What To Do When Your 7-Year-Old Son Says "i'm Gay"

[southern california guy]

[quote name='Jesus_lol' timestamp='1333221545' post='2411224']
well, in that case, SoCalGuy, since you are the one who first brought up that homosexuality is a learned thing, where bad parents are responsible, the burden of proof is on you to provide valid sources for that argument, not anecdotal.
[/quote]

Nick you're playing a game because you know that I can't prove my opinion scientifically because psychology is not a cut and dry science.

The "burden of proof" is on whoever is challenged to back their opinion up. Just because I would probably disagree with her anecdotal evidence doesn't mean that she can't cite it. She never did. Instead she made the word "not" bold, underlined, and in italics ([i][u][b]NOT![/b][/u][/i]) -- as if it were an absolute. I disagree.

I don't believe that a child who is only seven really understands love and physical attraction. I can argue that I think a certain actor is attractive, and handsome, and I wished that I looked like him. But that doesn't mean that I'm in "love" with him. It doesn't mean that I want to engage in sodomy with him. By saying that this little boy is "gay" (homosexual) that is what his mom is saying. It's downright ludicrous isn't it?

I also believe that you can shape a child when you start at a young age. I believe that our psyche is formed by what we experience, and what we are taught. If you grew up in Asia you would probably think that durians are the most delicious fruit in the world. Growing up here you would probably have a hard time getting past the strong rotten onion overtones to the smell and taste. In Elementary school some of the boys in my grade were molested by a man who coached "Little Dribblers". He'd hold parties at his house where he put on a gorilla suit and molest them. About a third of the guys became homosexuals as adults (I'm basing that on their Facebook profiles). I think that indicates a connection. I don't absolutely know it and I can't prove it scientifically but I believe there is a connection.

The woman who wrote the article believes that certain people are born "homosexual". I suspect that her husband believes it too. And I'm sure that her kids have been taught this as well. At the age of seven I had no idea what a homosexual was. My parents never discussed it, I never saw it on TV. I guess I lived a sheltered life. It seems to me that this boy is growing up with beliefs that are in line with his parents.

Seven years old is still pretty darn young. At that age he is a product of his parents beliefs and influence.

Edited March 31, 2012 by southern california guy

[FutureSister2009]

Definitely far too young to really know that

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1333169754' post='2411009']
I once responded to a comment on facebook, an argument against gay marriage that was entirely secular and made no appeals to religion or morality in anyway.

Some chick told me I was a remnant of a bygone age and that she hoped I enjoyed extinction, along with other hysterical accusations about what a horrible, evil bigot I was.

It bothers me, as a human who genuinely does care about people, genuinely wants the best for them (eternal happiness, not just happiness in this world) that quite a large number of folks assume off the bat without even knowing me that I'm a hateful bigot. I mean why does that have to be the first leap? I'd feel a little bit better if my opponents thought I was hopelessly naive, but when so many people automatically assume you have the very worst motives for everything you say and do . . .

I wish I could be more of an arse portal (does Winchester give lessons?), and just wave off these people as a bunch of liberal nutjobs, but in all honesty I guess I'm just tired and hurt by all of this. It's overwhelming to me, that you need to believe homosexuals are disgusting people, or give unwavering support to every GLBT group that pops up. Almost everyone I know in the real world seems to think this way.

When I start to talk about how, I think, sexual-orientation is a relatively new social-construct and that I refuse to accept the idea that it's an inherent facet of human nature (like race for example, there's nothing essential or innate about blackness or whiteness etc) . . . people look at me like I'm talking Klingon. I mean, I thought it was supposed to be religious zealots like me who blindly accept things as they are. Why are they? Why does everything so obvious? Am I missing something? Is my opinion on this topic really less sophisticated than the average bear's? genuine questions.

I'm venting I guess.
[/quote]

[Anomaly]

Great posts, Ice_nine! I especially like your comments questioning why do people think they have to put limiting labels on themselves or others?

[filius_angelorum]

I did not assert, just to clarify, that same sex attractions are in any way linked to bad parenting. What I did suggest, especially in the context of this article, was that to self-label at such a young age might be the result of poor parenting.

We use language in imitation of our parents. If we present sexual orientation in the same paradigm as the secular media to our children, and do not give them clear and age-appropriate reasons for our own understanding of gender, they will use the limiting and morally imprecise language of "gay", "bi," "lesbian", or "trans". In our view a woman is a woman is a woman, whether she feels like it or not, and a man is a man. They are ontological gifts to an individual, ordered to participation in God's creative act. This does not mean one must fit certain 'feminine' or 'macho' characteristics. (Someday I will understand exactly what 'effeminate' means in the context of describing a perfectly moral man.)

