BigJon16 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 (edited) [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1340150282' post='2446479'] Not sure talking to god is going to make me feel any better. I've been talking to him for 2 weeks and it seems like it just gets worse. Pretty sure I broke my hand or knuckle on the cement wall outside my building. I love her and even now, I want to be with her and make things right. What the hell is the matter with me [/quote] Iron must be put through the hottest of furnaces in order to be forged into the sharpest of swords. Still praying for you guys, hermano. Edited June 20, 2012 by BigJon16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 If you need to yell at God, He is a big enough guy to handle it. And if you can't even manage that, we'll keep up the prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1340150282' post='2446479'] Not sure talking to god is going to make me feel any better. I've been talking to him for 2 weeks and it seems like it just gets worse. Pretty sure I broke my hand or knuckle on the cement wall outside my building. I love her and even now, I want to be with her and make things right. What the hell is the matter with me [/quote] Nothing is the matter with you. Love isn't a switch you can turn on and off. Things like this never resolve overnight or even in the course of a few days. Two weeks in pretty short in the greater scheme of things--it's a lot of suffering while you're going through it, no doubt about that, it totally blows, but you need more time to heal. If you don't feel like you can pray right now, just know that you've got a heck of a lot of other people who can and are interceding on your behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1340139684' post='2446429'] She cheated That's what started all this I caught her. Jesus [/quote] wow, kujo, I wish i knew what to say, you have so much piled on you right now. Praying anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Oh, honey. ******hugs****** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Praying, man. We all are. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Praying takes practice, man. When you're in pain, it makes re-establishing a relationship with God much harder or much easier. it sounds like you're having a hard time of it, and that's okay for now. You're out of practice, so we're hitting our knees (figuratively speaking) right now for you until your relationship with God is re-established. We love you & we've got your back. You just keep crying out to Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1340150282' post='2446479'] I love her and even now, I want to be with her and make things right. What the hell is the matter with me [/quote] Nah. Lots of people would bail. Or worse, get revenge by doing the same. Sure there's plenty wrong with you , but you sticking it out is an admirable course of action. I will pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the171 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 So many prayers. So many prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 [quote name='kujo' timestamp='1340150282' post='2446479'] Not sure talking to god is going to make me feel any better. I've been talking to him for 2 weeks and it seems like it just gets worse. Pretty sure I broke my hand or knuckle on the cement wall outside my building. I love her and even now, I want to be with her and make things right. What the hell is the matter with me [/quote] After what you have described, I think what you are experiencing./feeling is normal. I hope you don't feel alone in all this. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Kuj...how you doin, dude? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Prayers man, nothing is the matter with you at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 dont beat yourself up kujo [img]http://i.imgur.com/4xXjI.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Kujo, Just realized there have been some additional posts, and I've read-up on what I have missed. I have had some stuff going on in my world, too, but I haven't stopped praying for either of you..... God gets it when we are peeved, grumpy, angry, sad, and just plain pissed. He made, he knows us better than we do. God is big enough to handle you being honest with him. If we can love you.... and want to hold you.... how much more One who knows you both so well. Be strong and take it one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 I have never felt such a convoluted mixture of feelings. I am so deeply sad and hurt, angry and confused, hopeless and shocked. It's the worst cocktail I've ever tasted. I'm trying to get us through this. The monetary situation is of particular prescience, as bills are due and every penny is coming out of my wallet. Thankfully it will all be paid, on time or early, as usual. But not much else is left. The next 2 weeks will be absurdly tight. We've talked and talked and talked. She feels awful. To elaborate a bit on what happened, she met a guy when she was out with her friends a few months back and kissed him a bit. She continued to see him but didn't...do anything, with him. I guess I can be grateful for that, though I don't know how much comfort to take in the fact that it was more an emotional connection than a physical one. I had suspected something was up for a few weeks, but fought it off as my own insecurities acting up. On Tuesday I just couldnt take it anymore and I checked her phone. There was texts and FB messages that confirmed my worst fears. Obviously I flipped out. I don't know how to weather this storm. Despite it all, I want to be with her, and she wants to be with me. I really think this is all part of the same problem that led to the big meltdown--she is profoundly depressed and needs help. That doesn't excuse the awful thing she did to me, but it at least properly contextualizes it. As I alluded to earlier, funds for this help are low at this point, but we're trying to find something. There's a Catholic Charities center a few miles down the road that does counseling services, and we're gonna call that Monday and hope we can afford it. I appreciate the support, but I've become really hollowed out. I just want to get through this. I went to an adoration chapel the other day and left a few minutes after...I wanted to yell and scream but there were a group of older women praying the rosary and I didn't want to be rude or disrespectful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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