Question

[Autumn Dusk]

With all due respect I think you're off your rocker.

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1334177796' post='2415960']
[b]Important question:[/b] Do you have a spiritual director? If not, get one.

You should know, having been in religious life, that no human will be able to reveal God's perfect will to you; only God will reveal that over time. I imagine this is an unusual and perhaps uncomfortable time in your life. Try to let go of whatever chatter is going on in your brain, and just know God is. Go be with Him in adoration, do what's right in front of you, and trust that He who created you will also guide you.
[/quote]

? There are singluar things that I can do, like going to Mass. In my area Adoration is pretty scarce but I go when I can. But that's not the problem I'm addressing, infact I said prayer is vital to a relationship, either with God through an order, or with God through another human being.

[quote]


[Emphasis mine] I agree only with the bold section above.

(Please refer to color codes for the following.)
[color=#ff0000]Red section[/color] -- This is not how you discern religious life, in my experience; this is, rather, how you discern communities. Important: KEEP READING.

Black [b](bold)[/b] section -- This is how you discern your Vocation, period. Well, that's my experience with it and what I was taught growing up. Learning about religious life and visiting communities doesn't have to be about figuring out if you're being called to be a religious. Growing up, we see marriage being lived as a vocation EVERY SINGLE DAY. It doesn't matter how fault-ridden the relationship is, it is still the vocation on display. We don't get to live in convents every day of our young lives! Still, we must spend our time in prayer and adoration to know what the Lord wills for our lives.

[color=#008000]Green section[/color] -- Going to visit religious communities is, in my mind, the equivalent of getting to hang out with people of the opposite sex. We experience each other constantly; there is plenty of opportunity to get a general idea of what someone is like. If inquiring more about a community's practices had to be related to the vocation of marriage, I'd imagine it something like asking a potential partner about their hobbies, belief systems, and vocation ideas. It's not exactly the same, but it's comparable. In both situations, each party has to determine if the fit will be "good" or "right", but not necessarily that every opinion is the same or that every day will be filled with rainbows and unicorns and bunnies (if you're in to those things).

[/quote]

Different but similar.

And the whole point is that we DON'T see sex and marriage being lived out. SEX certinally but not marriage. Incoming freshmen at a local community college (with no dorms) reported this year that only 8% lived with their married biological parents. Most, 46% lived with a single mother. 30% lived with a parent and the parent's signigant other, unmarried. 12% lived with two married people, one not biologically related.

[quote]




If you're concerned about meeting someone, talk to God about it. Find a spiritual director, build relationships with holy religious and holy married people. People all around you are available and willing to help you through the unfamiliar challenges in your life. That being said, why fret the stuff that isn't here yet? You have to be [i]in [/i]a relationship to have relationship challenges!

[/quote]

I've met someone. I didn't type correctly. I was talking for my friends (who are good, practicing Catholics) who just can't seem to make the connection. And part of that is becuase at YA groups all that's being shoved down our throats is vocation to the religious life and all the retreats are for religious vocations. I live within 4 hours of 2 major metroplisis' and NOT ONE offers a class, a retreat, anything for a single person unless it's about discering a RELIGOUS vocation. There was one down in the city as a general retreat but it was run by religious who really started to get pushy towards the end.

[quote]

That's something you have to bring to a relationship, no one can make it happen for you. Build relationships with holy people and this shouldn't be a problem. This is a belief you bring to the table, and it will be necessary for you to find out early on if the people you date are on the same page (or are willing to get there).

[/quote]


[quote]



No, since they're both equally weighted in possibility. It is extremely important to make the distinction between discerning a PERSON and a VOCATION. If you know you are called to be a husband/father or wife/mother, then you've obviously discerned marriage. With whom you are to enter that type of relationship is a whole other level of discernment but which is rooted in your one true vocation of marriage. (It would be the same as realizing that God is calling you to be set apart, reserved solely for Him and then trying to figure out which community is YOUR community - that place where God wants you to live our your life in service of Him.)
[/quote]

Either you aren't reading or I'm not. Once you have that signifgant other it's a HUGE leap of faith to decide to marry when you haven't been with that person 24/7. There are lots of men out there and I'm sure it'd be far different if I got to live with them and know their habits before I made the leap.

