I'm Absolutely Baffled

[PhuturePriest]

I used to go on Catholic Answers Forums quite a bit until I found out about this site (My sister told me about it a long time ago but I could never find it because I spelled it "Fatmass"), and as a result of going here I rarely go there nowadays. I do sometimes wander over there for a bit, and after seeing a ridiculous thread on there today I have decided this site is without a doubt way better. The thread is "Can A Priest And Woman Be Good Friends?", and being certain that everyone would say "Of course they can!" I clicked it, only to be absolutely mortified by all of the people that said Priests should stay away from women and not be friends with them so as to avoid scandal and possible temptation. I suppose this means Saint Francis sinned by being friends with Saint Clare and Saint Padre Pio was a walking bastion of blasphemy for actually having a following of women.

Anyway, I have decided no matter how much we disagree here I love you all so much because I can at least rest assured 90% of you will say there is nothing wrong with a Priest being friends with a woman.

As a small favor, let's not make fun of these people but instead pray for them.

Edited May 5, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[Lil Red]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1336253692' post='2427442'] (My sister told me about it a long time ago but I could never find it because I spelled it "Fatmass"),[/quote]

are you making fun of Jason again? that's not nice, you know.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1336254021' post='2427443']
are you making fun of Jason again? that's not nice, you know.
[/quote]

Who's Jason?

[Byzantine]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1336254297' post='2427446']
Who's Jason?
[/quote]

MIKolbe

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Simply some can some can't, not in the worldly sense but i'm sure for the benefit of the flock and the kingdom of heaven some priests do need to avoid to much contact with women for whatever reason, and i assume some even to fight this become hermits and eventually re-surface once cured. But than also some can, like liberal and conservative in the church can mean for me ,some can sit at the coffee shop for 3 hours with $50 and only buy 1 coffee and some have to leave after 1 hour and one coffee or they will spend the remainder of the $50 on excessive amounts of coffee for a short time frame and also possibly the conservative had allocated $20 to the church trays and if remaining for the full 3 hours would go ahead and spend it, and even some conservatives whom can not even be around the coffee shop for 1 hour because if they spend on cafe coffee when they have instant at home there concience is effected severely which can lead them to sin and despair. And you liberals out there don't puff yourselfs up and think well those stupid conservatives lack faith because i'm sure where all a bit of both in certain arrears, because in this area the conservative actually has plenty of faith and knowing what he or she can and can't do, but same goes if your liberal catholic in certain arrears it is also of good faith too but not of good faith to say the conservative lacks faith. I understand what your saying though because the conservative is also lacking faith if he or she is saying [u]all[/u] priests should avoid women.

Onward christian souls.
Jesus is Lord.
God is good,God is love,God saves.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[EmilyAnn]

This is why I stay away from most topics on CAF. I'm sure they are very well meaning and very good people but some people there have some very strange ideas and can be somewhat over-zealous.

We actually had a game there for a while called The Mortal Sin Game as a parody of how over there people seem to be able to turn every tiny action into a mortal sin.

Edited May 5, 2012 by EmilyAnn

[OnlySunshine]

I think CAF really needs an overhaul. I used to love that site, but (no bashing), there are some odd people over there. I have run into a guy claiming to be a priest when he had just said the year before that he was applying to the seminary and had 4 years ahead of him at least. They ended up banning him because they looked up his name and there was no such person.

I have also run into some really scrupulous, overzealous people as well. Some are well meaning. Others act as though they are out to get you. I definitely prefer spending my time here.

BTW, I saw that same thread, too, and was flabbergasted by the replies.

[Spem in alium]

For a while I used CAF regularly. It had some good posts, but it really did get too weird. There's so much spam there. I'm sure a lot of the users are well-intentioned, but more often than not I seem to encounter people who are exceptionally rude or just want to argue. There are a lot of scrupulous people there too, who I try to pray for.
I stopped frequenting the site because its negative points began to outweigh the positive ones.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Spem in alium

[Byzantine]

I also used to frequent there. To be honest, I think that Phatmass has probably helped me more. Would that I had joined here sooner.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

and if all the good people stop posting there what hope is there for the doubtfull and scrupulous and trolls ? But than possibly in a conservative manner you need to avoid the sight because it is leading you to sin and or doubt ? But pray that the people whom can, that they stay there to help seperate the weeds from the wheat. And i thought catholic answers was an ewtn site and if so than surely they have people answering questions there, but possibly they give there answer than let it go and than you get all these other posts afterwards,try looking back to the initial posts and there is where you may find the person assigned by ewtn to answer the questions. Phatty phat chat gets bamboozled to at times and side tracked from the topics actuall hope for discussion,and sometimes often.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[Skinzo]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1336253692' post='2427442']
I used to go on Catholic Answers Forums quite a bit until I found out about this site (My sister told me about it a long time ago but I could never find it because I spelled it "Fatmass"), and as a result of going here I rarely go there nowadays. I do sometimes wander over there for a bit, and after seeing a ridiculous thread on there today I have decided this site is without a doubt way better. The thread is "Can A Priest And Woman Be Good Friends?", and being certain that everyone would say "Of course they can!" I clicked it, only to be absolutely mortified by all of the people that said Priests should stay away from women and not be friends with them so as to avoid scandal and possible temptation. I suppose this means Saint Francis sinned by being friends with Saint Clare and Saint Padre Pio was a walking bastion of blasphemy for actually having a following of women.

