Life In Community

[maximillion]

This is an aspect I continue to miss even after all this time.

For those sisters living in community, for those who have been on live - ins or who have tried it, what is it that makes it so special?

For those discerning - what do you think communal life adds?

[Gemma_Kateri]

Religious life is hard and involves many sacrifices, so I think community adds a much needed support system. I think as humans we are made to be in communion with others and that is how we thrive. This is especially true for women, who seek emotional intimacy with other women.

Also, on a deeper level, the main point of religious life is to give a glimpse of heaven and to imitate the life of Christ. Christ is part of a communion of persons and in heaven we will all be in perfect communion with each other. So it makes sense that religious should live in community.

[maximillion]

For me it was one of the major sources of joy.

[srmariam]

Community is both the best and the worst part of religious life. Your sisters support you and also drive you mad too!

[Safia]

My experience living in community was my 3.5-week aspirancy within a contemplative monastery, and I loved it. I've been out 50-some hours (LOL), and my heart misses every single sister in the community dearly -- there is something incredibly beautiful about a life in rhythm, a life centered on the same person, the same Trinity, every day. A community as such recognizes that it does, in fact, consist of true sisters, sisters in Christ, and thus our bond for each other, our love for each other . . . well, its intensity was amazing and life-giving and joyful.

I miss the charity we expressed. I miss the corrections, because I could see the ways in which Christ was purifying me and the others, constantly; always asking us to be humble and virtuous.

There is nothing like it. Even if someone doesn't have a vocation, I think this should be asked of everyone. I learned more about myself in relation to other people than I ever have in the outside world.

[AveMariaPurissima]

When I'm with my Sisters, there is intense joy because I know that I'm part of a family. The moment when I began to feel, "these are [i]my[/i] sisters; this is [i]my[/i] family" was a very significant one in my discernment. To borrow/paraphrase Pope Benedict's words in [i]Spe Salvi[/i], with my Sisters I feel that I'm "known, loved, and awaited." My Sisters have given me support, help me learn how to live religious life, they're patient with me (thus helping me to be patient with myself, which is something I struggle with quite a lot.) I have two brothers, but no sisters, and as I was growing up, there were times I really wished I had sisters. God is so good -- now I have fifty-some of them!

[mantellata]

Joy of community: Charity demands a neighbor -- it is easy to convince oneself that you are growing in charity when it is just you and God -- when you must love your neighbor -- well the proof is in the pudding as they say!

It also is one of the most beautiful and strengthening things in the world.

[cmaD2006]

The best description I have about community life is: it is akin to two rocks rubbing constantly against each other. Each ends up becoming nice, smooth, and polished.

Someone said that she misses the charity. I think the biggest challenge to community life *is* the fact that each one of us is human with a tendency towards sin. That means -- there may be a day where you are not treated charitably, or with love, and you have to work on responding in love.

It also means having to accept your fellow sister as she is, warts and all. And learning to love her in spite of her actions and way of being.

In one community, I remember I had a very tough time dealing with one particular sister. She was sort of "rough" with me, almost to a meanness level. When I left, I had the pleasure of being with her during a training program. The beautiful part was the reconcilliation that occurred -- I mentioned something like needing to work out some of the wounds that occurred in community, and she actually said "I hope I wasn't one of the ones who hurt you." I responded honestly, to which she responded with an apology and with an admission that she isn't easy to deal with.

*That* is community living (although this encountered happened once I left). To be able to get to a place where you can understand where your fellow sister is coming from, and accept it. That allows you to live in peace and love.

[emmaberry]

I have not lived in community YET, but it is the part I am both dreading and so excited for when I do find my community--mostly because this is how I've been told I should feel by nuns I have spoken with!

At first this made me sad, because who wants to walk into something knowing how hard it will be, and how many sacrifices you will have to make to respond in charity to someone who rubs you the wrong way? At first, it made me second guess religious life--"Can I really do that?" ESPECIALLY as a cloistered nun, where, unlike active sisters, you cannot 'get out of the house' so to speak. That one sister who gets on your nerves is going to be a couple rooms over, or right in front of your face, for your whole life. There is no escape!

Also, one of the main reasons someone and I have conflict is because they don't understand me because of my catholic faith/desire to be a nun. In the convent, everyone is of like mind concerning their love and zeal for Jesus and His Gospel. I am not saying people don't rub each other the wrong way, but the things people disagree over are often trivial when they have the common foundation of Jesus!

(Note: I am NOT saying nuns make more sacrifices than Sisters--no way! The sacrifices active Sisters offer up in their outside apostolates, nuns offer up in charity to each other and penance inside the cloister. Just wanted to make that clear!)

[maximillion]

We didn't have a chapter of faults, but if we had I think maybe I would have been accusing myself in relation to Charity for my sisters quite frequently.

