Phatmass Quest! An Arfink Production

[arfink]

OK, let's play a game. This is kinda like an adventure game on the computer, only I'm doing the drawings and such as we go along. You don't know what the goal of the game is, but you can order the character around to figure out what is going on and what you should do. (or what you want to do)

Since this is a Phatmass game, our main character will be Mikolbe. Mikolbe is inside a very small room, more like a closet. It is very cold in here, but is gradually getting warmer.

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-cHFTLXy9sNM/T5C4MVkZTMI/AAAAAAAABdY/q06eOStT1qo/s512/quest1.png[/img]

What should Mikolbe do?

Edited April 20, 2012 by arfink

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[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334884571' post='2421015']
Is that a window? Take a peek outside if it is.
[/quote]

It is a window. You can see indistinct shapes in the room beyond, dimly illuminated by the light of your room.

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-JymGE-m79Ls/T5C55q8gxXI/AAAAAAAABds/z2tki_IS6wc/s378/quest2.png[/img]

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[quote name='mysisterisalittlesister' timestamp='1334884934' post='2421022']
Pray a Rosary.
[/quote]

Despite the room's rising temperature becoming oppressive, Mikolbe dutifully prays his daily rosary.

[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334885019' post='2421024']
Hmm. Is that door locked? If it isn't, then go ahead and open it.
[/quote]

The door has no noticable handle. There is a big green button though.

[img]https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-OfvfKHKNZAM/T5C6yA8Q-LI/AAAAAAAABeA/b0_a4hGY-LQ/s512/quest3.png[/img]

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[quote name='PadrePioOfPietrelcino' timestamp='1334885253' post='2421032']
kick the button
[/quote]

Mikolbe's legs are not nimble enough to do this.

[quote name='Clare~Therese' timestamp='1334885255' post='2421033']
He should put on a razzle dazzle hat and dance.
[/quote]

Mikolbe, realizing he is already wearing a sweet hat, decides that is enough for now, and choses not to dance but OPEN THE DOOR. He is beginning to sweat profusely.

[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334885345' post='2421036']
Push dat buttin!
[/quote]
[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1334885422' post='2421038']
Say three Hail Mary's... then push the button in case there is something scary behind it.
[/quote]

Putting on his "amesome face", Mikolbe pushes the button. The door slides downwards, and Mikolbe stands in the portal, staring into the blackness, ready for anything. Maybe.

[img]https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-D4uF6qm90yU/T5C8nNo8Z9I/AAAAAAAABec/6tVt1bbpxO4/s512/quest4.png[/img]

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vxL3T15tc8w/T5C91Sl5XBI/AAAAAAAABec/rar5qCyvFo4/s512/quest5.png[/img]

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[quote name='PadrePioOfPietrelcino' timestamp='1334886279' post='2421060']
plucks his hair to make a rope in order to rappel down into the now exposed opening
[/quote]

His hair is already thinning. That would be sheer madness. Also, it's not that far to the floor. Mikolbe is already standing on it.

[quote name='she_who_is_not' timestamp='1334886323' post='2421061']
Pull out his phone and text Shea to ask if she will come pick him up. With a sammich.
[/quote]

After waking up in the very cold closet, Mikolbe realized he had nothing in his pockets. Forgot to mention that.

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1334886327' post='2421062']
hopefully, that darker room is a closet...


mikolbe needs pantaloons...
[/quote]

In case you were not observant enough, he IS wearing pantaloons. Skinny black jeans, actually. It's a miracle he got them on this morning. Be more grateful.

[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334886184' post='2421057']
Well...he's not dead yet...

Step out of the room or wait and watch?

Imma say wait a little bit and let your eyes get used to the dark. Don't wanna step into a pit or somethin', ya know.
[/quote]

Being reasonably smart, Mikolbe decides this is the best course of action, and pretty soon he can see what's in the dark room.

[img]https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-rdLa714E7_s/T5DCmC71qOI/AAAAAAAABew/EueUJcAeyWc/s800/quest6.png[/img]

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[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1334887332' post='2421073']
What, no light-saber? You completely ignored my request.