Anyway, I have decided no matter how much we disagree here I love you all so much because I can at least rest assured 90% of you will say there is nothing wrong with a Priest being friends with a woman.

As a small favor, let's not make fun of these people but instead pray for them.
[/quote]

I think women and priests can be friends but it would be an oversimplification to leave it at that. There are still temptations for both parties there and that has to be addressed. Some may be stronger against those temptations, others may not. That's kind of an individual thing. Not to mention the legal complications. An abbot I know had to have the sitting room in his rectory completely redone with added interior windows so that when women do visit a priest the two of them can be under observation at all times by another monk. Why? Because the monks are scrupulous? No, because the insurance company of the monastery insisted on it!
I think the Church has some guidelines in this area and it's probably best to consider those, like Canon 277:
"Clerics are to behave with due prudence towards persons whose company can endanger their obligation to observe continence or give rise to scandal among the faithful."



S.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Skinzo

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Skinzo' timestamp='1336261178' post='2427470']
I think women and priests can be friends but it would be an oversimplification to leave it at that. There are still temptations for both parties there and that has to be addressed. Some may be stronger against those temptations, others may not. That's kind of an individual thing. Not to mention the legal complications. An abbot I know had to have the sitting room in his rectory completely redone with added interior windows so that when women do visit a priest the two of them can be under observation at all times by another monk. Why? Because the monks are scrupulous? No, because the insurance company of the monastery insisted on it!
I think the Church has some guidelines in this area and it's probably best to consider those, like Canon 277:
"Clerics are to behave with due prudence towards persons whose company can endanger their obligation to observe continence or give rise to scandal among the faithful."



S.
[/quote]

Of course. One must always be careful. But these people were saying that a Priest should have very limited contact with women and should not be friends with one. One person said that a Priest could not even go to a movie or to a lunch with one because this would constitute as a date! If this is the case I have dated my sister.

[Basilisa Marie]

When I was in high school, I absolutely DEVOURED [i]This Rock[/i] (now Catholic Answers magazine, or something). I used to read their "Ask an Apologist" forum all the time. Now most of the answers they give are just links to other answers or their tracts. Fr. Vincent Serpia still gives amesome answers, and most of the time I really like Michelle Arnold as well. I've used their tracts as springboards for finding good quotes from Church Fathers on different issues. But I agree, their forums need an overhaul. I think part of the problem might be that it's so big now (and pretty old, in internet years), it's hard to regulate or develop a strong sense of community. One of the reasons why I really enjoy phatmass is that if you put the time and effort into becoming something of a regular, you can have a real rapport with people. You're allowed to disagree or change your mind on something, and people won't give you too much croutons about it.

Edit: I still can't spell.

Edited May 6, 2012 by Basilisa Marie

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1336264385' post='2427498']
When I was in high school, I absolutely DEVOURED [i]This Rock[/i] (now Catholic Answers magazine, or something). I used to read their "Ask and Apologist" forum all the time. Now most of the answers they give are just links to other answers or their tracts. Fr. Vincent Serpia still gives amesome answers, and most of the time I really like Michelle Arnold as well. I've used their tracts as springboards for finding good quotes from Church Fathers on different issues. But I agree, their forums need an overhaul. I think part of the problem might be that it's so big now (and pretty old, in internet years), it's hard to regulate or develop a strong sense of community. One of the reasons why I really enjoy phatmass is that if you put the time and effort into becoming something of a regular, you can have a real rapport with people. You're allowed to disagree or change your mind on something, and people won't give you too much croutons about it.
[/quote]

I [i]love [/i]Father Vincent Serpa. Michelle Arnold is really good, too. Neither compete with Tim Staples, of course. I've met him a[i] lot [/i]of times and he's a really great guy. We agree 100% on everything as well. He refers to me as his "Kansas groupie".

Phatmass is a really great site. I didn't like it for a while, but after I found out people didn't hate me and didn't single me out for fun but they simply wanted to help me I really got along with everyone. Generally everyone has helped me through crisis's at one point or another and you won't find a group like that at too many sites. I will admit nobody here ever gets tired of hearing their own humor, but I'm the same way so I fit in.

Edited May 6, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[LaPetiteSoeur]

I too used to browse (I never posted on there), but number one, it was too big, and number two, it seemed as though if I wasn't a Traditional Latin Mass only and veiling and going to a Catholic university then I was somehow a bad Catholic. PM is very welcoming and allows for disagreements and theological discussions, which I like a lot.