss the interaction.

Edited August 18, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae

[filius_angelorum]

I am still actively discerning so all I can give you is some thoughts that I have been having about this process.

When one thinks of a community as "contemplative" I think it is often a mistaken notion that one is going to be spending most of one's day alternating between mental and liturgical prayer. At least in the Benedictine tradition, and I gather in most other traditions as well, this is simply not true. What makes a contemplative community contemplative is not the amount of time they spend in one type of prayer or the other, but how enclosed or separated they are from the rest of the world. Thus, again only in my experience, monks from the contemplative Benedictine tradition often spend MORE time in manual work than those who are involved in some apostolate, precisely because they have to work harder to sustain life within the enclosure with minimal dependence on the outside world.

For me, however, that would simply not work. While I love being alone with God, I truly love sharing that passion with others on a daily basis. I love to fill my time of meditation with prayers for those whom I am serving, especially my benefactors, students, and families. For me, meditation/mental prayer becomes a springboard for the active life and, in fact, I gather that many "active" orders in fact spend more time reserved in mental prayer precisely because they need that time to recollect in preparation for their apostolic works in the community.

I truly love the traditional Solemn Liturgies of the Church. In fact, it was the liturgy which originally pointed me in the direction of the true Church and opened me up to the truth about God and his relationship to the world. That being said, I have increasingly recognized that my love for the liturgy is something which is less like a Benedictine's love for the liturgy or a Canon Regular's love for the liturgy, and more like a parish priest or layman's love for the Liturgy. For me, the liturgy is something I like to bring into my personal life, but not something which I desire to immerse my whole personality into. Think about it as the difference between a...well, we don't have a good word for it in English..."Domina" (usually translated Mistress, but that implies something beyond the scope of my thoughts), a female master of her handmaidens and a Wife: domina et sponsa. For me the liturgy is a sponsa, something that greets me when I return home from apostolic work, that I take with me and whisper sweet nothings to when I am happy, that reminds me gently of my responsibilities and joys. For the contemplative, as I understand it, the liturgy is regina et domina, the rule and the object of the religious life. It is Her that regulates the whole of their existence, and they love her to, but it is with a love that springs from an inner drive, almost a necessity for survival. For me, I love the liturgy from the whim of my heart.

So, that is why I tend to think of myself as more active than contemplative. I also have a definite vocation for a definite service to the world, but that would all be secondary to those considerations above. Hope my thoughts have some relevance to yours. I could sure use some fraternal correction if I have said anything incorrect!

[EmilyAnn]

I just remembered that a while back I wrote a blog post "Why Contemplative?" that explains my thoughts a bit more:

When I first felt called to religious life, I wanted to be an active sister. This wasn't a matter of feeling called to that apostolic ministry, it was a matter of that was what I wanted to do. Like many other people, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, I didn't really understand the contemplative vocation. It is a very hidden life so on some level it is easy to see how such misunderstandings happen. I found it difficult to see prayer as "work" and I confess my prayer life at the time was not nearly what it should have been. Contemplative life seemed empty and boring to me. In hindsight, I find my ignorance quite amusing and fairly ironic considering I am now discerning that life.

I have discovered since than that a vocation isn't about what you think you'd enjoy best or where you think you'd fit best. I know someone who has a dozen piece list of exactly what she does and doesn't want in an order. If you think like that then God has a tendency to throw a curveball at you. And He sure sent one right at me and I realised that the contemplative life was where He wanted me to be. In the end we can have all the expectations and ideas in the world but God calls us where He knows is best, even if at first we might not agree with Him!

My understanding of religious life and various roles apostolic and contemplative religious play has grown immensely since then. I went to a private secular high school and they had a big emphasis on teaching us to go out and help and serve others. I suppose that was where my decision to choose apostolic religious life came from, that sense of duty that they instilled in me. Apostolic religious life is a beautiful ministry, don't take any of this as me dissing that because I have so much respect for apostolic religious life and those who dedicate their lives to it. This is purely my personal inclinations and my take on my vocation.

