Not Doing Well At All

[Maggyie]

Please pray for me. I was out of town this weekend for a bridal shower and it brought up a lot of memories and feelings about my family and how inadequate things were (are) with them. I can't help comparing us to functional families like the ones I was around this weekend. And feeling totally gutted. I am also soooo socially awkward and that made it lots of fun talking with tons of people I didn't know at all.

Or not talking, as it turned out.

But the worst part was that there were a couple women there with due dates very close to what mine would have been, if my baby lived. They were showing, lots of talk about babes etc. There was a 3 week old there looking new and cute. I can't quietly have a nervous breakdown every time I am in close contact with babies and/or pregnant women so I need to stop having these waves of sadness.

Tomorrow (April 30) is my birthday, I am going to be 27 and I would like to start out the year hopeful and not so depressed.