Difficult 8Th Grade Questions

[katie]

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In my 8th grade religion class today we talked about contraceptives, NFP, and chastity. I THINK 1 or 2 have already had sex, or at the least thinking heavily about it (judging by reactions and responses...I am praying I am wrong) ANyway, After class today, I asked them to write down any questions they had about the class or the one before (I gave a lesson on abortion and adoption the class before). 2 questions that I received I am not sure of the best way to answer, and was hoping that you could help me. To preface, I told them that sex before marriage is a mortal sin, as is using contraception. [/size][/font][/color]
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Here are the questions:[/size][/font][/color]
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Are my parents committing a mortal sin by using birth control now? (What is the best way to tell them the answer?)[/size][/font][/color]
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How are you relieved of a mortal sin? (Can you explain more than just confession? ... mental state, truly sorry, etc)[/size][/font][/color]
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thanks!!!![/size][/font][/color]

[Jaime]

Well to be honest, assessing if someone is in mortal sin gets thrown around a little more cavalierly than I'd like. Here is the Church definition (paraphrased) of mortal sin

The sin must be of grave matter

The person must know it's a sin

The person must actively choose to commit the sin with the knowledge that it can be a mortal sin.

So objectively one can say "a Catholic using birth control is committing a mortal sin if they know it's a sin". And in many cases that can be true. However the Church also talks heavily about how difficult it is to know the mindset of a person. There are grave sins that are mitigated through other circumstances. For example (btw most grave sins are sexual in nature so I will use one as my example) I had a friend who was highly sexually active in high school. She was Catholic and if you didn't know more about her, you would probably think she had no morals. She knew that pre-marital sex was a sin and continued to do it frequently. Did she fulfill the three criteria for mortal sin? Objectively speaking, one might think that. However her circumstances were unique. She admitted later in life that she had been raped multiple times when she was 13 and 14 and she never got help. When she finally got some therapy, she realized she was trying to gain control (the control she lost) by having lots of sex. Even though she never enjoyed it, this was an unconscious way for her to try to claim control back from her rapist.

So was her sin of premarital sex a mortal sin? Theologians would argue no.

I use this point to demonstrate that it is very hard for us to judge the state of other's souls (like your parents) . The smartest thing for any sin of grave matter is for the person involved speak to a priest, preferably in reconciliation.

You are relieved of mortal sin by going to confession and being fully contrite about committing the sin. Now if your soul was in a state of mortal sin, you were fully intending to go to confession the next weekend and you died before that, many theologians would say that the intent of confession would be enough to alleviate the burden.

What is easier is to show you the full proof way of not being relieved from a mortal sin. If one commits a sin of grave matter, knows it is of grave matter and does not care in the slightest. That person is very likely severed his/her connection with the Grace of God.