A Couple Of Questions.

[Spem in alium]

So today I decided to commit more to my discernment now that I'm on holidays and have more time. Initially, I didn't come across many communities and there didn't seem to be a lot in my area...but there are actually about 10 convents near me, and a Marist Missionary convent on my street Seriously soooo thrilled!

I'm very happy about this, but still have a couple of questions that I was seeking help with.

[b]1. Does anyone know much or anything about the Sisters of Nazareth?[/b]

There's a community nearby, and I found myself particularly taken with their mission and charism. Plus they wear quite a neat and nice habit - for some reason I'm really attracted to sisters who wear habits Do they have a good reputation? (I ask because I read a few critical and negative articles on them).

[b]2. How certain should a person be about their vocation or about a particular community before they make contact with the sisters?[/b]

This is the big one for me. I am seriously the most unsure person ever. Thinking about religious life does fill me with this amazing peace, and I know I want to give my life to God in whatever way I can, but I still feel so unworthy and hesitant. I always saw myself getting married and am quite sure I'm romantically attracted to someone I know, but nowadays I see myself more and more as a nun and a Bride of Christ. I don't know if that means anything or if it's just fantasy or dreaming. I'm going to be in the US later this year and am planning to visit some Carmelite sisters in LA who sound really great and welcoming. At least that's something. I have talked to a few priests and gotten a lot of help from them, but I do feel as though I should be talking to some sisters. My real concern is that I'm worried about committing or getting too involved in things when I'm still unsure about my calling. All I have to go on is the peace I feel, the desire to be with God, the desire to commit to faith...and I really wonder if that's even enough to go on.

Any help or guidance would be so great. Thanks guys! God bless!

[OnlySunshine]

[b]How certain should a person be about their vocation or about a particular community before they make contact with the sisters?[/b]

Honestly, no one can be 100% sure of their vocation until they make final vows. Sometimes, you just have to be brave like Peter and step out of the boat into the unknown otherwise you'll wind up a perpetual discerner.

You honestly only need to be curious about a community to initiate contact. No sane vocation director would expect that a discerner knows exactly where they are called. It is a learning process. I've been on 4 vocation retreats -- all of them different -- and I learned things about myself that I probably would have never known if I hadn't gone. I knew I wasn't called on 3 of the 4 retreats. The 2nd community I ever visited ended up offering me an application even though I should have known I wasn't ready and it wasn't the right place for me.

Take everything as it comes. Discernment is listening to the desires of your heart and praying to hear God's will. The final step is acting on it.

Hope this helps!

[TheresaThoma]

Well I don't know about the first question but I can give you some advice about the second. Talking to sisters doesn't mean you are committing to anything. Most communities are completely understanding that people start talking with them at various stages of discernment. I was on a discernment retreat and one of the girls was pretty sure at the beginning of the retreat that she was called to marriage but was going on the retreat to just explore the option of religious life. By the end of the retreat she realized she really is called to marriage and was completely at peace with that. I don't think she would have gained that without going on that retreat. So go ahead contact a community or two, it will help you discover where you are truly called to.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1340165811' post='2446602']
[b]How certain should a person be about their vocation or about a particular community before they make contact with the sisters?[/b]

Honestly, no one can be 100% sure of their vocation until they make final vows. Sometimes, you just have to be brave like Peter and step out of the boat into the unknown otherwise you'll wind up a perpetual discerner.

You honestly only need to be curious about a community to initiate contact. No sane vocation director would expect that a discerner knows exactly where they are called. It is a learning process. I've been on 4 vocation retreats -- all of them different -- and I learned things about myself that I probably would have never known if I hadn't gone. I knew I wasn't called on 3 of the 4 retreats. The 2nd community I ever visited ended up offering me an application even though I should have known I wasn't ready and it wasn't the right place for me.

Take everything as it comes. Discernment is listening to the desires of your heart and praying to hear God's will. The final step is acting on it.

