How To Give Up Our Plans And Our Will

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1334119288' post='2415649']
Prayer and more prayer. I won't go into details because the story is really long and complicated but once I was having a decision forced on me. Unless a miracle happened I would have to go through with one course of action, which was not the one I wanted. I personally couldn't see how this particular scenario would be good in any way shape or form. I was torn up about it, I went between denial, anger and sadness for about a week. In short I was fighting it. Finally I went to the chapel and prayed about it. I clearly remember that prayer time, through prayer I stopped asking "Why are You letting this happen?" and started asking "What do you want me to do now?" By not focusing on what I was letting go of but rather on where I was headed it made it much easier to surrender.
[/quote]

Precisely. As a Priest says in a video "People always focus on what Priests give up, but they never once consider what we're given!" Yes, I will not get married if I become a Priest, but I will become God's instrument to forgive people of their sins, turn mere bread and wine into the actual body and blood of Christ, marry people, baptize people, counsel people, and I'll even get the pleasure of doing these things for my nieces and nephews! No, when I think about it, nothing marriage could offer could possibly make me think they get more out of the deal than Priests do. I'm not discerning because I feel married people get the raw end of the deal, but I certainly am more attracted to the Priesthood than marriage.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='MarysLittleFlower' timestamp='1334082160' post='2415421']
Has anyone else struggled with this, namely giving up their own plans for life and self will? For example, having to give up something you wanted to do, for religious life. Is there anything that you found helpful? thanks!
[/quote]

Ha. I have to laugh. Why? This was posted precisely the day the "retreat-of-the-century-that-turned-my-life-upside-down-and-inside-out" ended.

I won't say specifics right now on where I am at with respect to vocation/calling. But what I can say is this:

Are your own plans for life an idol that replaces God? If that plan is more important than Christ Himself (regardless of how "good" that plan is) then it is in the way of what God really has in store for you. For when you get to a point of being able to say "not mine but thine will be done" then you will be truly free.

To get to the point of being able to let go may involve a lot of emotions. It may involve a sort of grieving. A letting go. A tearing of your heart in order to be detached from that plan. *But* the blessing is that once that detachment occurs then you are really in that place that St. Ignatius calls "indifference."

You cannot be open to what God wants if you have a self-given plan.

Finally (here I go again -- I should get paid for the free advertising lol). Fr. Tim Gallagher, OMV has a book called "Discerning the Will of God" as well as a series of talks that goes with the book. I highly recommend them.

[BarbTherese]

[QUOTE]To get to the point of being able to let go may involve a lot of emotions. It may involve a sort of grieving. A letting go. A tearing of your heart in order to be detached from that plan. *But* the blessing is that once that detachment occurs then you are really in that place that St. Ignatius calls "indifference."[/quote]

Very well said. The journey and the result cannot take place in the imagination, it has to be undertaken. Then hindsight speaks and may discern common areas with the journey of others.

Thank you for the book recommendation!

Edited April 14, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[IamMyBeloveds]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1334366511' post='2417445']
Had you asked me a year ago whether there was anything in the job/ministry department that I would miss, I would have said no...But it seems like things on a lot of different fronts could be coming together for me in a way they weren't when I first decided to enter. It certainly puts things in a different light.
[/quote]

marigold, I truly agree with this quote of yours! It does put things in a different light, and makes it harder to leave our plans behind, but I honestly believe that this is one way of God showing us our talents and developing them in a way that will eventually help us in religious life. The skills we acquire and daily interactions we have with coworkers are things that are meant to help us prepare if we use these circumstances prayefully. I believe that without this job, I would not have been equipped to be the future religious that God is asking me to be. It took me a lot to even want the job when they asked me to think about the position! It is honestly something I never thought I'd want to do...I was afraid of working with youth! (which is what I do). Now, I see that although I don't have a natural inclination toward it, it has borne a lot of fruit...and then I truly know it's HIM working and not me! He has taught me how to let go and let Him use me, a valuable experience for religious life! He uses my hidden gifts and talents (ones I never knew I had!) and prepares me for my future in religious life by what He has taught me to develop here outside the convent...Even if using my talents right now means simply doing something I don't necessarily feel inclined to enjoy, but I am letting Him work through me in this kind of work because I want to do His will for this time and love Him in the moment before entrance. That's how much we are learning how to love Him and follow Him...and trust in His provision for us! He uses everything...He is so good!

