FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I figured I'd create a thread for the updates on my illness. Hopefully, we'll have the MRI tomorrow. Just really hoping. I feel like if it's denied one more time, I'm just done. Maybe I'm being too dramatic, I don't know. You see, I've been trying to not think about the whole thing a lot, and trying to hold the frustration in, which results in me pity-partying every few days. Whether or not I just go pray or go cry it out to someone, it happens every couple days. It's how I cope, one thing pops my balloon, and the whole thing drains. And then I hate myself for it. Unfortunately, my birthday happens to be the day one thing pushes me over, and I spill out. I'll be fine, I just need to finish unloading, then I'll be okay for a few days. Well, hopefully I'll be able to come back tomorrow with something better to say. Oh, and really had a fantabulous birthday, thanks for all the happy birthdays I got today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Oh Claire, don't hate yourself, especially not for any of that. Talking things out, or typing them in this case, is a healthy coping mechanism. You're a strong young woman; needing someone to talk to doesn't make that any less true. You're in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I wonder why we consider it a weakness to show our emotion? We are all human, and as far as I know, we all have emotions. Holding emotion in is very damaging to your entire self, body, mind and spirit............. It is also not a pity party to tell, share and express what you are experiencing. You can't help what is happening, you don't deliberately cause it, please don't feel bad for feeling awful! As said above, sharing things is a healthy coping mechanism. We want to hear, we want to be here for you even in the limited way we can on line......... Hugs and prayers in equal measure for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Prayers, hun. I know that you're trying for emotional chastity in your relationships, but that doesn't mean you need to bottle up your feelings. Just don't vomit them all over the place (posting every thought and feeling on FB and demanding everyone take notice would be an example of what I mean). It's one thing to talk to a few friends about what's going on. It's entirely different to make it all about how you're feeling and demanding everyone pay attention to your feelings all the time, and not allow give and take in the relationship. And we want to support you through your struggles, so don't feel like you're pushing this on us. If we don't want to hear about it, we don't need to read your thread. It's not like you're posting in every thread about it. In fact, you make threads that are completely unrelated to your health issues and comment without referencing, so you're definitely not making it all about you. And that can be hard to do when your health issues are consuming your thoughts (at least it was for me when I had serious health stuff going on). I hope the MRI happens and goes well for you. I hope they can figure out what is going on from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 prayers for you as you get your MRI. they aren't awful, just noisy (from all of the magnets moving around). Let us know that you are ok! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I've had a couple of MRIs. I disliked them because of the noise and the fact that I felt like I needed to move as soon as they started, but it wasn't the most horrible thing in the world, promise. Some of the MRIs are open now, too. I will pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 FWIW, I have issues with really bad and frequent headaches...so they did an MRI of my brain. They found nothing. get it.. they found nothing!! (hope that brought a smile to your face, FCC) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 What others have said really...praying your MRI goes well and it helps pin down what's wrong soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Thank you guys for all the kind words, I really appreciate it. I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. It's a habit of mine. I feel bad when I vent to people, but I feel honored when people vent to me because it makes me know they trust me. I know it's hypocritical of me, but there you go. The MRI was an interesting experience. I had one of my spine about 2 or 3 years ago. This was way different because for the second half I had to have contrast. The burning fluid injected into my veins today was not so great, I still hurt, haha! But it was worth it. We should expect the results tomorrow. Praise God. Thank you all for the prayers.[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1344884380' post='2467047'] FWIW, I have issues with really bad and frequent headaches...so they did an MRI of my brain. They found nothing. get it.. they found nothing!! (hope that brought a smile to your face, FCC) [/quote] It did. Thanks. [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1344869651' post='2466875'] Prayers, hun. I know that you're trying for emotional chastity in your relationships, but that doesn't mean you need to bottle up your feelings. Just don't vomit them all over the place (posting every thought and feeling on FB and demanding everyone take notice would be an example of what I mean). It's one thing to talk to a few friends about what's going on. It's entirely different to make it all about how you're feeling and demanding everyone pay attention to your feelings all the time, and not allow give and take in the relationship. And we want to support you through your struggles, so don't feel like you're pushing this on us. If we don't want to hear about it, we don't need to read your thread. It's not like you're posting in every thread about it. In fact, you make threads that are completely unrelated to your health issues and comment without referencing, so you're definitely not making it all about you. And that can be hard to do when your health issues are consuming your thoughts (at least it was for me when I had serious health stuff going on). I hope the MRI happens and goes well for you. I hope they can figure out what is going on from it. [/quote] Thank you for understanding, I really needed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I second (Or is it seventh?) what everyone else has said. Recently l have been talking to many friends about a mounting personal problem, and it feels so great to finally talk about it. This isn't something I should feel guilty about, rather it is something that simply needed to be discussed and shared so I can get passed it. Don't be afraid to talk about this. If some people get annoyed that's their problem. They can skip the thread if they like. My inbox is constantly being cleaned, so if you need someone to message do not hesitate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Alright, results are back. I have a small shadowing with no outline on my pituitary gland that could be a micro-tumor, but it is un-identifiable. Next step is an appointment with another endocrinologist, back with my rheumatologist to get an MRI of my shoulder, some more bloodwork and hopefully a diagnosis! Oh I'm getting braces a week from today! Just found out yesterday, and went to my orthodontist appointment today. Have it scheduled for next Thursday... I need them because my adult K-9s are in the wrong place and my baby ones have not fallen out yet, so they have to put in the braces, then brackets later, then hope they come down in the right place, and if not, oral surgery here I come! I'm not too worried about it because we know what it is, it's been seen before, and it's not the worst case my orthodontist has seen! (The worst he saw was the person's K-9s coming out of their nose! ) But I'm really okay with all this, because it's just a part of my life. And hey, picking colors will be fun! You know, I've been doing OK emotionally lately. It's definitively all the prayers. I still need that vent session then distraction every few days, but I'm okay. I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength! I'll be fine, but keep up the prayers! At least I stopped feeling like I'm going clinically insane (BIG STEP). Love you all so much, FCC Fun fact: I've grown an inch in the past month after not having grown in a year! I guess there are down and up sides to this... Haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleWaySoul Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Would it be rude of me to ask how old you are, Claire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 [quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1345173804' post='2468965'] Would it be rude of me to ask how old you are, Claire? [/quote] No! I'm 14. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleWaySoul Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1345173901' post='2468968'] No! I'm 14. [/quote] Oh my goodness. You are incredibly eloquent and brave for a 14-year-old! I'll definitely ask Bl. Chiara to keep you in her prayers! She was a teenager like us, after all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 [quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1345174020' post='2468973'] Oh my goodness. You are incredibly eloquent and brave for a 14-year-old! I'll definitely ask Bl. Chiara to keep you in her prayers! She was a teenager like us, after all [/quote] Thank you. Oh my goodness, it's very ironic that you say that. I have a huge devotion to Blessed Chiara. She's one of my patronesses! And role-models, and everything else. The beauty of a suffering soul. Thanks so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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