Impediments To Religious Life

[OnlySunshine]

oops! double post!

Edited August 7, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='dymphnamaria' timestamp='1344322849' post='2463915']
MaterMisericordiae,let us ask for that grace to be patient and be faithful to Him. God is so merciful and He works very mysteriously. Let us remember that He didn't call the qualified, but He qualifies the called.

I am really thankful that my condition has been stable w/o medication. I would be glad if you could help me with those communities.
But I hope i would love their spirituality and if i am really for that certain community.
[/quote]

Are you interested in active/contemplative, semi-contemplative, or strictly contemplative communities? I know that people like us have more luck discerning with active/contemplative orders because of the balance of prayer and work. These are the active/contemplative orders I am aware of that DO allow candidates with mental health issues:

[url="http://www.carmelitedcjnorth.org/"]Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus[/url] (Northern Province ONLY)

[url="http://rsmofalma.org/"]Religious Sisters of Mercy of Alma, MI[/url]

[url="http://www.sistersofthemostholysoulofchrist.com/"]Sisters of the Most Holy Soul of Christ[/url]

[url="http://sistersofcharity.com/"]Sisters of Charity of Our Lady Mother of the Church[/url]

It has been my experience that, if you discern with an order that has a healthcare apostolate -- especially if they are involved in psychiatry or psychology like the RSMs -- you will find that they are much more understanding of health problems because they know proper prophylaxis and treatment. There is less of a stigma involved, as well.

I was set to enter the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in Milwaukee in 2009. The only reason I didn't is because their apostolate wasn't for me. I don't work well with children, but it might work for someone else. I know that one of their newly professed is required to take medication for life for a mental health condition because we went on retreat together. The Sisters were unphased when I told them I had only been off my medication for 4 months at the time.

I was briefly in contact with the Sisters of the Most Holy Soul of Christ in Stuart, FL. I found them through the IRL database and contacted them when I read this on their IRL description:

[quote]Any young woman desiring to be a Sister of the Most Holy Soul of Christ is invited. The community states, "If you are a woman of courage who is not afraid of any challenge, then we are inviting you to open up to God's call and join us with joyful spirit."[/quote]

My friend discerned with the Sisters of Charity of Our Lady Mother of the Church and asked them a hypothetical question regarding someone with depression for my sake (even though I did not ask her to). They replied that as long as the person was stable, they would allow them to discern. I am not attracted to that order, but I wanted to put them out there.

Also, way back in 2008, I was in contact with a cloistered Carmelite community in Savannah, GA. I found them through the Mary Queen of Carmel Association because I thought their website was very helpful. The prioress at the time, Sr. Joann, helped me through a very bad period in my discernment when I was just starting to understand that my depression could cause a problem. Her words of advice to me were that mental health disorders, when they are well controlled, are no different than physical disorders that require medication like diabetes or high blood pressure. Depression is much more prevalent in our society than it was a century ago. Unfortunately, that Sister is no longer the prioress and she transferred to a different Carmel in Latrobe, PA. But her advice has stuck with me.

I will research more orders, but it will help to know what kind you are looking for. Also, any particular spirituality you are interested in?

Edited August 7, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae

[beatitude]

I second what everyone else has said about mental illness not necessarily getting in the way. However, something in your first post did make me pause: "But what if i was just being misdiagnosed? Will i just let this thing hinder me to enter convent?I am actually planning to have a second opinion on being a bipolar."

Why do you want a second opinion on having bipolar disorder? Is it because you have good reasons for thinking that the diagnosis was incorrect, or is that you really want to become a sister and you think you would have a better chance without this diagnosis? If it's the second one, be careful, as this shows a lack of trust - and trust is what is needed in the religious life, no matter whether you're ill or healthy.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='dymphnamaria' timestamp='1344319898' post='2463895']
Thank you BarbaraTherese for sharing your insights and experiences. And mostly your prayers,which I really need now. I'm praying that this condition was just a misdiagnosis and my desire is not contrary to the will of God. Let us continue to pray and ask for Mama Mary's guidance.