Hope this helps!
[/quote]

Thanks Mater, you really helped so much I know deep down that I can't really be sure, but I'm just one of those people who plans for everything and needs to be certain about life. It goes against my nature to be discerning this

I never really thought much about Peter like that, I think he's a great example

Another problem I have is that I don't know if my feelings are simply my own or God implanting His Will into my heart. It's hard for me to separate an understanding of my own desires from what He could be telling me. I know He's there and watching over me, but I guess I just have trouble hearing Him.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1340166261' post='2446606']
Well I don't know about the first question but I can give you some advice about the second. Talking to sisters doesn't mean you are committing to anything. Most communities are completely understanding that people start talking with them at various stages of discernment. I was on a discernment retreat and one of the girls was pretty sure at the beginning of the retreat that she was called to marriage but was going on the retreat to just explore the option of religious life. By the end of the retreat she realized she really is called to marriage and was completely at peace with that. I don't think she would have gained that without going on that retreat. So go ahead contact a community or two, it will help you discover where you are truly called to.
[/quote]

Thank you for your great help. Exploring options sounds like something I should be doing. One of the priests I spoke to told me that I should wait a few years before talking to communities, but it's just too strong a desire or thought for me to wait that long. I know I need to be patient, but I feel so strongly about my faith and about my future in faith. I feel so alive and so calm when I'm in Adoration, in Mass, participating in the Sacraments, and unfortunately my involvement in church life has dwindled recently. I went to Benediction last week for the first time in ages and realised just how much I'd missed it. I really hope that now I'm on holidays I can spend more time researching, learning and praying.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1340167030' post='2446614']
Thanks Mater, you really helped so much I know deep down that I can't really be sure, but I'm just one of those people who plans for everything and needs to be certain about life. It goes against my nature to be discerning this

I never really thought much about Peter like that, I think he's a great example

Another problem I have is that I don't know if my feelings are simply my own or God implanting His Will into my heart. It's hard for me to separate an understanding of my own desires from what He could be telling me. I know He's there and watching over me, but I guess I just have trouble hearing Him.
[/quote]

I know exactly how you feel because I often experienced the same thing when I was discerning with other communities. There were times where I'd foolishly go to a website for an order, fall in love with what I read about them, and then think I'd end up there even though I'd never made a visit or talked to the VD. I can laugh about it now, but it was immature back then. The only way you can know God's will is to take some risks in your discernment. I hate talking on the phone, but it was the best way to make contact with the Superior of the order I am in contact with now. I get so nervous and clam up, but this was much different because I'd talked to her in person thanks to my pastor introducing us.

St. Peter is an amesome saint and I relate to him so well. I think I'd be frightened, too, if I saw Jesus walking towards the boat on stormy water and He asked me to step out and walk towards Him. But really, that's what discernment is all about. If you remain in the boat, you'll never get to walk towards Him and discover how incredible it is to serve Him in religious life.

The best thing you can do right now is to contact those religious communities that you are interested in. Forget what you read online about the Sisters of Nazareth and take everything with a grain of salt. Most of the time, secular media blows everything out of proportion and they are all about attacking the Church right now. Sisters of Nazareth is a community listed on IRL and CMSWR -- both of which are known for listing good communities.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1340168754' post='2446621']
I know exactly how you feel because I often experienced the same thing when I was discerning with other communities. There were times where I'd foolishly go to a website for an order, fall in love with what I read about them, and then think I'd end up there even though I'd never made a visit or talked to the VD. I can laugh about it now, but it was immature back then, [/quote]

That is exactly what I've been doing, short of thinking I'll end up there. I'm most interested in about four orders and am hoping to look into a few more. Researching things online is so easy and accessible, but it can take us away from reality a bit. I guess the only way to really learn about something or someone is to get to know them first-hand

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae']The only way you can know God's will is to take some risks in your discernment. I hate talking on the phone, but it was the best way to make contact with the Superior of the order I am in contact with now. I get so nervous and clam up, but this was much different because I'd talked to her in person thanks to my pastor introducing us.

St. Peter is an amesome saint and I relate to him so well. I think I'd be frightened, too, if I saw Jesus walking towards the boat on stormy water and He asked me to step out and walk towards Him. But really, that's what discernment is all about. If you remain in the boat, you'll never get to walk towards Him and discover how incredible it is to serve Him in religious life.

The best thing you can do right now is to contact those religious communities that you are interested in. Forget what you read online about the Sisters of Nazareth and take everything with a grain of salt. Most of the time, secular media blows everything out of proportion and they are all about attacking the Church right now. Sisters of Nazareth is a community listed on IRL and CMSWR -- both of which are known for listing good communities.
[/quote]

Thank you so much for all your help, it really means a lot. It might be silly, but I'm really nervous about contacting the communities. There's just so much uncertainty...but I really agree with what you say about taking risks. I can see how necessary they are
I'm leaving the country in a couple of months, but I think it will be great to try and contact some places before then, potentially visit them and try and discern a bit more deeply. I've learnt that it's so important to be patient and to trust God. Doing that makes discernment a joyful time for me rather than a stressful one I know God has a plan for my life, I just need to ask and wait for Him to reveal it.

