Do I Need To Confess These?

[EmilyAnn]

I've been putting of going to Confession for ages because I just couldn't figure out whether this was a sin. Basically, I don't have a TV in my house so I watch TV shows online. Some of them I watch from the channel websites so that's legitimate. But there are some that I watched on just random video sites, things like videobb and stuff I'd find on SideReel. I didn't download anything, I just watched the videos. Is watching TV shows through sites like that sinful? My instinct tells me there's a copyright violation in there somewhere but I don't know if that's on the part of the uploader or me as the viewer or if I'm complicit by being a viewer. So basically was watching these TV shows a sin?

The other thing only happened the other day. I have a male acquaintance who cross-dresses, I don't know him particularly well. I'd never seen him wearing female clothes before until my friendship group went out for drinks the other night. I don't approve of such things but I didn't say anything because it seemed inappropriate and really none of my business. We were just chatting and we were talking about how he bought shoes and I said I liked the boots he was wearing. This guy is over 6 feet tall so you can imagine regular sized women's shoes don't fit, I was just curious. I didn't really think about it at the time but did I commit a sin by seemingly approving of his cross-dressing? What kind of sin would that even be, I'm not sure? Scandal perhaps?

I'm planning on going to Confession tomorrow but these two things are really bugging me as to whether they need confessing.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1340412567' post='2447676']
I've been putting of going to Confession for ages because I just couldn't figure out whether this was a sin. Basically, I don't have a TV in my house so I watch TV shows online. Some of them I watch from the channel websites so that's legitimate. But there are some that I watched on just random video sites, things like videobb and stuff I'd find on SideReel. I didn't download anything, I just watched the videos. Is watching TV shows through sites like that sinful? My instinct tells me there's a copyright violation in there somewhere but I don't know if that's on the part of the uploader or me as the viewer or if I'm complicit by being a viewer. So basically was watching these TV shows a sin?

The other thing only happened the other day. I have a male acquaintance who cross-dresses, I don't know him particularly well. I'd never seen him wearing female clothes before until my friendship group went out for drinks the other night. I don't approve of such things but I didn't say anything because it seemed inappropriate and really none of my business. We were just chatting and we were talking about how he bought shoes and I said I liked the boots he was wearing. This guy is over 6 feet tall so you can imagine regular sized women's shoes don't fit, I was just curious. I didn't really think about it at the time but did I commit a sin by seemingly approving of his cross-dressing? What kind of sin would that even be, I'm not sure? Scandal perhaps?

I'm planning on going to Confession tomorrow but these two things are really bugging me as to whether they need confessing.
[/quote]

For the first thing I would say no. You aren't sure about it and therefore it cannot constitute as a Mortal sin. As Father Vincent Serpa, O.P., told me: If you are unsure if you committed a Mortal sin, you didn't. Mortal sin requires absolute certainty. It might be a bad thing and I would check with somebody that might know, but for the time being you are okay. On the second thing definitely not. As you said, you didn't really think about it at the time. I was terribly scrupulous for a while and I think you are showing signs of at least mild scrupulosity. I would recommend getting everything under control before it possibly flares and you start thinking listening to Weird Al music is a Mortal sin. Oh, the good ol' days...

[BG45]

What he said. You didn't really meet the criteria for mortal sin in my opinion in either case. In the first, if they're on websites, they can be taken down with a complaint by the copyright holder. It happens all the time with YouTube. On the second, it was just a harmless question, it definitely wasn't asked with full knowledge of how it could be misinterpreted.

I have a gay friend whose ex-boyfriend recently died. I went to the funeral home to tell him that he was in my prayers; that doesn't necessarily mean that I approve of his relationships (and he knows that) but it did show that I care about his well being.

You could still talk to your priest about both things though if it would make you feel better? I know when I find myself asking "should I confess this" I often do, but preface it with, "and I'm not really sure if this counts, but..." and usually the priest will give an opinion after.

[MissyP89]

Re: the crossdresser, I don't think you were condoning his actions. No one expects you to walk up to him and declare that what he's doing is wrong. That sort of thing may be the right course of action at some point, but it depends on circumstance and frankly speaking up could do more harm for his soul than good right now. Pray for him. You would only be condoning his actions if you, say, complimented his outfit or bought him women's clothing.

Hope that helps.

[EmilyAnn]

FP you are right, I am slightly scrupulous, sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse. But I get worried that I've forgotten a sin and that if I don't confess it then I won't be absolved.

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1340421704' post='2447738']
Re: the crossdresser, I don't think you were condoning his actions. No one expects you to walk up to him and declare that what he's doing is wrong. That sort of thing may be the right course of action at some point, but it depends on circumstance and frankly speaking up could do more harm for his soul than good right now. Pray for him. You would only be condoning his actions if you, say, complimented his outfit or bought him women's clothing.
[/quote]

But I did say I liked his shoes. I didn't really think about it until after I said it. So would that be something I'd need to confess?

[Slappo]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1340443442' post='2447837']
But I did say I liked his shoes. I didn't really think about it until after I said it. So would that be something I'd need to confess?
[/quote]


NO!

[BG45]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1340443442' post='2447837']
But I did say I liked his shoes. I didn't really think about it until after I said it. So would that be something I'd need to confess?
[/quote]
As Slappo said "NO!". If nothing else "I didn't really think about it" shows that you didn't have the intent needed for it to be a mortal sin.

[mantellata]

There is not enough matter here for a mortal sin anyway..... but I think Emily Ann was just asking if it was a sin...... which of course doesn't [i]need[/i] to be confessed anyway.

Best thing when you are wondering is just to ask your confessor the same way you asked on this board. He is going to be way more helpful in directing a sensitive conscience then any of us here.

Also -- I don't see how liking your friends shoes condones his lifestyle.... just his shoes (he may have good taste!) If he asked you directly about his lifestyle - well then you would need to be honest - come what may - though speaking from a compassionate heart would help. Just hanging out with him means that you are fostering a friendship - which could lead to an evangelistic opportunity at a later moment. He will be more receptive to the truth from a caring friend than a judging acquaintence. A good rule of thumb I always use is - will my speech make any difference? Also what kind of responsibility do I have towards this person? You aren't attending his wedding to another guy, you are not his mother.... nor a super close friend. He will likely still cross dress whether you talk to him or not.

Edited June 23, 2012 by mantellata

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1340486378' post='2448007'] Best thing when you are wondering is just to ask your confessor the same way you asked on this board. He is going to be way more helpful in directing a sensitive conscience then any of us here.
[/quote]


[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1340443442' post='2447837']
But I did say I liked his shoes. I didn't really think about it until after I said it. So would that be something I'd need to confess?
[/quote]

I would also say "NO". You can like someone's clothing without condoning their behaviour. As others have mentioned, I think it would become a serious problem if you had some kind or responsibility for or moral duty towards them. It would probably be best to seek some guidance from a priest.

Edited June 23, 2012 by Spem in alium