FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 I called my mom crying this morning. Told her everything. The new guy is a keeper. We're going to be discernment buddies (because frankly, it would be good for me right now to have someone that I know in real life who is seriously discerning). Also, he's kind and respectful. I don't have to talk about the emotional side of my discernment. We can talk about visiting convents (because honestly, he thinks me doing nun runs is the coolest thing in the world ) We can talk about his discernment. Anything like that. My mom pointed out that of his immediate friends he has NO ONE seriously discerning, and discernment isn't only hard for me, his could be just as hard right now. Maybe it's good for both of us. Plus, discernment isn't the only thing we talk about. I lost my best friend because we had a stupid, one-sided friendship, where I was the only one who honestly ever cared or worked to be friends with her. - I lost my other friend because he was toying with my emotions because he didn't know how to handle his own. Someone should never publicly humiliate or ignore someone they care about when other people are around just because they don't know how to handle how they feel. I'm going to forgive and move on, but it might take some time. Even though I lost two friends I really cared about and am dealing with deaths as well, I actually became close with 5 friends of mine this year, some of them are new. And they're real this time, God-willing. I ask for your prayers during this time as I make some big emotional steps in my life. Thank you all for your advice, I don't what I'd do with out you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1344636541' post='2465739'] I called my mom crying this morning. Told her everything. The new guy is a keeper. We're going to be discernment buddies (because frankly, it would be good for me right now to have someone that I know in real life who is seriously discerning). Also, he's kind and respectful. I don't have to talk about the emotional side of my discernment. We can talk about visiting convents (because honestly, he thinks me doing nun runs is the coolest thing in the world ) We can talk about his discernment. Anything like that. My mom pointed out that of his immediate friends he has NO ONE seriously discerning, and discernment isn't only hard for me, his could be just as hard right now. Maybe it's good for both of us. Plus, discernment isn't the only thing we talk about. I lost my best friend because we had a stupid, one-sided friendship, where I was the only one who honestly ever cared or worked to be friends with her. - I lost my other friend because he was toying with my emotions because he didn't know how to handle his own. Someone should never publicly humiliate or ignore someone they care about when other people are around just because they don't know how to handle how they feel. I'm going to forgive and move on, but it might take some time. Even though I lost two friends I really cared about and am dealing with deaths as well, I actually became close with 5 friends of mine this year, some of them are new. And they're real this time, God-willing. I ask for your prayers during this time as I make some big emotional steps in my life. Thank you all for your advice, I don't what I'd do with out you. [/quote] I'm glad you decided to stay friends. I am sure that you will learn great things by being around each other. Friends who are discerning are difficult to come by as I have found in my own life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 [quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1344636541' post='2465739'] I called my mom crying this morning. Told her everything. The new guy is a keeper. We're going to be discernment buddies (because frankly, it would be good for me right now to have someone that I know in real life who is seriously discerning). Also, he's kind and respectful. I don't have to talk about the emotional side of my discernment. We can talk about visiting convents (because honestly, he thinks me doing nun runs is the coolest thing in the world ) We can talk about his discernment. Anything like that. My mom pointed out that of his immediate friends he has NO ONE seriously discerning, and discernment isn't only hard for me, his could be just as hard right now. Maybe it's good for both of us. Plus, discernment isn't the only thing we talk about. I lost my best friend because we had a stupid, one-sided friendship, where I was the only one who honestly ever cared or worked to be friends with her. - I lost my other friend because he was toying with my emotions because he didn't know how to handle his own. Someone should never publicly humiliate or ignore someone they care about when other people are around just because they don't know how to handle how they feel. I'm going to forgive and move on, but it might take some time. Even though I lost two friends I really cared about and am dealing with deaths as well, I actually became close with 5 friends of mine this year, some of them are new. And they're real this time, God-willing. I ask for your prayers during this time as I make some big emotional steps in my life. Thank you all for your advice, I don't what I'd do with out you. [/quote] [i]A[/i]wesome! Secretly I was hoping you would stay friends with him, but I didn't want to make you feel as if you [i]had [/i]to stay friends with him, since feeling trapped can lead to feelings of resentment towards the friendship, and this would not have been good. Just remember that you are both young and you have your entire lives ahead of you, so there is no need to put unnecessary worry on your vocation. I should know since I'm just as bad or worse at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1344642937' post='2465804'] [i]A[/i]wesome! [b]Secretly I was hoping you would stay friends with him[/b], but I didn't want to make you feel as if you [i]had [/i]to stay friends with him, since feeling trapped can lead to feelings of resentment towards the friendship, and this would not have been good. Just remember that you are both young and you have your entire lives ahead of you, so there is no need to put unnecessary worry on your vocation. I should know since I'm just as bad or worse at this. [/quote] This seriously made me laugh out loud. I think my mom was too. Thanks, dude. Edit: I can't believe I just said the above statement. Edited August 11, 2012 by FutureCarmeliteClaire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Didn't read the whole thread, but here goes. My Mom-Mom always says that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with a guy. You don't have to date him and you don't have to marry him. Even if there is attraction, it's OK to hang out and see if it goes anywhere. I knew Brian had feelings for me months before we actually got together. But that time was extremely important. We weren't ready to date at the time. Didn't stop us from spending time together, though! It's true that one or both of you may get hurt if you choose to try to be friends during discernment. But that's unavoidable ... you can't run away from something just because it holds the possibility of hurt. And if a relationship or even friendship does develop, there will [i]still [/i]be hurt feelings now and then. In brief: Love in ANY form requires risk, mutual effort, and yes, even a little hurt. Talk to him. Figure out how he feels about you, and about discernment. The first step is to figure out what exactly you guys are dealing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inperpetuity Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Sounds to me like you've already figured it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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