[BarbTherese]

I do miss the support one's community can be ........and since I now regard every person I meet as a member of my community, I can be regularly rubbed the wrong way and probably rub the wrong way myself. I try to apply all I learnt in religious life re community and living harmoniously (striving for virtuously) to anyone I meet.

But in religious life, everything happened on time and the feast days and seasons came and went with due preparation, celebration and hidden preparation for the next important day, season, whatever it was. The bells told me where I should be at what time and without prethought. I neverhad to worry about preparing meals, or answering doorbells or the phone. Grocery shopping and bill payment were someone else's responsibility in religious life. In religious life, I had my duties with no overloads as now. Nowadays and in the secular community as a lay person, feastdays suddenly crop up totally unexpectedly because I have been occupied on previous days - and my mobile alarm will suddenly go off and I know it is prayer time, just as someone knocks on the front door. Or I can be at prayer and someone knocks - and invariably almost it happens. And my way of life at this point in a relatively new(shifted Sept. 09 and not my choice) residence, is probably 80% at least less distracted than at my previous address. And that one person who continually rubs me the wrong way with anti Catholic statements often, lives in the unit next door and came over for coffee again today when I was in the middle of a load of ironing (take in ironing twice weekly for some extra income) - so I entertained her as I finished the load. I made a phone call for her which was a long one - she has had a laryngectomy and a voice prosethsis recently inserted but it will take time, practise and muscle strength, before she will have her own voice. A very painful suffering for a very intelligent woman in her seventies who had led an active and community orientated life and is now beset with more than a few life problems and illnesses as well as physical impairments. God is Great and He is Good, she is now reading simple Catholic spiritual books I am sharing with her - and she is still making anti Catholic statements .......LOL .............. time, patience and God's Abundant Grace and His Will, whatever He May Will.

For unknown reasons humanly speaking, I would not change my lot with anyone in religious life, simply because I do not have a religious vocation - a call to serve God within religious life. And when God calls, He provides all that is necessary, including Peace, Joy and fulfillment, even in the most distracted often of living.

Edited June 6, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[Sister Marie]

My favorite part of living in community is the intense experience of being a part of the Body of Christ. I am constantly being enriched by the diversity of thoughts, opinions, and works of the other sisters. While each of us has the charism of our community alive within them it is lived out in a unique way in each of us and I think that only together, with each unique expression, are we truly an image of Christ for the world.

I love navigating life with them - even and especially the mundane things. Our unity comes very little from what we wear and where we live and much more from our daily interaction with one another. I love making decisions FOR the good of community. I don't consider them sacrifices when I have to give something up for the good of community - it's for my good too! We make decisions together, pray together, and work together. There is a spirit of laughter and joy and quickness to forgive and seek forgiveness. There is friendship among us. There is loyalty even to those sisters who do not suit us individually. There is respect for one another - for our space, our time, and our gifts and weaknesses.

I love being silent in Chapel together knowing that it is each sisters choice to be there at that time and that God is looking upon each of us in the same way - waiting to pour out his love into each of our hearts and to inflame that spirit we share.

I love that community living isn't perfect and that there are always opportunities for more growth, development, and virtue to be practiced. I love that there isn't a rule book that says "In community, if A happens do B." Every situation is different and each sister is different and it calls forth self-gift and charity - it calls us to practice Jesus' Law of Love.

[Strictlyinkblot]

I can imagine for me that community life will be both a great joy and a challenge. I'm very bad at asking for help, I want to get on with things on my own. But to be able to talk about Jesus and pray together... That would be wonderful. I'd probably drive some of the sisters crazy. On my live in I discovered just how much I fidget when trying to sit still for prayer. I'll be like the nun who drove St. Therese crazy with her clacking sound during meditation

[OnlySunshine]

I spent about 3 or 4 days with the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal and I loved each and every moment I spent with them. Unfortunately, I discerned that God was not calling me to their order, but it is an experience I will never forget. They were 100% joyful and so familial in recreation. Their recreation was round-the-table discussion and laughter during all meals. Sr. Francis told me at the end of the weekend that she wondered why I didn't say much during recreation and I tried to explain that I was more interested in listening to what the Sisters had to say because they were amesome! She didn't understand that, unfortunately, and thought I was too shy!

I am really looking forward to living in a community that shares a common goal -- to grow in perfection of the Beatitudes and to be brides of Jesus Christ. The time that I have spent with the Sisters of the community I am hoping to join in the future has helped me gain insight into their lives. They are so joyful and love to share with others. One of my favorite Sisters became friends with me on Facebook and I already feel a connection with her -- like she is my Sister already. They hold the belief that one Sister's family is the whole order's family and she told me to tell my mom, whom she spoke with on her last visit to our parish, that she said "hello." I feel so blessed to be an aspirant to an order that cares about family.

Edited June 6, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae