Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin?

[cappie]

Padre Pio once warned a man in Confession to change his lifestyle because he was in danger of going to hell. When the man said that he did not believe in hell, Padre Pio told him he would believe when he got there! We can be sure the man got the message.

To admonish people about their sins certainly is a very delicate matter. Because of the possibility of great anger and resentment, one must always approach with care and sensitivity. There are things we can say to a certain degree, but there are other things that perhaps are not ready to be said yet. We must always proceed with compassion and a sense of humility, and never try to confront people with their sins with an attitude of, "I am better than you are," or "I'm here to correct you."

Sometimes our way of life is a call to conversion. My brother has been married twice and is presently with a "partner". Now he knows what I think, what the Church teaches, and his own position. My answer is to encourage him to rectify his relationship. He knows what the Church teaches he knows what I think. I have not abandoned him, "cast him out" etc but I do pray for him.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

thanks fr cappie Edited May 2, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[AnneLine]

I struggle with this question myself. I think I side with Fr. Cappie and St. John of the Cross... but the dicey part is figuring out how to love, and how to express that love, isn't it?

I often reflect on my mother, dead over 20 years now, who was estranged from the Church for over 40 years. I don't know all of what happened... but she was hurt, angry and felt unable to love herself or God and certainly felt no love from the Church. She and my father raised me 'vaguely Christian' but certainly it wasn't a high priority.

When I announced that I wanted to become Catholic at the ripe old age of 10, she brought me to the parish and signed me up for CCD (She was informed that as I was old enough to understand the commitment, I would have to take instructions and make the decision for myself.) I was happy to do that, but I don't think I had any idea at the time what a hard thing I was asking of her and of my Episcopal father She shared with me only many years later how hard that was for her, and that one of the hardest things about it for her was the nasty comments that were made to her at the Parish about why she hadn't had me baptized as a baby. (Actually... she had done so in my crib when I was ill as a baby, but I wouldn't know that for 20 more years....). She never stopped me from going to Church, and eventually even let me go to daily mass in elementary and high school... and watched me join my Secular Order... but all through those years while it was clear she believed, she didn't know how to make it right between herself and God and the Church. Sometimes I wondered what to do, and eventually I realized that she loved God, God loved her... and that in God's time, it would be resolved. My place was to love and to pray for her... and be ready if and when she asked for help. It was only about 16 years after my baptism that she received the grace I had prayed for for years to come back to the Church. Easily some of the most amesome moments in my life were kneeling next to her to receive communion and eventually bringhing her the Eucharist during her final illness.

She told me afterwards that one of the most powerful things that had helped her to come back was that all through the years she knew that I wasn't judging her, wasn't pressuring her, that I knew she and God would work it out, and that I was available if and when she needed help to find a priest to bring her home. And that I was praying for her and talking with her, sharing what I believed and why I found such peace as a Catholic and in my relationship with God.

On the other hand... I know I have estraged many other Catholics (and non-Catholics) when I have taken a more pro-active response. I'm not sure at those times I was a prophet so much as a busy-body and know-it-all. I don't think that is from God. I am at peace now with a stance that is roughly what Fr. Cappie has suggested -- they know who I am, they know I stand with the Church, they know what the teaching is... it isn't my vocation to be the 'hammer of heretics' -- it may some people's vocation, but I am definitly not one of them, and most of the time, I think they do more harm than [s]God [/s][color=#ff0000]good[/color]. Even Padre Pio didn't go out and tell someone off... the person had come to him. I think there is a difference....

[color=#ff0000]Edited to correct a serious typo! [/color]

Edited May 2, 2012 by AnneLine

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1335948380' post='2426013']
[/quote]

Wonderful Story. I love good news

Edited May 2, 2012 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[RandomProddy]

[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1335744535' post='2424986']
So, what is the balance? How do we love someone in serious sin?
[/quote]

Point out your own sin while you do it and ask them to confess with you to God?