Emotional Chastity

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1341754704' post='2453482']
I thought this was a joke. Then I googled 'emotional chastity'. Fantastic. Pleased to see that someone out there is telling young Catholic women about the importance of not merely keeping their legs closed but also their mouths shut around boys.
[/quote]

Is that the holy catholic churches view point, or is it an individual in the church, or a certain type of spirituality within the holy catholic church that is not for all, or is it wikity wikity whackapedia attempt at journalism. Please explain hasan, coz what you have said sounds rather horribly contrary to the truth of the holy catholic church.

[BarbTherese]

[i]It's not my cuppa tea, I must confess - just couldn't get into it enough to watch the whole video; hence, didn't go to the website except to get the link. [/i]But then I am 66yrs of age and perhaps have worked most of it out in the journey of life to this point....dunno!...... (don't really know, cause I still cannot figure out what the term "emotional chastity" may mean as a term with a clearly defined meaning). I like what St. Augustine said "Love and do what you will", which is not as simple as it may sound and yet entirely simple!..........and my age may be showing
Insofar as I am aware, the video and link to Sara's website below the video below are Catholic sources:

[u]Life on The Rock - Emotional Chastity (Video)[/u]
[u][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_DaY5XcPE8&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL4E18AA39A6D18556[/media][/u]




[u]-[/u]

[size=4][b]Sara Swafford (speaker in above video).[/b][/size] Her website: [url="http://www.emotionalvirtue.com/"]http://www.emotionalvirtue.com/[/url]

[BarbTherese]

[b][url="http://www.doctorsofthecatholicchurch.com/AU.html"]http://www.doctorsof...rch.com/AU.html[/url][/b]

[quote[b]].............."...............John [St John The Baptist] was touched by God's grace through Mary before he was born. Augustine's grace came much later. The Church's prayer on Augustine feast day says I will sing of your salvation. The jubilation of salvation is remarkable. We take it for granted. When one is transformed from sinner to saint, it is a great day for joy, celebration and singing. Those who have been liberated from sin, and know it, live in the true freedom on God. [color=#ff0000]That is why Augustine espoused the phrase: love and live the way you will.[/color] It has been said that those who truly appreciate spiritual light have experienced spiritual darkness. This is true whether we speak of physical darkness or spiritual darkness.

To compare John, the holy one, with Augustine, the sinner at that time, in one way, is to compare the sublime with the ridiculous. Albeit, to love God, all things work together unto good. Sometimes God allows us to become saints with our last breath. God illustrates this truth through the 'good' thief, St Dismas. He died beside Jesus on the cross on Good Friday. With Jesus' last breath, He declared to this saint: "This day you will be with me in Paradise".

We need to turn our eyes and hearts toward Jesus in faith despite our crimes, sins, and failures. When we practice our faith daily or are dying as St Dismas, we need to acknowledge Jesus. He is our Lord and Savior who died for our bad deeds. Christ offered His pure, innocent life for our non-innocent life.

[color=#ff0000]Consider the lines from what is considered the Bishop of Hippo's [St Augustine] best book[/color]: "But, what do I love, when I love Thee? Not the prettiness of a body, not the gracefulness rhythm, not the brightness of light (that friend of these eyes), not the sweet melodies of songs in every style, not the fragrance of flowers and ointments and spices, not manna and honey, not limbs which can be grasped in fleshly embraces-these I do not love, when I love my God. Yet I do love something like a light, a voice, an odor, food, embrace of my inner man, wherein for my soul a light shines, and place does not encompass it, where there is a sound which times does not sweep away, where there is a fragrance which the breeze does not disperse, where there is a flavor which eating does not diminish, and where there is a clinging which satiety does not disentwine. This is what I love, when I love my God." Taken from the 10th book of the [i]Confessions. [/i][/b]............".................. [/quote]

If the above is emotional chastity, which I tend to think that it just might be and hope so, then I understand.

Edited July 9, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[4588686]

[quote name='Hubertus' timestamp='1341787254' post='2453632']
If your conception of chastity is just a schoolmarm whacking youngsters with a ruler, then it is the wrong conception.
[/quote]

ok

[beatitude]

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1341754704' post='2453482']
I thought this was a joke. Then I googled 'emotional chastity'. Fantastic. Pleased to see that someone out there is telling young Catholic women about the importance of not merely keeping their legs closed but also their mouths shut around boys.
[/quote]

Chastity shouldn't have anything to do with gender. For me, it is just a natural part of kindness and respect for another person: don't cling on to them, don't use them as a crutch, let them be themselves around you. I do not think it is a difficult concept, but something very simple and natural. As with sex, girls are often singled out as the ideal recipients for people's wonderful wisdom on this topic. I would never even bother to glance at that stuff, any more than I read strictures from guys on 'Mary-like modesty' and how I should be dressing myself. If I want to learn about a good chaste friendship, I look at the friendships Jesus had - he didn't hesitate to go to people when he needed them (look at him in Gethsemane) but he was also perfectly able to sit alone.

