Group Discussion: Loving Like Jesus

[Papist]

I have never really sat down and thought why I love as Christ loves...or try to that is. I am not required to like every person, but I believe I am called to love every person. It is easy to love a person I like. Loving the person I don't like is the struggle. I have learn in recent years the closer my relationship with Christ and His Church the easier I am able to do this. Christ through His Church has helped me fight through my pride and feelings to be able to better be selfless and giving of self. I have learned from reading St. Francis de Sales to practice self-abandonment and to forsake myself is nothing else but to give up and surrender my own will, so that I may give it to God. I guess what I am saying is that I love(try to) as Jesus loves by simply by giving of myself for Jesus. This included giving mercy and forgiveness. What helps me is to visualize an example, my father asks me to help his neighbor who I do not like, yet I do b/c my father asked to and I do it for my father. I have to fight through the pride and feelings that the person whom I don't like is gaining from my doing. I apply that thought with loving as Christ does. I know what Christ wants me to do and I do it for Him. I have many opportunities to practice this and I fail miserably. God knows I try and pray for the grace to love better tomorrow than I did today.

[Papist]

[quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1341527707' post='2452658']
I'm struggling with a way to express this, but this basically comes down to a balance between protection and trust.

As sons and daughters of God, how do we protect ourselves and others from hurtful people? or from those trying to take away our dignity?

Love can only develop when we trust another person enough to allow them to become closer to us, but at the same time, the closer someone is, the more they can hurt us. Often, we have trust the person enough to put ourselves in a vulnerable position (whether physically, emotionally, sexually, etc.) to give the person an opportunity to grow more in love and trust.

How can we find that balance?
[/quote]

Trust should be in Christ. If you and Christ are together, you can't be harmed. Think of this. Every where you went Jesus was beside you and with you. Nothing one could do or say could harm you. Imagine the confidence you would have in all you do w/o fear of harm. I can't help but think that the early christian martyrs had such a confidence in Christ.

[morostheos]

I have actually been thinking about this topic a lot lately, and how it applies to my life. Especially the part about being vulnerable in order to truly love. Christ truly loved the apostles, and depended on them and entrusted great responsibility to them, knowing that they would fail him. In order to have fruitful, loving relationships, we need to open ourselves up to certain amounts of vulnerability that are appropriate to each relationship. I know for myself, I tend to try to be independent and not be vulnerable even with my closest friends and family. I am afraid of being let down, but that fear can be paralyzing. The pain of being let down is part of life, but the joy of living in community and communion with true friends and family is so much greater. Exactly how to do this is what I'm currently trying to figure out.

Regarding the idea that Christ let people "walk all over him," I heard a homily recently about the passage where Christ says to turn the other cheek. The priest noted that he didn't say to run away, but to stand your ground without a violent reaction. I would say that is more what Christ did, he didn't let people push him around. He stood his ground and accepted whatever consequences people wanted to create for that stance.

[sixpence]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1341525888' post='2452644']
And there lies the crux -- no pun intended -- of this thread...
[/quote]

I would note that the Passion was a completely different set of circumstances. In this case it would NOT have been better for anyone for Christ to fight back. The Passion showed us ultimate love and also showed Christ's complete love for and trust in the Father. And it Certainly was not a result of Christ being afraid of hurt anyone's feelings. It was a willing sacrifice for a purpose.

I would say this, and the cases of martyrs, is not at all the same as letting someone walk all over you for no reason other than not wanting to offend them or hurt their feelings.

It is still possible to be totally selfless and still want to stand up to a bully, or whatever the case, just for the sake of the bully. Jesus did not rebuke the Pharisees because he didn't want his rep tarnished by them, he did it for their own sake. That is the difference.

[sixpence]

[quote name='morostheos' timestamp='1341544205' post='2452745']
Regarding the idea that Christ let people "walk all over him," I heard a homily recently about the passage where Christ says to turn the other cheek. The priest noted that he didn't say to run away, but to stand your ground without a violent reaction. I would say that is more what Christ did, he didn't let people push him around. He stood his ground and accepted whatever consequences people wanted to create for that stance.
[/quote]

This also forces the attacker to acknowledge they are attacking someone who is not going to retaliate in the same way, which suddenly reduces how tough they look slapping you.

[Papist]

How can we say we love God who we can't see, when we don't love our neighbor whom we can see.

[Jaime]

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1341585314' post='2452850']
I would note that the Passion was a completely different set of circumstances. In this case it would NOT have been better for anyone for Christ to fight back. The Passion showed us ultimate love and also showed Christ's complete love for and trust in the Father. And it Certainly was not a result of Christ being afraid of hurt anyone's feelings. It was a willing sacrifice for a purpose.

I would say this, and the cases of martyrs, is not at all the same as letting someone walk all over you for no reason other than not wanting to offend them or hurt their feelings.

It is still possible to be totally selfless and still want to stand up to a bully, or whatever the case, just for the sake of the bully. Jesus did not rebuke the Pharisees because he didn't want his rep tarnished by them, he did it for their own sake. That is the difference.
[/quote]

But I would submit that "letting someone walk all over you" so as to not hurt their feelings isn't love at all. I think there are a lot of things that get confused with love but aren't actually love.