May the Virgin Mary bless us with her Holy Child..
[/quote]

You are in my prayers with your hopes in the short and long term - and please keep me in yours.
'Bad advice' is like a scenic tour, or the long way round, to light with insight. Sometimes The Lord indeed writes straight in crooked lines to our human and fallible understanding. Trust in Him is never ever confounded no matter who or what tries to get in the way.
[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gate_of_the_Year"]http://en.wikipedia....ate_of_the_Year[/url]

[b]God Knows[/b]
And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart bestill:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

Edited August 7, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[AccountDeleted]

I know of one Carmelite Prioress who had Bi-polar disorder, but I think she was diagnosed after she entered. The important thing is to be honest with whatever community you discern with. But that doesn't mean that you have to introduce yourself as someone with Bi-polar either. your illness does not define you, but it also shouldn't be ignored as a possible challenge in religious life.

[dymphnamaria]

[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1344330737' post='2463936']
I second what everyone else has said about mental illness not necessarily getting in the way. However, something in your first post did make me pause: "But what if i was just being misdiagnosed? Will i just let this thing hinder me to enter convent?I am actually planning to have a second opinion on being a bipolar."

Why do you want a second opinion on having bipolar disorder? Is it because you have good reasons for thinking that the diagnosis was incorrect, or is that you really want to become a sister and you think you would have a better chance without this diagnosis? If it's the second one, be careful, as this shows a lack of trust - and trust is what is needed in the religious life, no matter whether you're ill or healthy.
[/quote]


I have already accepted that i am bipolar even on the very first time it was said to me by my doctor, i don't doubt about it. It is just that I wanted to give myself a second chance and i have also my good reasons that i might have just been misdiagnosed. But you are right, i just wanted to become a nun, and i might lack that trust. Anyway, please help me pray that Our Lady will give me the grace to be faithful to God. And to abandon my will to Him. I remember the words Mother Teresa said: "God has not called me to be SUCCESSFUL, He called me to be FAITHFUL."

Edited August 7, 2012 by dymphnamaria

[BarbTherese]

[quote[b]]Anyway, please help me pray that Our Lady will give me the grace to be faithful to God. And to abandon my will to Him. I remember the words Mother Teresa said: "God has not called me to be SUCCESSFUL, He called me to be FAITHFUL."[/b][/quote]

Beautiful!

[dymphnamaria]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1344326800' post='2463921']
You have a heavy cross to carry. I don't have any advice to offer but I'll pray for you. Are you interested in active or contemplative orders? The Visitation nuns were founded for women who were not physically able for life in other orders. It may be worth checking them out if you're interested in a more contemplative life.
[/quote]

I am more interested to be contemplative. I had emailed the Visitation nuns before MM is right, they require their vocations to be mentally healthy, which i know most of the communities esp. contemplative would require. Thank you still for your prayers..

[dymphnamaria]

BarbaraTherese, I will always keep you in my prayers. And also don't forget to ask the help of St. Dymphna, she will surely help us with this condition.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='dymphnamaria' timestamp='1344337388' post='2463950']
BarbaraTherese, I will always keep you in my prayers. And also don't forget to ask the help of St. Dymphna, she will surely help us with this condition.
[/quote]

Amen to that! I saw some time back that she has a national shrine in the USA - [url="https://www.natlshrinestdymphna.org/"]https://www.natlshrinestdymphna.org/[/url]

National Shrine - Shop [url="https://www.natlshrinestdymphna.org/shop/"]https://www.natlshrinestdymphna.org/shop/[/url]

Edited August 7, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[dymphnamaria]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1344329232' post='2463931']
I will research more orders, but it will help to know what kind you are looking for. Also, any particular spirituality you are interested in?
[/quote]

Thank you for those list of communities, I hope they have convents here in my country. I became interested to the Franciscan Spirituality since I had my formation with the Franciscan for almost 2yrs. I forgot to mention, I entered religious life and i was glad the Mother Superior still accepted despite of my being bipolar. I have been doing well with my formation and the superior even told me she didn't see any sign of my depression. Although,our Mother Delegate told me they tried to save my vocation but still our Mother General decided to let me go. But I am still thankful that they have accepted me because i really learn a lot of things from them, the value of the sacrifice of the mass, the singing of the Gregorian chant (i miss those chants ), just to mention a few.

