Breaking Into Youth Ministry?

[Jaime]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1342493554' post='2456266']
there is scrutiny, and then there is [i]scrutiny[/i]. not every parish will be the same (thank GOD!) but every parish has its politics (unfortunately). if you do this, be prepared to defend your faith from [i]within[/i] the Church and [i]outside[/i] the Church. the really difficult part isn't the kids or programming (in a way), it's their parents, because their parents have entrenched bad catechesis. the kids are hungry for knowledge and truth (and that in a way is easy). but their parents will yell at you, tell you you're wrong, patronize you, guilt you, and put you down, because they feel their faith is under attack by you (even though you're not attacking them). are you ready for that? are you ready for parish leaders to talk to you in the same way those parents will? are you ready to be the youngest person on staff (by many, many years in most cases), and to be talked down to in that way?

are you ready for this to consume your life? are you ready for the guilt when you take time off?

this is why prayer & the sacraments are so important when you're a ym - and i'm glad jaime brought that up already. i'd go into the chapel right when i got to work and pray. i'd pray before every youth group meeting. i'd pray before talking with kids. morning Mass wasn't really an option for me, but at least once a week I'd try to go to daily Mass. prayer and sacraments aren't really an option when you're a youth minister, it's [b]necessity[/b] - there is no slacking off unless you want to have youth group nights go completely down the gutter. when you're not in ministry, there's a tendency to slack off prayer/sacrament life....and that's simply not a good thing when you are in ministry. plus, you [i]will[/i] be attacked by the devil for your work. that's another scary reality.

i know it probably seems like i'm being harsh on you, but in a way, i want to make sure you know the realities of being a youth minister - challenges that are definitely different that a religious ed coordinator/teacher. yes, there are wonderful moments that make you keep going. but there is a reason that youth ministry is usually #1 of all church ministries for burn-out rates. (from my experience and talking with other youth ministers from around the country)
[/quote]

Red is 100% on the money and is not exaggerating even one teensy bit. If you are successful at being a youth minister all these things will happen, especially the attacked by satan thing. (I wish that was just hyperbole) And you will be paid more if you managed a gas station than you will ever see as a Catholic youth minister. You will see your protestant colleagues get liveable salaries while you look for house sitting jobs or catering gigs to make ends meet. I spent 10 years doing youth ministry and saw the national turnover rate hover around 6-8 months. I thought they should measure the time in dog years.

That being said, I've had several careers since then and youth ministry is still the greatest job I've ever had.

[MissyP89]

Red, jaime, thank you both again. In a lot of ways, you said what I expected to hear ... perhaps that's a sign that I'm thinking about this pragmatically. I hope it is, anyway.

There are some things that gave me pause, however, and that's a good thing. Some of those "are you ready" questions didn't come with a quick response from me, and those are the things I'll need to prepare for if and when the time is right for me to do this.

I do know that I'm going to need a spiritual director before I make the leap. It's been difficult for me to find even a regular confessor thanks to my tendency to like parochial vicars who are reassigned after a few years. I need someone I can be candid with, and it takes time and the right person to build that level of comfort.

Edited July 17, 2012 by MissyP89

[MissScripture]

If you do end up doing something like this, I would also like to say, even if only a couple people show up (or even just one) for things, remember that if you weren't doing this, no one would show up. I've never actually been a YM, but I was involved a lot in jr high and high school with planning things and my parents did YM when I was in college. What always frustrated me was the focus on numbers by so many people in charge, and a "why bother?" attitude when there weren't big groups. While a lot of people showing up would be nice, I didn't think it was fair to ignore the kids who DID show up and wanted to be a part of it. It obviously meant there was some need for it, and without it, those kids would have nothing.

[BG45]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1342506564' post='2456312']
I do know that I'm going to need a spiritual director before I make the leap. It's been difficult for me to find even a regular confessor thanks to my tendency to like parochial vicars who are reassigned after a few years. I need someone I can be candid with, and it takes time and the right person to build that level of comfort.
[/quote]

I have a solution Mel. Step 1: Get tight with Monsignor B. finally. Step 2: Bishop G. reassigns him. Step 3: You get someone you like as a confessor again.
[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1342538504' post='2456345']
What always frustrated me was the focus on numbers by so many people in charge, and a "why bother?" attitude when there weren't big groups. While a lot of people showing up would be nice, I didn't think it was fair to ignore the kids who DID show up and wanted to be a part of it. It obviously meant there was some need for it, and without it, those kids would have nothing.
[/quote]

