I Feel Abandoned By The Church.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

I've been to 4 parishes since i was illuminated to the churches existance after many years snared by the meat hook of sin, a dead carcus that walks. So now i've said that again back to the parishes. Only one of those four churches has been accomadating towards me, the other 3 no one has even asked me for my number or if i need any help with anything though a hello and chat has been offered, and i stay after holy mass to try and buddy buddy. Each parish i have been at for 2 or more years and the 4th present one i have been at for 7 months. What are all your experiences ? Oh i have handed out my number before to new comers at 2 of the first 3 parishes, the 1st parish i knew nothing and was fresh out the blocks for this race where the ultimate prize is heaven. Again , what are your own expeiences with this ? Where is the spirit of courage. ? Like i understand sheep are meek but aren't we meant to have the heart of a lion too. Like jesus.

Edited August 17, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[Papist]

Please define "accommodating".

[dUSt]

Tab'le, I would like to hear your life story, told by someone else.

[CatherineM]

How many people have you offered your number too?

[Lil Red]

have you talked with someone in the parish office? seen if there are any groups you could get involved with?

[carmenchristi]

I don't particularly like being "buddy-buddy" with people that I meet after mass (also because most of them are are about 50 years older than I). It actually annoys me when people are too "chummy". I go to Mass to pray and be with the Lord (so maybe I get an "F" on the fellowship thing... the protestants are much better at it, so I'll just let them keep it!) I'm not saying that you are annoying, but some people just like to be quiet after Mass. I think it's a great suggestion that Lil Red made to try and join some groups or something. That way it's more of a "people meeting" situation.

Also, where are you from? Your SN makes me think that you are not American. Do you live in America? What you are experiencing MIGHT actually be a cultural difference, perceived by you as coldness on the part of others. I've had many different intercultural experiences and have seen this A LOT!

[HopefulBride]

What Red said. From my experience, relationship with other parishioners grow not just in exchanging numbers and saying hellos after mass but from serving together. Some of my closest friends I've only known for the past 3 years or so and our friendships have grown only because of how we serve together.

I would suggest you try to get involved in some ministry, not just for the sake of getting to know pholks but also because you are truly interested in whatever that ministry is.

Keeping you in prayer,
HB

[franciscanheart]

Yep, I second what Red said. Get involved in a parish ministry, and go to ALL the pot lucks.

[KnightofChrist]

[quote name='Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye' timestamp='1345213150' post='2469152']
I've been to 4 parishes since i was illuminated to the churches existance after many years snared by the meat hook of sin, a dead carcus that walks. So now i've said that again back to the parishes. Only one of those four churches has been accomadating towards me, the other 3 no one has even asked me for my number or if i need any help with anything though a hello and chat has been offered, and i stay after holy mass to try and buddy buddy. Each parish i have been at for 2 or more years and the 4th present one i have been at for 7 months. What are all your experiences ? Oh i have handed out my number before to new comers at 2 of the first 3 parishes, the 1st parish i knew nothing and was fresh out the blocks for this race where the ultimate prize is heaven. Again , what are your own expeiences with this ? Where is the spirit of courage. ? Like i understand sheep are meek but aren't we meant to have the heart of a lion too. Like jesus.
[/quote]

You should try to get to know someone before giving them your number. Find activities to do with the parish as others have suggested. Getting to know people and creating friendships can be a slow process. So you shouldn't think bad of yourself if people do not automatically want to be your friend. Mass and right after Mass while still in the nave (the area where you and the people sit) isn't the best place to be trying to make friends. That area is for focusing upon God on the altar. But after Mass and after you've left the nave when you're at the door or outside while you wait to shake Father's hand (assuming he does that) you can say hello to people and maybe spark a short conversion. Then try to do that every Sunday with different folks and over time those interactions may grow into a friendship and then you can give your new friend your phone number.

Edited August 17, 2012 by KnightofChrist

[CatherineM]

I spend most of my time with people at women's meetings and volunteering at functions.

[MissyP89]

Mass is definitely a place for worship. But to suggest it's not the place to fellowship or make friends seems rather dangerous to me. There's a problem with Catholic culture when we view fellowship as something that happens in other churches, not with us.

What can we do to make our parishes more welcoming to others, especially new pholks?

ETA: This isn't a dig or attack at anyone, I promise! It's just something I've been pondering for a while, and this thread sparked those thoughts again.

Edited August 17, 2012 by MissyP89

[Papist]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1345243879' post='2469384']
Mass is definitely a place for worship. But to suggest it's not the place to fellowship or make friends seems rather dangerous to me. There's a problem with Catholic culture when we view fellowship as something that happens in other churches, not with us.

What can we do to make our parishes more welcoming to others, especially new pholks?

ETA: This isn't a dig or attack at anyone, I promise! It's just something I've been pondering for a while, and this thread sparked those thoughts again.
[/quote]
This is true. I hear often that the Catholic Church(via the parish they visited) was not 'welcoming'. It is us(laity), not the Church, that needs to make the Church parish welcoming.

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1345243879' post='2469384']
Mass is definitely a place for worship. But to suggest it's not the place to fellowship or make friends seems rather dangerous to me. There's a problem with Catholic culture when we view fellowship as something that happens in other churches, not with us.

What can we do to make our parishes more welcoming to others, especially new pholks?

ETA: This isn't a dig or attack at anyone, I promise! It's just something I've been pondering for a while, and this thread sparked those thoughts again.
[/quote]

Maybe my post sounded like I was implying this... sorry if I did, because that's not what I meant. I guess I did kind of sound like your stereotypical asocial Catholic. I certainly didn't intend that Mass isn't the place to make friends, simply that I, personally, prefer not to socialize a lot around Mass time. I'm not a terribly social individual to begin with, and I'm rather jealous of my quiet time.

The main point that I was trying to make is that just because people don't seem receptive to making friends at church doesn't necessarily mean that they are unwelcoming... hence the suggestion to meet them in a slightly different context like a group meeting of some sort. Still faith related, but where people surely and specifically intend to meet others and make friends.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1345244896' post='2469392']
Maybe my post sounded like I was implying this... sorry if I did, because that's not what I meant. I guess I did kind of sound like your stereotypical asocial Catholic. I certainly didn't intend that Mass isn't the place to make friends, simply that I, personally, prefer not to socialize a lot around Mass time. I'm not a terribly social individual to begin with, and I'm rather jealous of my quiet time.
[/quote]

Don't worry, I definitely understood. We're all different and there is room for all of us. Peace.

[Lilllabettt]

Its one of the things I like about Mass that I can go and be anonymous if I want. If I go to somewhere different, no one will notice, or at least no one will point out that I'm "new." I don't want to be "greeted" or anything like that. In fact when I do bump into the rare parish where my visit is exclaimed over or otherwise noted, I am careful never to return.

The act of welcoming implies the existence of a line of separation that is now being bridged with welcoming. I treasure the experience of going somewhere new and having my presence accepted as a matter of course. I think that is a gift of our particular culture of faith.