This GM smells of elderberries.

> Look out window.
[/quote]
[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334887344' post='2421074']
Ah! [i]Now[/i] we've got stuff to work....with....

Are we in space?
[/quote]

Mikolbe goes to the window and looks out. With a sinking feeling, Mikolbe realizes he isn't in Kansas anymore. He's in space.

And not just any space. He can't see any planets or nearby stars, and there are very few visible stars at all. But it's definitely outer space.

[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-eNmSgMh11xE/T5DGv-MMkLI/AAAAAAAABfE/kSelwqXYqdI/s800/quest7.png[/img]

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[quote name='she_who_is_not' timestamp='1334887847' post='2421080']
Read the note!
[/quote]
[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334888660' post='2421091']
Seconding SWIN's suggestion: Read teh note!
[/quote]

Mikolbe's eagle eyes spy a small scrap of paper on the floor. He picks it up and reads:

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-YTezWfLE1gw/T5DJNiL47oI/AAAAAAAABfY/ZJlGRKNMvyc/s800/quest8.png[/img]

[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1334888327' post='2421087']
Does he have the Space Navigation skill to try and figure out where he is?
[/quote]

Mikolbe hasn't ever been in space. This whole ordeal is pretty bewildering. I mean, what's he gonna do without sandwiches for a week?

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[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1334889159' post='2421095']
Not my problem. He should've paid attention in Space Navigation class.



Check out the computer. Turn it on.
[/quote]
[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334889412' post='2421096']
Ditto. Might as well check the computer before we try going anywhere.

Can you remember anything? Any reason you might suddenly find yourself in space, sammichless?
[/quote]

Mikolbe's memory is pretty foggy. He seems to remember being hungry, and then going into that closet, but not much else. Certainly not going to space!

Seeking answers, Mikolbe now turns to the computer. It's yellowed plastic shell is dusty and dirty, the screen smudged with dirt. The display already has something on it, but reading it only increases Mikolbe's concern:

[img]https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-UxFkBJbAvpo/T5DQI69Vc4I/AAAAAAAABfw/jyFMfm22n94/s800/quest9.png[/img]

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[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-BuuGgiTjUoc/T5DU4mBJShI/AAAAAAAABgE/kNMK9culH9Q/s800/quest10.png[/img]

Mikolbe stands in front of the computer, and pokes out a few commands on the keyboard.

[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1334890836' post='2421112']
Type command: "Open door" or something to that degree.
[/quote]

He types in "OPEN DOOR" but the computer replies with "SYNTAX ERROR."

[quote name='Spooky' timestamp='1334890881' post='2421114']
We were cryogenically frozen? Sounds like it was an accident, but...hmm.

Type in a "HELP" command, or something like it, to see what commands (if any) we can give the computer.
[/quote]

He tries typing in "HELP" and the computer returns the following output:

[quote]
BASIC COMMAND HELP:

HELP- GET THIS SCREEN
TIME- DISPLAY THE DATE AND TIME
LOAD [FILENAME] - LOAD A FILE
SEARCH [KEYWORD/WILDCARD] - FIND A FILE
NEW [FILENAME] - MAKE A NEW FILE
SEND [FILENAME] [ADDRESS] - SEND A FILE TO A REMOTE SYSTEM
*END OF HELP FILE

[/quote]

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Mikolbe immediately looks under his hat...

[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-HXqrn9VPMz0/T5IS92fauhI/AAAAAAAABg4/nhxOgLNfQZw/s800/quest11.png[/img]

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Mikolbe decides to go check out the door. He must have known he'd forget things in cryo, and were it not for that he'd be very hungry right now. Unfortunately he must not have thought he'd also forget the key code for the door. Looking at the pad, he notices all the numbers except the number one have been worn off. He tries hitting some random buttons on the keypad, to no avail.