From what I heard on the gossip chain, this sort of argument broke out at the chancery recently here. One group was arguing that far too much money is spent on the youth and "why should we care, they're just going to leave anyhow" was their primary argument. The other side was saying that if we have an attitude where we expect young adults to leave, they probably will, and pointed to my own university parish where the Catholic Student Association is involved in so many things and where in the past three years we've had recent graduates who have begun seminary for the priesthood and others who are discerning religious life.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='BG45' timestamp='1342540506' post='2456356']

I have a solution Mel. Step 1: Get tight with Monsignor B. finally. Step 2: Bishop G. reassigns him. Step 3: You get someone you like as a confessor again.


From what I heard on the gossip chain, this sort of argument broke out at the chancery recently here. One group was arguing that far too much money is spent on the youth and "why should we care, they're just going to leave anyhow" was their primary argument. The other side was saying that if we have an attitude where we expect young adults to leave, they probably will, and pointed to my own university parish where the Catholic Student Association is involved in so many things and where in the past three years we've had recent graduates who have begun seminary for the priesthood and others who are discerning religious life.
[/quote]
My parents ended up doing a lot for my sister and her friends, which also frustrated some of the people in the parish office, because those kids "got it" and had a pretty good understanding of their faith for their age, so they didn't "need" this stuff. But why should that mean that they can't have programs to further their spiritual development? No, it wasn't the kids who maybe needed to have a foundation developed, but short of kidnapping these kids, what is a person supposed to do? It was a struggle getting those kids to show up at the CCD classes. Why would people expect that they would go to optional church stuff? And after my parents did Theology of the Body for Teens, the next summer, one of the girls who took the class was from another parish and went back to her parish and lead the class, and 38 people showed up! So, it definitely wasn't a waste, even though only a few people showed up for my parents. Otherwise, that other girl never would've led the class.

Plus, if we don't start trying to develop strong Catholic youth, we'll just continue the cycle of parents who don't understand Church teaching and why it's important for their kids to be going. It's going to be a long hard road, but the longer we wait, the longer and harder it will bed.

*steps off of soapbox* Sorry. Clearly, this is something I feel strongly about.

[BG45]

That is amesome that the girl ended up going back to lead a ToB group with 38 people in attendance!! And no need to apologize for soapboxing, I was restraining myself from a lengthy post about my own opinions on why saying we shouldn't care about youth is total bull.

See, the people barely wanting to show up for CCD classes just gets at me, parent wise I mean. When I was a Baptist it was like everybody showed up for Sunday School and for church services. A LOT of people showed up for youth group every week even though it was optional; like some days we'd have over 100 people and normally we had at least 50. Why go to optional church stuff? Because it can be fun...and like you said, some kids might want more than just a foundation, but also continued spiritual development!

And totally agree on the cyclical nature of things. If the parents don't care to be the first educators of their kids in faith, why should the kids care about CCD? If the parents don't want to take them, kids are smart and will pick up on it, and Catholicism may just become a cultural "thing" you pass down generation to generation. Most Catholic reverts I know had that one moment when they siezed their faith and made it their own, and equivalent of the "being Saved" moment and I don't think that's at all inconsequential. If we could just figure out a way to make kids realize, whether their parents do or not, that they're in a personal relationship with Jesus, I think it would do worlds of good.

For those who think I'm sounding a bit too Protestant-y...a few quotes:
[quote]
"Christianity is not a new philosophy or new morality. We are Christians only if we encounter Christ... Only in this personal relationship with Christ, only in this encounter with the Risen One do we really become Christians... Therefore, let us pray to the Lord to enlighten us, so that, in our world, he will grant us the encounter with his presence, and thus give us a lively faith, an open heart, and great charity for all, capable of renewing the world."
[b]- Pope Benedict XVI, Vatican City, Sept. 3, 2008[/b]

Our knowledge of Jesus is in need above all of a living experience: Another person's testimony is certainly important, as in general the whole of our Christian life begins with the proclamation that comes to us from one or several witnesses. But we ourselves must be personally involved in an intimate and profound relationship with Jesus." [b]- Pope Benedict XVI, October 4, 2006 Rome[/b]

“How many people also in our time are in search of God, in search of Jesus and of his Church, in search of divine mercy, and are waiting for a "sign" that will touch their minds and their hearts! Today, as then, the Evangelist reminds us that the only "sign" is Jesus raised on the cross: Jesus who died and rose is the absolutely sufficient sign. Through him we can understand the truth about life and obtain salvation."
- [b]Pope Benedict XVI, Parish of God the Merciful Father, Rome, March 26, 2006[/b]

"Many people perceive Christianity as something institutional -- rather than as an encounter with Christ -- which explains why they don't see it as a source of joy."
[b]-Pope Benedict XVI, May 2004[/b]
[/quote]

Holy moly I've gone on a while. Time to apologize for my soapbox also!