[maximillion]

I agree with others, go ahead, ask ask ask - this is what discernment is, and how can you make any decision if you don't have the fullest information possible.
Remember too that this is a process - there may be some who 'know' for certain and sure but I think they are in a tiny minority. Most of us are stumbling about almost in the dark, certainly in relation to really knowing ourselves, and as pointed out, this is a voyage of discovery about YOU and not only about a potential community.

I looked at the Sisters website and they seem like a lovely Order......

[Gemma]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1340162074' post='2446582']
So today I decided to commit more to my discernment now that I'm on holidays and have more time. Initially, I didn't come across many communities and there didn't seem to be a lot in my area...but there are actually about 10 convents near me, and a Marist Missionary convent on my street Seriously soooo thrilled!

I'm very happy about this, but still have a couple of questions that I was seeking help with.

[b]1. Does anyone know much or anything about the Sisters of Nazareth?[/b]

There's a community nearby, and I found myself particularly taken with their mission and charism. Plus they wear quite a neat and nice habit - for some reason I'm really attracted to sisters who wear habits Do they have a good reputation? (I ask because I read a few critical and negative articles on them).

[b]2. How certain should a person be about their vocation or about a particular community before they make contact with the sisters?[/b]

This is the big one for me. I am seriously the most unsure person ever. Thinking about religious life does fill me with this amazing peace, and I know I want to give my life to God in whatever way I can, but I still feel so unworthy and hesitant. I always saw myself getting married and am quite sure I'm romantically attracted to someone I know, but nowadays I see myself more and more as a nun and a Bride of Christ. I don't know if that means anything or if it's just fantasy or dreaming. I'm going to be in the US later this year and am planning to visit some Carmelite sisters in LA who sound really great and welcoming. At least that's something. I have talked to a few priests and gotten a lot of help from them, but I do feel as though I should be talking to some sisters. My real concern is that I'm worried about committing or getting too involved in things when I'm still unsure about my calling. All I have to go on is the peace I feel, the desire to be with God, the desire to commit to faith...and I really wonder if that's even enough to go on.

Any help or guidance would be so great. Thanks guys! God bless!
[/quote]

If a man is truly interested in a woman, she won't be able to get rid of him. So, don't worry about a relationship with a human until that happens.

The Sisters of Nazareth are lovely, and follow the Rule of St. Augustine. Are you attracted to that rule?

Be sure to ask the convents in your locality which Rule they follow, and make notes about what attracts and what repels. Both are equally important. We don't stand in judgement of the groups, either, we say, "I appreciate what you're doing, but that's not for me."

Voc directors are used to discerners coming in and being completely dumbfounded. Just hang out, observe, and soak in the Lord's presence.

Blessings,
Gemma

Edited June 20, 2012 by Gemma

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1340180875' post='2446629']
That is exactly what I've been doing, short of thinking I'll end up there. I'm most interested in about four orders and am hoping to look into a few more. Researching things online is so easy and accessible, but it can take us away from reality a bit. I guess the only way to really learn about something or someone is to get to know them first-hand



Thank you so much for all your help, it really means a lot. It might be silly, but I'm really nervous about contacting the communities. There's just so much uncertainty...but I really agree with what you say about taking risks. I can see how necessary they are
I'm leaving the country in a couple of months, but I think it will be great to try and contact some places before then, potentially visit them and try and discern a bit more deeply. I've learnt that it's so important to be patient and to trust God. Doing that makes discernment a joyful time for me rather than a stressful one I know God has a plan for my life, I just need to ask and wait for Him to reveal it.
[/quote]

You're welcome! I often fell into the trap of wanting to know everything there was about the community I was discerning with because I thought if I knew it all then I'd be able to make a decision. It turns out, it was my way of putting God in a box again and I needed to relinquish my control. His voice can be so quiet that we drown Him out with our own thoughts or external noise. I decided, since I trust my pastor very well, I would only find out the most important stuff so I asked about their apostolate and if they would accept someone like me with medication needs. I don't need to know anymore than that. Personal hygiene and home visits are something I'll find out about when I have the acceptance letter in hand.

