For The Ladies: Fragility?

[MissyP89]

I'm wondering what the women in the phamily think about this quote.

“Women are delicate creatures. Fragile. Gentle. Made by God to be sheltered from the harshness of this world."

Does it ring true to you? Does it offend? What are your thoughts?

[Lil Red]

i don't get it.

it's far removed from my experience of women in my life.

[MissyP89]

In what way? Do you come from a line of fierce women like I do?

[beatitude]

*snorts*

I'm sure that was what Holofernes was thinking right before Judith lopped off his head and carried it home in her lunchbag.

Edited to add: if we were made by God to be 'sheltered from the harshness of this world', why are we the ones getting pregnant and giving birth? I am too fragile for this business, I want some kind of seahorse arrangement.

Edited July 9, 2012 by beatitude

[Luigi]

All statements arise from a time, a place, and the culture of that time & place.

That one sounds like Victorian, upper-class England to me.

[franciscanheart]

Yeah, if we're so fragile, why are we the ones that menstruate and labor?

[MissyP89]

I like the gentleness. I like the idea that I should be protected. But [i]fragile? [/i]

Is fragility ever a good thing?

[franciscanheart]

[size=6]fragile[/size]
[font=HiraMinPro-W3]|ˈfrajəl; -ˌjīl|[/font]adjective
(of an object) easily broken or damaged.
[font=LucidaGrande][size=3]• [/size][/font]flimsy or insubstantial; easily destroyed [i]: you have a fragile grip onreality.[/i]
[font=LucidaGrande][size=3]• [/size][/font](of a person) not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable.

[size=4]DERIVATIVES[/size]
fragilely [font=HiraMinPro-W3]|ˈfrajə(l)lē|[/font] adverb
fragility [font=HiraMinPro-W3]|frəˈjilitē|[/font] noun

[size=4]ORIGIN [/size]late 15th cent. (in the sense [morally weak] ): from Latin[i]fragilis[/i], from [i]frangere [/i][i]‘to break.’ [/i]The sense [liable to break] dates from the mid 16th cent.

[EmilyAnn]

There are some women that probably are fragile and delicate. And there are some women who are none of those things. I also think there are women who play up the fragile and delicate angle. I confess I do this so that my male housemates will do stuff for me.

And I agree with Missy, I like the idea of gentleness.

[MissyP89]

I like delicate. In some sense, I even like vulnerable (in the sense that deep friendships and relationships are cultivated in vulnerability).

But I don't like people telling me I'm easily broken. Even if it's true.

[beatitude]

St Francis de Sales is usually one of the first saints to be mentioned when people talk about cultivating a spirituality of gentleness, and he's male. Gentleness is a quality that shines through Jesus' interactions with people - I have always been struck by how he took only a small group of people into the room when he healed Jairus' daughter, knowing that a crowd would be overwhelming to her; and how, when he asked Peter the painful question 'Do you love me?' a significant three times, he took him to one side to do it. He was unfailingly gentle. This is a quality that we must all strive for. It's not related to biological sex.

As for being protected, being alive hurts. We are all vulnerable to loss and pain. There is no way for any of us to escape from that. No protection that a man can offer can shelter a woman from pain, and vice versa. And would we want to be sheltered, when it came down to it? Sealed away from fundamental experiences of life, experiences that can teach us to love more deeply? The real question is how we help one another to bear with pain, and again, this is a question for everyone.

We are all fragile too - physically, mentally, spiritually. We easily fall into sin. A brain haemorrhage could take away all my intellectual powers in the next five minutes. Next week I could contract a debilitating illness and become unable to walk. Fragility is just a part of humanity, and women are no more or less fragile than men.

This kind of thinking gets used to demean and to silence women. At one time it was argued that medicine was an inappropriate career for a woman because her tender fragile self would be too distressed by the sight of blood and gore. And she shouldn't have the vote, but should instead trust her (male) protector to shield her from all that nasty political business and make good decisions on her behalf. So today I am wary when I hear that I am fragile, to be protected, because historically this 'protection' has taken the shape of men making unilateral decisions about women's capabilities.

[Papist]

I think it would help to know the context of the quote. I doubt it is referring to rock climbing or flag football.

We all have our fragile-tees.

Edited July 10, 2012 by Papist

[MissyP89]

Excellent post, beatitude. One of the few times I wish I could prop more than once.

The only thing I take issue with is this part:

[quote]No protection that a man can offer can shelter a woman from pain, and vice versa. And would we want to be sheltered, when it came down to it?[/quote]

I think that it is possible for a man to shelter a woman, and vice versa. He's not going to be able to fix it necessarily, or minimize it, but his being strong for her in the midst of trouble can absolutely make it easier for her to keep going. (But it's also important to mention it's not easier [i]because he's a man -- [/i]it's easier because he's being a comforting, supportive presence in her time of need. That trait is gender-neutral.)

And as for wanting to be sheltered ... I confess that there are times it's a good thing. But it also depends on the circumstance. I wouldn't want my boyfriend -- or any man! -- to step in and settle an argument for me, for example. I think it's important for me to be able to figure things out on my own, and to be independent. Another example is that he shouldn't have to take a job for me so I don't have to work ... though I appreciate the sentiment, it's not always [i]necessary[/i]. Work is gratifying, and it feels good to be able to contribute actively to a home.

But in moments of real trouble -- emotional distress, spiritual struggle, illness, making big life changes or decisions -- I would both want and expect a man's presence and care. In my own life, I'm dealing with some very stressful family concerns right now, and being sheltered and protected by a man in the particularly difficult moments has made it possible for me to stay strong when I would otherwise be unable to on my own.

Edited July 10, 2012 by MissyP89

[CatherineM]

I've never felt fragile. Well, maybe when in the hospital. My mom has buried 4 men who were supposed to be tougher than her.

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

I come from a long line of strong women in my family. Everyone is vulnerable to the harshness of the world, but in everyone there is inner strength that they didn't know they had. I am and many other Phatmassers are examples of that.