Help Byz Thread

[Basilisa Marie]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1337657301' post='2433519']
The key is to not get yourself all worked up about the fact that you're [i]asking her out.[/i]

Are you two friends? If not, ask if she wants to have coffee. Or invite her over to play board games or something fun, The key is to keep it casual and not a big deal.

If you [i]are [/i]friends, is it possible to take her out to dinner? I know you're young, so I'm not sure what your financial situation is. Maybe you can coax your parents into letting you cook for her, if you can't go out. Or you could order Chinese and watch movies.

But I guess before I can help you further I need to know what you mean by "asking a girl out." Are you wanting to take her on a date, or are you wanting to ask her to be your girlfriend? Two totally different things.
[/quote]

Everything Missy said.

And if you don't know her that well yet, the good thing about dinner and a movie is that if you go to the movie first, you'll have at least one conversation starter during dinner.

[Byzantine]

Yes, we're friends. I was thinking movie. Does it have to include dinner? My financial situation is janitor at minimum wage for 2.5 hours a day trying to save money for college. Inviting her over is pretty much not an option for various reasons.

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1337657301' post='2433519']
But I guess before I can help you further I need to know what you mean by "asking a girl out." Are you wanting to take her on a date, or are you wanting to ask her to be your girlfriend? Two totally different things.
[/quote]
You. Have. GOT. To. Be. Kidding. Seriously? *sigh* Umm... I guess I have to take her on a date before asking her to be my girlfriend, right? So yeah, that one.

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1337659183' post='2433552']
I just remembered that you are young. Please don't really do this. I was just being hilarious.
[/quote]
I pretty much figured that.

Thanks guys!

[MIKolbe]

How exciting! I remember when I asked Shea out for the first time. Thank goodness the charm and good looks worked!!

[BG45]

Take what Missy said, do what Missy said.

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1337659086' post='2433549']
Don't sell yourself short
[/quote]

Is that a height joke?

[Slappo]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1337684954' post='2433605']
How exciting! I remember when I asked Shea out for the first time. Thank goodness the charm and good looks worked!!
[/quote]

And all this time I thought it was her great sense of sympathy

[MIKolbe]

that's what cinched the marriage proposal....

[Jaime]

I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.

[sixpence]

Maybe get a coffee or some appetizers or something before the move? Its kinda hard to get to know someone during a movie... or maybe bowling! My boyfriend #2 first took me on a date to dinner and the second one was bowling.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1337703629' post='2433690']
I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.
[/quote]

As dUSt said, the real story here is that Jaime has a fiance.

[Papist]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1337684954' post='2433605']
How exciting! I remember when I asked Shea out for the first time. Thank goodness the charm and good looks worked!!
[/quote]

Yes. I hear Shea does have charm and good looks.

[Papist]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1337651806' post='2433441']
I want to ask out a girl and this is an exaggeration but pretty much communicates my point:

[img]http://anongallery.org/img/4/1/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dog.jpg[/img]

So if anyone wants to chime in, the more detail, the better. And please don't let any of my non-Phatmass friends know this thread exists.
[/quote]

Arrange a group get together, such as a happy hour, game night or movie night. Once that is set up, simply invite her. If she declines, you still got a fun night to look forward to. If she accepts, chat her up. If it feels that you two have a connection, then ask her to go do something, sometime that is of a common interest to you both.

Edited May 22, 2012 by Papist

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Aw, that's so exciting for you!

Definitely everything Missy said. How old is this girl?

I think the movie is a good idea, sounds like a lot of fun. Depending on what time it is, it doesn't have to include dinner, maybe you guys could just get some ice cream or coffee or something?

[Anomaly]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1337703629' post='2433690']
I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.
[/quote]Thanks for the tears and the Coke Zero I just expelled through my nose.

Congrats on you getting her to rescind the restraining order and the subsequent engagement. I hope your marriage will be joyful, happy, and fufill [u]both[/u] your fantasies.

[Jaime]

[quote name='Anomaly' timestamp='1337706984' post='2433713']
Thanks for the tears and the Coke Zero I just expelled through my nose.

Congrats on you getting her to rescind the restraining order and the subsequent engagement. I hope your marriage will be joyful, happy, and fufill [u]both[/u] your fantasies.
[/quote]

Thank you sir! I sincerely appreciate the wishes!

[MissyP89]

OK, Byz. Let's see...

Yes, you should take her out 1-on-1 a few times before you ask her out. The idea is to start getting the message across that you'd like to be exclusive with her, so hanging out with just her is the place to start.

I understand the money situation, so no, you don't have to do dinner. I just suggested it because 1) it's a great time to talk and share good company, and 2) I just love food.

Movies are OK, but as others have suggested, you're not really deepening the friendship that way. It's best to do a movie and something else.

Before my boyfriend and I got together, we hung out in big group settings. Eventually, he started to ask me to spend time with him just the two of us, or he would eat dinner with me. That was when I started to wonder if he had feelings for me, because he was going out of his way to spend time with just me.

Then early last summer he came over and asked if I wanted to get ice cream. I didn't think anything of it ... until he paid for it. And that sent the message loud and clear that he was interested. Of course it also sent me into a secret panic, but that's another story.

How good do you think your chances are with her? You don't want to be too aggressive in your attempts to get her attention or it might intimidate her if she's not quite ready.

I have to wonder why it's not OK for her to come over, but I trust that this girl is a good person ... it's a bad sign if for some reason you don't feel right about letting your family meet her. But too, I know there are other reasons. I just wanted to make sure she's OK.