[quote]

Spiritual directors, youth ministers, other married lay people. I would argue there are far more resources available for married people these days than for people discerning religious life! I know plenty of holy, married, lay people in the church who would be more than happy (and often are) to talk with singles looking for a spouse and/or couples who are discerning whether they are called to a marriage with each other.
[/quote]

Bully for you. But I don't see it around here. I know one good Catholic family (parents, kids, grandkids). Even the ministers in our church aren't necessarly married or on their first marriage. And many of the older people are on the other end...having lost their spouses.


[quote]
My strongest witnesses to the beauty of all vocations were married to each other. One was my youth minister, and her (now-)husband was youth minister to many other early phatmassers. They showed us constantly what it was to be engaged/married, as well as showing us the joys of religious life. They taught us where the differences lie, why someone would enter into each vocation (calling), and what the bottom line is for each vocation: getting to Heaven.
[/quote]

So the problem with a consistant, stable resourse would be????

[quote]
That woman has continued to be a huge influence in my life, even though I have been discerning religious life for a long time. Now that my religious vocation discernment is "on pause", I imagine she'll be just as influential in my waiting period. And should I start now to seek a partner, I imagine she'll be just as helpful and supportive. And who's helping me through all of this? My spiritual director.

We cannot sit back and cry because we don't have everything handed to us on a silver platter. We have to be our advocates in every area of society. We can lament the passing of the days when this wasn't the case, or we can get out there and be proactive. We can continue to moan, or we can show each other how to live our lives with courage.

Resources are available. Examples are available. [b]Seek and ye shall find.[/b]
[/quote]


So where are the resourses? Sorry. I really don't see them no matter how I look. And if you suggest that bat-cook of a cave known as CAF, that's more likely to break up a marriage than encourage one.

Edited April 12, 2012 by Autumn Dusk

[Autumn Dusk]

Oh, and I've been on Phatmass for quite a while. Since before the great crash and during the onerock migration. So I know that this "sort of" has been a resourse.

[franciscanheart]

[i][size=2](I'm in the middle of something right now; I will respond later today.)[/size][/i]

[Winchester]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-Id_fuXFA[/media]

[Autumn Dusk]

winchester? did you post something?

[Winchester]

No. Why?

[Autumn Dusk]

[quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1334239336' post='2416346']
No. Why?
[/quote]

Ususally when people post they have something to say. That's all.

[Winchester]

[quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334239496' post='2416347']
Ususally when people post they have something to say. That's all.
[/quote]
Even a dead thing can go with the current.

[Autumn Dusk]

[quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1334239764' post='2416351']
Even a dead thing can go with the current.
[/quote]

Dead things can also give props. Or so I've heard.

[Winchester]

That makes no sense. It's nonsense.

[Autumn Dusk]

[quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1334239973' post='2416354']
That makes no sense. It's nonsense.
[/quote]

How so? If you're capable of posting thin air (or some kinda secret mod message) you're capable of liking what I say. Do you genuinely think that THIS society we live in today is geard towards marriage?

Oh but ofcourse, we have Simpsons as our role models. Married for over 22 years now and only seldom cases of infidelity.

[Lil Red]

what are you talking about? can you honestly not see the videos?

[Autumn Dusk]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1334243888' post='2416378']


what are you talking about? can you honestly not see the videos?
[/quote]


Honest.

All I see is a big white space. I don't even see a hyperlink.

[IcePrincessKRS]

Are you on a phone or something? Sometimes they don't show up on mobile devices.

[Lil Red]

well, he's posting videos. perhaps you need to update something or another on your computer? (i don't know what you'd have to update, just a suggestion)