Claire is currently going through a very rough time with anxiety and is in a lot of pain physically, with her movement limited by a health condition that has yet to be identified, so I see her concerns in this light. When much of your independence has been lost, you can start to worry a little too much about being dependent on other people.

Claire, you are frightened and unsure right now, and you need some comfort. Don't punish yourself when you reach out for it. Just make sure that the people you reach out to are people who are able to help you. It wouldn't be kind to place all your worries on the shoulders of one person, especially if like you they are only in their early teens. But you have a lot of people to help you now - family, medical professionals, friends - and I am sure they will all do their best for you. I will pray for you.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I'm concerned about this because it makes so much sense with friendships I have lost. I know I have used people as an emotional pillow before as well as had people use me as an emotional pillow before. Plus, I have finally acknowledged that I am an obsessive friend and person in general. I have gone from one friend to another to another. And I am determined to stop this, and not loose more friends like I have because of me. It really doesn't help because I DO need someone with me during this hard time. I have people, thank goodness, but I still worry I use them. So, I've kind of switched off of my drama or their drama, and just started talking about normal stuff, common interests. That has actually been really nice. Sadly, right now I am being used by a few people as an emotional pillow, but at least I understand now. A couple of my friends and I have gotten on the same page about trying to save our friendship by being more emotionally chaste (yay!).

Also, it really hit me when I realized that the person I consider to be my best friend and I have ever only had ONE emotion-related conversation, and that was about her. I was like, "THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE." Sometimes real buddies and not just emotional buddies are really amesome. It's hard to save friendships that began off of emotion, though, luckily, one has been salvageable, because we started over. The others... it's just sad.

Anyway, prayers appreciated, haha...

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

the only one whom belongs inside of you is GOD, don't let anyone get under your skin and don't let anyone have free rent in your mind. Be in the world but not of the world,doesn't mean we can't have friends and such,i am only learning this now. And also a friend in need is a friend in deed, don't sweat it.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1341845112' post='2453892']
Chastity shouldn't have anything to do with gender. For me, it is just a natural part of kindness and respect for another person: don't cling on to them, don't use them as a crutch, let them be themselves around you. I do not think it is a difficult concept, but something very simple and natural. As with sex, girls are often singled out as the ideal recipients for people's wonderful wisdom on this topic. I would never even bother to glance at that stuff, any more than I read strictures from guys on 'Mary-like modesty' and how I should be dressing myself. If I want to learn about a good chaste friendship, I look at the friendships Jesus had - he didn't hesitate to go to people when he needed them (look at him in Gethsemane) but he was also perfectly able to sit alone.

[i][b]Claire is currently going through a very rough time with anxiety and is in a lot of pain physically, with her movement limited by a health condition that has yet to be identified, so I see her concerns in this light. When much of your independence has been lost, you can start to worry a little too much about being dependent on other people.

Claire, you are frightened and unsure right now, and you need some comfort. Don't punish yourself when you reach out for it. Just make sure that the people you reach out to are people who are able to help you. It wouldn't be kind to place all your worries on the shoulders of one person, especially if like you they are only in their early teens. But you have a lot of people to help you now - family, medical professionals, friends - and I am sure they will all do their best for you. I will pray for you.[/b][/i]
[/quote]

I had no idea you were so young, Claire - although I started to suspect that you just might be which largely brought me back to your thread. Early teens is probably a very difficult and confusing time at the best of times, so strive to be gentle and kind to yourself especially if you have health concerns and worries, restrictions, as mentioned in the post above. And an excellent post.
We all probably long for the most perfect, to be the best person that we can be, and that longing is a great virtue in itself - a great blessing of God's Grace. It will flower and grow with ordinary everyday faithfulness and as your journey in life unfolds. Altho if I look back on my early teens, I must have been as confused as confusion can be and often and on many subjects indeed. I am now 66yrs of age and long way down the track and journey from my early teens. It has been a forward and then backward type of journey. Up a few wrong creeks, down a few wrong tracks and all the while learning, changing and growing.
My prayers also.

Edited July 10, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

i get what your talking about now, being more reliant on GOD and less reliant for comfort from other things, to become emotionaly detached while still holding love,faith and hope. Some of the great saints accomplished this, but don't beat yourself up over it to much, GOD has the time if you do to. Knock and the door will be opened,seek and you will find. Persistance bears fruits of hope.Be eager in your desires but patient in there accomplishment. Stupid be thought it was about pillow talk, though that is part of the whole feelings thing to.


But on bad feelings and thoughts,i stand also on what i said, it depends what we do with those feelings, do we dwell on them or do we cry out to the LORD. And somone here said to me once to just remind ourselves about thoughts or feelings that we don't like that we remind ourselves and think or say, "this is only a thought(or feeling) and i need not stress because it will pass in time." Which brings up an old thread 'Does time work for GOD, in this case yes." And also some rebuke these sometimes too, and say or think "begone satan in the name of Jesus you are not welcome to walk with me i belong to GOD." and than an our father if you like and have the time, and with lots of time can add a hail mary and a glory be. hope some of all this may help you that everyone has posted

Edited July 10, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye