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[Byzantine]

Well here's what went down today:

Tried to ask her while we walked downstairs after a class, but we reached an area of the school where it would have been rather... unpleasant to ask her out, so I'm going to give it one last shot tomorrow.

I remember at one point hearing her joking with her one friend that one or both of them couldn't go out to eat, it had to be the movies. Seemed to be the case that neither are exactly... graceful eaters.

Tomorrow, I'm going to be burning something to DVD in our school's computer lab for her. So, I figure I'll see about asking the teacher (who knows some of this) to make himself scarce when she comes in. Then I can present the DVD, ask her out, and then... Time to play it by ear.

If she turns me down, I plan to tell her that the senior letter I wrote her was only written from a friend's perspective (which it was. I feel like it might be good to say it because in it I pretty much took my heart and put it on the paper. Don't want to creep her out or make her think I was only saying it so she'd go out with me).

If she accepts, well then Should I still tell her the senior letter is just as from a friend?

Attached is a quote from said letter so you can see how the tone of it generally was:

[quote]Today we somehow ended up discussing iconoclasm in [class]. St. John of Damascus, a great defender of the holy icons, once said that if anyone asked what Christians believe, we should take them to the church and show them the icons. Let’s suppose that suddenly iconoclasm made a comeback. I would not despair of fulfilling the saint's instruction, because I would know of one icon I could still present to inquisitors: [i]the name of the recipient has been omitted.[/i][/quote]

It took quite a bit of willpower to put that letter in the bag.

Edited May 25, 2012 by Byzantine

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1337902973' post='2434546'] So, I figure I'll see about asking the teacher (who knows some of this)
[/quote]
Does everybody know but her? (If everybody but her [i]does[/i] know, she, in fact, knows as well.)

[Byzantine]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1337911968' post='2434571']
Does everybody know but her? (If everybody but her [i]does[/i] know, she, in fact, knows as well.)
[/quote]

The teacher in question is a very good personal friend of mine.

[Jaime]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1337942240' post='2434663']
The teacher in question is a very good personal friend of mine.
[/quote]

That is not a good sign at all

[Byzantine]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1337946091' post='2434672']
That is not a good sign at all
[/quote]


Huh?

And as it turns out, I failed to say anything. Things were way too hectic. That's at least two failures and the next time I'll see her is next Thursday probably. I think things may have gotten awkward between us with my letter. Time to try again or time to admit defeat? ... That was more a me-directed question than a yinz-directed one...

[Vincent Vega]

tsk tsk. Shoulda ballsed up.

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEE3ycDH9_8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEE3ycDH9_8[/url]

[Jaime]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1338005570' post='2435026']
Huh?


[/quote]

I know this will sound weird to you but... If a teacher is a close and personal friend of a student, the teacher is not doing a good job. No matter how great the student is or how much I may like the student, that's not my role and the boundary needs to stay defined. That being said, I have students that tell me they consider me to be a friend. My response is always "Thanks but I'm not your friend, I'm your teacher"

[Innocent]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1338044298' post='2435130']
I know this will sound weird to you but... If a teacher is a close and personal friend of a student, the teacher is not doing a good job. No matter how great the student is or how much I may like the student, that's not my role and the boundary needs to stay defined. That being said, I have students that tell me they consider me to be a friend. My response is always "Thanks but I'm not your friend, I'm your teacher"
[/quote]

Prof. William E. May [url="http://www.christendom-awake.org/pages/may/teachers.htm"]says the same thing in one of his essays[/url]:


[quote][i][font=Times New Roman][size=4]4. Relations with students[/size][/font][/i]
[size=4]It is only natural for teachers to find some students easier to get along with than others and find others very difficult to handle and still others whom one would prefer not to teach at all because of their attitudes and behavior—and perhaps some students should be expelled. But the Catholic is required to respect and indeed love each one of his students, to treat them with dignity and respect, while firmly maintaining discipline.[/size]
[font=Times New Roman][size=4]It is wrong to treat students “equally,” because of real differences among them that require different treatment. But it is absolutely imperative to treat them are “equitably,” that is, justly, fairly, with consideration and respect. Although some may be “favorite” because of their intellectual and other skills and character traits, none should be the teacher’s “pet” or special friend. I think that the teacher should be friendly to all his students and, in a real sense, to be their friend. But teacher and student must never become chums or buddies. I think that as one’s graduate students come to the end of their doctoral studies and when one has been the student’s mentor, a particular teacher-student bond can be allowed to develop. It[/size][/font][i][font=Times New Roman][size=4] may[/size][/font][/i][font=Times New Roman][size=4] even be possible at this stage to allow the student to address one by one’s first name, but I believe that it is more prudent to wait until one’s student can be regarded as one’s “colleague” before allowing him to address one by one’s first name. It is, I believe, wrong to allow students to call one by one’s first name. If the Catholic teacher is to do his work properly he must maintain a professional “distance” between himself and his students. It is not proper for him to become their chums or buddies because this would not honor the difference between teacher and student. Familiarity can and does breed contempt, and true friendship is something far different from familiarity.[/size][/font][/quote]

He distinguishes familiarity from friendship. But I think he means the same thing that you do.

Edited May 26, 2012 by Innocent