[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ExgykeDc4dE/T5YVQY7MSwI/AAAAAAAABhw/158in__0tB0/s800/quest12.png[/img]

The display seems to be functioning, but the keys he types do not show up on the display. Instead, after pushing 6 random buttons the pad buzzes and the display reads "INCORRECT."

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The thoughts in Mikolbe's head are conflicting and confusing. Cryo sleep really messes with your noggin, apparently. He tries another 30 or so random and not so random combinations on the lock, to no avail. He really and honestly can't remember this place, which is frightening in itself. How long could he have been in cryo, to forget almost everything that happened before?

Feeling a bit tired and frustrated, he sits down on the floor (there's no chair, beaver dam) and takes another look around.

[quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1335040749' post='2421718']
He should check the ceiling for giant spiders (think Ewok movie size) and/or security cameras and/or if there even is a ceiling.
[/quote]
[quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1335059288' post='2421774']
Also, what is the floor surface? Is there carpet covering it? Rip up the carpet to see if there is anything hidden under it (such as notes, trapdoors, sammiches, etc.). If it is not carpeted, is it solid? With proper force, can he break through it?
[/quote]

Looking down, the floor is smooth, cold, and featureless, except for being covered in a thick layer of fine dust. It looks like it might be stone. The dust is oily and sticks to his fingers when he touches it. Mikolbe realizes the film is very similar to the dust that accumulates on the exhaust hood over a kitchen stove. Shea was always bothering him to clean that thing.

Looking up, Mikolbe realizes that the room is actually quite a bit taller than he first thought. With his eyes now fully adjusted to the dark he can see that the roof is probably 15 or 20 feet high, and comes to a point at the top like a pyramid. This is what he sees up there:

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-5ebJFRfNpdo/T5dc6TwO1MI/AAAAAAAABiE/ctBL-bUYby4/s800/quest13.png[/img]

EDITED for unintentional swears

Edited April 25, 2012 by arfink

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Mikolbe decides to try out the starchart program. After all, maybe it'll provide some kind of clue. He types "STARCHARTS.EXE" and hits enter to execute the program. Suddenly the room is filled with a dazzling red light, and a female voice speaks: "Please Select destination."

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-AzJY9ZH_3No/T5eEEPmfnnI/AAAAAAAABiY/-6QcfwQeKiU/I/quest14.png[/img]

Edited April 25, 2012 by arfink

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[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1335352592' post='2423115']
I hit the keypad with my fist..in it's face.
[/quote]

Feeling his rage building, Mikolbe goes super saiyan, charges up his Kamehameha to OVER 9000 and proceeds to hit the keypad IN ITS FACE!!!

[img]https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-SYUs9kK1Sy8/T5f-8GedfqI/AAAAAAAABis/QpEnU3M_F9A/s800/quest15.png[/img]

THEY KEYPAD IS UTTERLY DESTROYED!

Just kidding, that would be a horrible idea.

Edited April 25, 2012 by arfink

[arfink]

OK, update time!

Many of you wanted him to read the charts and set a course for home and/or pull the fire alarm. Here is what happens:

Mikolbe looks down at the laser-projected star charts on the floor, but they are extremely difficult to read. The grime on the floor is making his task very hard.

[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-OKc1C5LXzYc/T5tk7xVJL8I/AAAAAAAABjI/bPWCixLC_pU/s800/quest16.png[/img]

Undaunted, Mikolbe types into the computer various things like "EARTH," "HOME," MILKY WAY," and a few others. The computer replies "Unknown destination code. Please enter a 6-digit destination code to retrieve destination information."

Suspecting that the chart on the floor might contain some of these 6-digit codes if only he could read them, Mikolbe looks for a way to clean the floor. Smudging the grime about with his fingers doesn't seem to be working well, but then he remembers the fire alarm pull. Perhaps it would trigger a sprinkler or something and wash away the grime?

[img]https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-a91HxWSrCpw/T5tk8fcdQkI/AAAAAAAABjI/chQGrfNnjOc/s800/quest17.png[/img]

Only one problem: it's way up the wall. Now what?

Edited April 28, 2012 by arfink