Edited April 14, 2012 by IamMyBeloveds

[Lisa]

I couldn't possibly add much to what has been said above. But a small tip that has helped me "give up" my will has been to start practicing aspirations, or short one line prayers, throughout the day. These can be anything, like "Blessed be the name of the Lord," "I love you my Jesus". To specifically address what you're asking, oftentimes my prayers are along the lines of these:

"Lord, help my desires and my will to conform to your holy will."
"Lord, allow me to see you in everything that happens today."
"Lord, I know you are with me always; show me what you want me to do right now." (this is a big one. If I can give up my will in the little things, I hope I will have the strength to give it up in a big way when he asks me)

At first, I thought I was the one making sacrifices for him! Boy, was I wrong. Whatever he asks us to give up- our will, seeing our family very often, our need for human love- He has already made infinitely greater sacrifices, and He promises to give back a hundredfold.

[she_who_is_not]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1334406384' post='2417663']
I couldn't possibly add much to what has been said above. But a small tip that has helped me "give up" my will has been to start practicing aspirations, or short one line prayers, throughout the day. These can be anything, like "Blessed be the name of the Lord," "I love you my Jesus". To specifically address what you're asking, oftentimes my prayers are along the lines of these:

"Lord, help my desires and my will to conform to your holy will."
"Lord, allow me to see you in everything that happens today."
"Lord, I know you are with me always; show me what you want me to do right now." (this is a big one. If I can give up my will in the little things, I hope I will have the strength to give it up in a big way when he asks me)

At first, I thought I was the one making sacrifices for him! Boy, was I wrong. Whatever he asks us to give up- our will, seeing our family very often, our need for human love- He has already made infinitely greater sacrifices, and He promises to give back a hundredfold.
[/quote]

I love this. Thank you so much.

[ImageTrinity]

I was certain I was called to religious life from age 12-18. I found the perfect Carmelite community my senior year of highschool that really felt like home. I was so in love with the sisters and their life. The evening I got home from my first week visit, I was saying good night to the Lord and felt Him ask me to give it up. Surrender my attachment to the idea of religious life and the Carmelites. It was an incredibly painful thing to do, but necessary. I continued to discern religious life for a number of years after, but because of that surrender, my eyes were opened to the beauty of married life and I met my husband. Our married life is all the more wonderful because we did have to struggle to really allow God to take charge of our future (my husband was discerning the priesthood when we met). When God asks for surrender, it may be painful, but it is always for a reason.

A priest I know tells me to say the prayer, "Lord, rid me of the burden of myself that I might better do your Will." Great prayer!

[marigold]

[quote name='ImageTrinity' timestamp='1334521495' post='2418258']
I was certain I was called to religious life from age 12-18. I found the perfect Carmelite community my senior year of highschool that really felt like home. I was so in love with the sisters and their life. The evening I got home from my first week visit, I was saying good night to the Lord and felt Him ask me to give it up. Surrender my attachment to the idea of religious life and the Carmelites. It was an incredibly painful thing to do, but necessary. I continued to discern religious life for a number of years after, but because of that surrender, my eyes were opened to the beauty of married life and I met my husband. Our married life is all the more wonderful because we did have to struggle to really allow God to take charge of our future (my husband was discerning the priesthood when we met). When God asks for surrender, it may be painful, but it is always for a reason.

A priest I know tells me to say the prayer, "Lord, rid me of the burden of myself that I might better do your Will." Great prayer!
[/quote]

I've run out of props (seem to be getting through them extremely quickly recently??) but I thought this was beautiful. If you don't mind me asking though, what happened to your relationship with the community? Are you still in contact? How did you go about 'undeciding' on a practical level?

Edit: also, 'felt Him ask me to give it up' ... how did you decide that it really was his will, and not the kind of temptation that seems to often come before entering? (That sounds critical, I don't mean it to - just interested! )

Edited April 15, 2012 by marigold

[ImageTrinity]

Honestly, looking back on it, it was all Providence.

I had planned to enter the Carmelite aspirancy right after highschool, but in my senior year, my mom developed some very serious health problems. My dad asked me to consider staying home and attending the local Catholic college. The Carmelite superior agreed that our family situation warranted postponing my entrance. My parents both developed a relationship with her, and it was actually my mom who told her about my now husband. The superior was an incredibly wise woman and every visit she told me that she was letting me go, and if the Lord wanted it, I would fly back to them. It turns out, the Lord had other plans! I'm really glad you asked, because it gave me the opportunity to look back and see how God arranged every detail so lovingly. I still struggle to trust, but without cause. God loves us so much! There is no reason to fear surrender.