I felt that as an apostolic religious I could never help as many people as I wanted to. I would do wonderful things but for me it would never be enough. I felt that my scope would always be too limited. For me the contemplative vocation widens that scope and I can serve the whole world, a silent voice holding everyone in my heart through my prayers. My life is given to Christ so that I am set aside for Him only but through that I also am in the service of all of His people. In this way I become a mother of souls and all His people are my children. I am given the duty to watch over them with my prayers. It's a great gift and a great responsibility and one I feel entirely unworthy of.

We are called contemplatives because that is truly our vocation: to contemplate the mysteries of Christ! Every religious has a ministry and mine will be prayer. Before I could truly accept my contemplative vocation I first had to mature in my prayer. I don't think it was mere coincidence that it was when I had found that deep love for intimate prayer with the Lord that I felt my religious calling resurfacing. I had to learn that prayer doesn't come from the words you say, it comes from your very soul. I began feeling this longing to spend more and more time in prayer and wishing I could be in prayer just all the time.

One of the two parishes I attend is very close to my university campus (the other being close to my home) and I found myself drawn there more and more. I began going to Daily Mass when I could and often there were long gaps of an hour or so between my lectures starting of finishing and the Mass times. There was a time where I wouldn't have bothered or I'd have gone shopping. But I found myself wanting to spend more and more time there in the church. I would spend hours there. I loved the silence, I loved the peace, I loved that this was a place set aside for God and for His glory. I wished I could be there all the time. I had faith before that and I loved Jesus but this was when I first truly felt that deep love for Christ that filled me so completely. I realised then and there in that church that I was willing to do anything for Christ. I didn't care what it was, if it was His will then I was prepared to do that. I told Him so, and lo and behold He revealed to me the gift He had given me at my baptism: my vocation.

[emmaberry]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1345335084' post='2469879']
[b]I felt that as an apostolic religious I could never help as many people as I wanted to. I would do wonderful things but for me it would never be enough. I felt that my scope would always be too limited. For me the contemplative vocation widens that scope and I can serve the whole world, a silent voice holding everyone in my heart through my prayers.[/b] My life is given to Christ so that I am set aside for Him only but through that I also am in the service of all of His people. In this way I become a mother of souls and all His people are my children. I am given the duty to watch over them with my prayers. It's a great gift and a great responsibility and one I feel entirely unworthy of.
[/quote]
What a great way to describe the contemplative life!

[quote name='filius_angelorum' timestamp='1345334633' post='2469877']
For me, the liturgy is something I like to bring into my personal life, but not something which I desire to immerse my whole personality into. Think about it as the difference between a...well, we don't have a good word for it in English..."Domina" (usually translated Mistress, but that implies something beyond the scope of my thoughts), a female master of her handmaidens and a Wife: domina et sponsa. For me the liturgy is a sponsa, something that greets me when I return home from apostolic work, that I take with me and whisper sweet nothings to when I am happy, that reminds me gently of my responsibilities and joys. For the contemplative, as I understand it, the liturgy is regina et domina, the rule and the object of the religious life. It is Her that regulates the whole of their existence, and they love her to, but it is with a love that springs from an inner drive, almost a necessity for survival. For me, I love the liturgy from the whim of my heart.
[/quote]

This is great and really reminds me of Mother Mary Francis' fervor for the liturgical seasons in A Right to Be Merry. I did not understand it at first, but through understanding the contemplative life better I 'get' exactly what you say in the quote. As Mother says, in the cloister, the liturgy dictates what you eat, how you eat it, and everything about the day.

Edited August 19, 2012 by emmaberry

[Gabriela]

[quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1345326344' post='2469814']
One interesting thing to note is that in my experience, I have seen sisters leave the active life to a) discern marriage and b) enter the cloister. However, I have never heard of anyone entering the cloister and then discerning out to enter active life. People usually discern out of the cloister and then feel called to marriage. Of course, I am sure there are sisters who left the cloister to enter the active life, but I think this is more rare than the vice versa situation.
[/quote]

Huh. I think you're right. This is definitely the case among the 33 sisters I interviewed, but I hadn't noticed it!

Most of the active sisters I talked to, when I asked them if they had considered contemplative life, responded with something like, "Oh gosh, no way! Not for me!" But a lot of the cloistered sisters had thought about active life. So possibly, if one is a good fit for active life, then the cloister is NOT an option. But cloister-fits may think both are an option at first.

I'm just hypothesizing here. I'm sure there are instances of both. But it seems emmaberry is onto something here.