I absolutely agree that contacting religious communities is just a little bit frightening, but once you make that phone call, write the email, letter, or visit in person, you'll start feeling more comfortable and it won't scare you as much. Satan wants very much to keep us away from religious life so he'll try to inspire all sorts of doubts and fears to keep you away. Say a "Hail Mary" and ask our Blessed Mother to keep you from getting nervous. I did this on my last phone call and it really seemed to help. All the best!

[Spem in alium]

You guys are all so [i]great.[/i]Seriously, thanks so much. I would never have had the foggiest idea of how to do anything, and your words have really relaxed and guided me.


[quote name='maximillion' timestamp='1340183882' post='2446630']
I agree with others, go ahead, ask ask ask - this is what discernment is, and how can you make any decision if you don't have the fullest information possible.
Remember too that this is a process - there may be some who 'know' for certain and sure but I think they are in a tiny minority. Most of us are stumbling about almost in the dark, certainly in relation to really knowing ourselves, and as pointed out, this is a voyage of discovery about YOU and not only about a potential community.

I looked at the Sisters website and they seem like a lovely Order......
[/quote]

The thing is (and it's kind of weird), I know in theory that I can't be certain and that I need to trust in God, but when I need to put it into practice I struggle a bit.
I've definitely discovered a lot about myself. I've discovered a passion for God and to serve others that I never felt before. Priests and nuns inspire me now, and they never used to really. I know that I want to help people live a better life in closeness to God. These things aren't only possible for religious, I know, but to me religious life seems like the pinnacle of all lives I could possibly lead. To dedicate every moment of every day to God, to enter into a deep union with Christ...just blows me away so much. I just want to sacrifice and offer myself and my life to God, but the main difficulty for me is working out how.
Thanks for your help, you gave me much to think about.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Gemma' timestamp='1340185603' post='2446633']
If a man is truly interested in a woman, she won't be able to get rid of him. So, don't worry about a relationship with a human until that happens.

The Sisters of Nazareth are lovely, and follow the Rule of St. Augustine. Are you attracted to that rule?

Be sure to ask the convents in your locality which Rule they follow, and make notes about what attracts and what repels. Both are equally important. We don't stand in judgement of the groups, either, we say, "I appreciate what you're doing, but that's not for me."

Voc directors are used to discerners coming in and being completely dumbfounded. Just hang out, observe, and soak in the Lord's presence.

Blessings,
Gemma
[/quote]

Thanks, Gemma I want to make my relationship with God stronger before I focus too deeply on my relationships with others. It just felt like a difficulty; to have this growing relationship with someone and feel called to deepening it romantically, but at the same time desiring to give myself to God completely and unreservedly.
To be honest, I know very little about Rules. I am quite interested in the Rule of St. Benedict though. St. Augustine does inspire me. I'll research his teachings further. I've visited a few websites and not all the communities express what Rule they follow. I will make a point to ask them.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1340205203' post='2446698']
You're welcome! I often fell into the trap of wanting to know everything there was about the community I was discerning with because I thought if I knew it all then I'd be able to make a decision. It turns out, it was my way of putting God in a box again and I needed to relinquish my control. His voice can be so quiet that we drown Him out with our own thoughts or external noise. I decided, since I trust my pastor very well, I would only find out the most important stuff so I asked about their apostolate and if they would accept someone like me with medication needs. I don't need to know anymore than that. Personal hygiene and home visits are something I'll find out about when I have the acceptance letter in hand.

I absolutely agree that contacting religious communities is just a little bit frightening, but once you make that phone call, write the email, letter, or visit in person, you'll start feeling more comfortable and it won't scare you as much. Satan wants very much to keep us away from religious life so he'll try to inspire all sorts of doubts and fears to keep you away. Say a "Hail Mary" and ask our Blessed Mother to keep you from getting nervous. I did this on my last phone call and it really seemed to help. All the best!
[/quote]

Great advice I often forget how much Our Lady can help. I think it's so important to let God lead us, and sometimes I do find myself trying to push things along instead of just being patient and knowing He's guiding me somehow. Thank you! Things are really falling into place - in a couple of weeks there's going to be a big expo in the city on vocations! Hopefully I can make it and learn a lot