Edited August 7, 2012 by dymphnamaria

[BarbTherese]

It is sad that the presence of 'mental illness' can be such an impediment to religious life. Very often the sufferer can find it far more difficult to adjust to life's stresses and strains than a non sufferer. This is where a good therapist and medication can be so helpful. The medication can settle anxiety/symptoms of MI as the therapist helps one to make a psychological adjustment to life's stresses and strains, leading the sufferer to handle life in the more common fashion and more skillfuly, removing the anxiety once attached; however, very often the label of mental illness does not disappear. The person may still be suffering a mental illness per se but far more able to deal with life and what comes along than previously and very often without the medication once the actual psychological adjustment is achieved. But that label does not go away and with the label comes all the preconceived notions within the community, both general and religious, about mental illness and those who suffer same; however, the sufferer now will handle stress and life generally in the more common fashion (as opposed to 'normal' fashion when we do not know what normal for the human being actually is! Are we meant by the very nature of our humanity to be very sensitive to life, or are we meant to be not so sensitive - this is the question)
It is quite well known that sufferers of mental illness are very often very sensitive individuals and in our modern society with its stresses and strains, perhaps overly sensitive in social terms. I once read in Time Magazine that 'normal' is an ever shifting line set by society and the headline to the article read "In an insane society, the sane will be considered insane". Sound therapy can help with this. That is, help the sufferer psychologically to come into line with the rest of society. Toe the social line and that same Time article ran on that psychiatry is the invention of society to keep its more creative members in line (and at the time I smiled indeed). What is needed is psychological adjustment to social requirements. This will mean that the stress that once triggered symptoms of the mental illness as quite overt symptoms creating problems in life, are now lessened so that under these same stresses, the sufferer reacts in a more common or 'normal' fashion.

How I personally have come to terms with it all is that The Lord has permitted me to exist in this time in which I do and with the associated problems and difficulties. And He has His Reasons hidden from my understanding. My own struggles with desiring religious life are now past tense and so it is 'easy for [i]me[/i] to speak' and the road to an adjustment to the frustration of that desire for religious life has now reached its conclusion with my acceptance of my situation after a long road of denial - and a successful adjustment (and this is where my director comes in) to my current way of life as being that intended for me. This "intended for me" is 'displayed' in the Peace and Joy, contentment and fulfilment I do experience, which does not mean at all no challenges, far from that. The fact that these dispositions are of long standing indicates the Presence of The Holy Spirit in my life. It remains a mystery to me why I do suffer Bipolar and hence (for one) my desire for religious life frustrated - and it was a road of denial to actual acceptance of the presence of "Mystery" in my own life. This element of mystery in my life is a burden of the cross I do carry from having a mental illness in the first place - and what it means to my life though a life outside of religious life. Elements of my life are thus mystery and the cross. Recognition and peaceful acceptance to this was a long journey and here spiritual direction again came into play and very much so. We know that God is Mystery and in struggling with the mystery in my own life, I came to recognize it as indeed struggling with an angel as it were.
What I also needed (and again this is where spiritual direction came into play in a very big way) was a shift from a focus of what I wanted, to focus on The Lord and that His invitation to my life may not be what I wanted my life to be. This was a huge shift in my focus and a painful one that took time. I needed to detach from what I wanted, from myself and my desires.
When I left monastic life in my forties, I knew I did not have a religious vocation. However, at that point I then knew where I was not called - but that to which I was called was to unfold over time and another journey. In that journey both my psychiatrist and my director, at points, had a very big part to play and in effect what was happening, I now see with hindsight, is that they were working together. My director confessor (priest) in the very early days of my illness said to me "The priest and the psychiatrist work together".
"Do you know my doctor?" I asked
He replied in the negative, but over time I learnt to trust in The Holy Spirit primarily and always - who indeed knew my doctor.

Edited August 12, 2012 by BarbaraTherese