Though this entire thread has made me think of one last quote by The German Shepherd:
[quote]"Those who allow themselves to be led by the Spirit understand that placing oneself at the service of the Gospel is not an optional extra, because they are aware of the urgency of transmitting this Good News to others...I assure you that the Spirit of Jesus today is inviting you young people to be bearers of the good news of Jesus to your contemporaries."
- [b]Pope Benedict XVI, Papal Message for World Youth Day '08, July 24, 2007[/b]
[/quote]

[Brother Adam]

[quote]the really difficult part isn't the kids or programming (in a way), it's their parents, because their parents have entrenched bad catechesis[/quote]

THIS. Amen. Amen. Amen. I have been involved in youth ministry for 3 years and this couldn't be more true. I can handle the inner parish politics. I can handle other parishes trying to siphon off what few teens we have. I can handle small groups or nights when no one shows up. It's the parents that are the hardest part of youth ministry. At best they don't understand, but more normally they don't care. If their kids have been confirmed, as far as they are concerned public school activities and sports are all that matter. You're a joke. And the few that do care about their teens relationship with Christ will constantly remind you that everything you are doing is wrong.

[sixpence]

Does campus ministry count as youth ministry? That sounds so much less scary to me... no parents...people choosing to go; but still need people to do youth ministry proper. I think the only 2 things I can remember from my parish's youth ministry was the ski trip where I learn to ski, a trip to volunteer at the food bank, and that is really about it.

[Amppax]

I would suggest reading the book Soul of the Apostolate. It's amesome, its required reading for Catechetics majors at Franciscan.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1342550437' post='2456419']
I would suggest reading the book Soul of the Apostolate. It's amesome, its required reading for Catechetics majors at Franciscan.
[/quote]

and impossible to get through for some

[Amppax]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1342551012' post='2456426']
and impossible to get through for some
[/quote]

Well, I haven't gotten all the way through yet

[BG45]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1342551012' post='2456426']
and impossible to get through for some
[/quote]
[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1342555630' post='2456455']
Well, I haven't gotten all the way through yet
[/quote]

We have a book like that which I've had to read for both grad programs. Thomas Kuhn's "Structure of Scientific Revolutions". I've never actually read the whole thing, just skimmed, skipped when he started repeating and skimmed again. Depending on who you ask, it's the best thing since sliced bread or a punishment for deciding you wanted to try to get a graduate degree.

I realize that had nothing to do with the book you two mentioned or the topic of the thread. Sorry!

Anyhow, to be somewhat on topic. I've known you for about a fourth of my life Missy and the issue of youth in the Church has always been important to you, even when you weren't yet back in the Church. I can remember when we hung out on EW and stuff you'd even be remarking on it then. I think if, at some point, you decide to do this despite the scrutiny and lack of appreciation (two things you've already been dealing with as a journo) that you'll do well at it. Because it isn't some passing notion in your head, but one that has truly been on your heart for years.

[Groo the Wanderer]

geeze - i forgot to be all serious. you should also read a couple of books. you can prolly get them online for free at the USCCB site....

National Directory for Catechesis
Workers in the Vineyard

[Winchester]

There's a lot of variables. The doors probably aren't all that hard to force, even if they're metal. You might go through a window.

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

I am a 17 (about to be 18) year old that has been in a relatively good youth program at my parish. I have been thinking about youth ministry as well so I can discern through college if it is a fit. I've thought about becoming a missionary with Lifeteen or just a Summer Staff missionary for one of their summer camps. I still have a few years though, so I don't know. But coming from a youth herself we need people dedicated to the truth, and in many ways there are youth out there who need good role models, because sometimes the only role models they get is through the youth programs. It's a very hard job too, my Youth minister was there for me through some pretty ugly stuff in my life, so like Red and Jaime said, sacraments and prayer is a MUST. There are many joys, laughs, pizza parties and games, but there are also hardships, politics, hurt, and sacrifice.

Thank you Missy for starting this thread because you're definitely not the only one thinking about youth ministry. It is a blessing to have access to advice like this.