Uncertainty And Stress.

[Spem in alium]

I've been accepted to study the final semester of my B.A in the US from August to December. Everyone who knows has said things like "Wow, that's so razzle dazzle", and "You must be really excited", and while it IS razzle dazzle and I AM excited I'm far more stressed and nervous about it.

Half the time I wonder what insane thing possessed me to apply. I'm quite a shy and introverted person who only talks or reveals my true self when I have something worthwhile to say (so not very often) or when I trust others enough to feel confident around them. While I know (and am hoping) it will probably be a fantastic experience, gaining of true maturity, a good way to become independent and all those lovely and great things, the furthest I've been from my home without my family is on school camps. I NEVER do anything big like this - for me, "big" is probably buying something over $50, starting a new uni semester or doing something impulsive that other people would probably be able to manage easily. I'm worried that I'll not adapt to the new culture, that I won't make friends, and that I'll feel even more isolated than I do at home. I have a physical *disability* that probably contributes to a bit of my shyness, and I'm worried that it will deter new people from getting to know me. Also, for the first time ever I've gotten to know a guy and begun to feel for him romantically (though he doesn't know, I don't think), and that just makes leaving harder.

Plus, uni's stressing me out further by taking an epically long time to send me the paperwork, which is in turn preventing me from getting a visa, insurance, plane tickets, etc. Stress just smells of elderberries.

Please pray for me, that things get less stressful and that God will guide me and give me strength on this new journey. One of the things I'm really looking forward to is going to Mass and Adoration at the Catholic College. To experience the beautiful truth of the universality of the Church - it really fills me with hope in the stressful times.
God bless.

Edited May 4, 2012 by Spem in alium