Edited April 1, 2012 by filius_angelorum

[Papist]

My 7 yr old son : "Daddy, I am gay."

Me : "No you're not. Now let's go hit some golf balls."

[Papist]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]The author is described as, "[color=#000000][left]Amelia is a mother, wife, partner and breadwinner". Partner, Breadwinner. That's peculiar.[/left][/color][/font][/size]

[PhuturePriest]

To quote the guy from The Princess Bride: INCONCEIVABLE!!!!!

But really, he's going to turn out to not be gay because he doesn't know what it really means, but her mother is going to want him to be gay so he'll be pressured to marry a guy. It won't be his choice, it will be his mother's, and he'll feel that if he doesn't marry a man he'll be disappointing his mother. I know this because I've experienced similar but in a different way. Back when I wanted to get married I always wanted to marry an Asian woman, but my mom is a total you only marry within your race type of person, and this angered her, so I felt as if I was only allowed to date white women. It's not a great feeling and it's wrong. I hope this turns out okay for the little boy who will have major psychological problems because of all this.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1333169754' post='2411009']
I once responded to a comment on facebook, an argument against gay marriage that was entirely secular and made no appeals to religion or morality in anyway.

Some chick told me I was a remnant of a bygone age and that she hoped I enjoyed extinction, along with other hysterical accusations about what a horrible, evil bigot I was.

It bothers me, as a human who genuinely does care about people, genuinely wants the best for them (eternal happiness, not just happiness in this world) that quite a large number of folks assume off the bat without even knowing me that I'm a hateful bigot. I mean why does that have to be the first leap? I'd feel a little bit better if my opponents thought I was hopelessly naive, but when so many people automatically assume you have the very worst motives for everything you say and do . . .

I wish I could be more of an arse portal (does Winchester give lessons?), and just wave off these people as a bunch of liberal nutjobs, but in all honesty I guess I'm just tired and hurt by all of this. It's overwhelming to me, that you need to believe homosexuals are disgusting people, or give unwavering support to every GLBT group that pops up. Almost everyone I know in the real world seems to think this way.

When I start to talk about how, I think, sexual-orientation is a relatively new social-construct and that I refuse to accept the idea that it's an inherent facet of human nature (like race for example, there's nothing essential or innate about blackness or whiteness etc) . . . people look at me like I'm talking Klingon. I mean, I thought it was supposed to be religious zealots like me who blindly accept things as they are. Why are they? Why does everything so obvious? Am I missing something? Is my opinion on this topic really less sophisticated than the average bear's? genuine questions.

I'm venting I guess.
[/quote]

We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Honestly, I'm not sure just what I think about the whole situation as of yet. There is scientific evidence that proves gay men have disordered chromosomes and such, but I also believe there is a lot of psychology that goes into this. I have a perfect example: My friend Mike Hall is in his sixties now and he's gay. Why is he gay? Because his mother messed him up. Basically, she got pregnant with a girl, and soon after she was born (I think she was born) she died. His mother was absolutely devastated and she soon got pregnant again. However, when baby Michael came out, she started treating him like a girl. She put him in dresses, taught him to act like a lady, she never had him work, she just completely messed him up for life. If it had not been for this he would've been completely normal, but in some of his most important formative years psychologically (From birth to five) he was taught to be a woman, and was never exposed to his father, so he did not have the opportunity to learn manhood. Honestly, I don't know what the father was thinking. They probably didn't know at the time that this would mess him up for life, but if I were a father I would like to think that psychological problems or nay, I wouldn't let my wife put my son in dresses and teach him to be a woman.

And I'm not judging him, I'm simply saying I do not know enough about the situation and I never knew the father to see if he simply did not care or if he was simply completely ignorant of the fact that this would most likely have life-altering effects. My father has drilled manhood and work into me enough that I would put a stop to this as soon as I saw my son in a little pink dress and as soon as I saw him curtsy when meeting someone knew, but again, back then they simply did not know enough about psychology and why it is so important for men to raise the boys and for women to raise the girls. Then again, all that we have learned the liberals are throwing into the trash because it's "intolerant". Well, I'm with Father David Mary and I'm joining The Anti-Tolerance League:
http://franciscanbrothersminor.com/FBM/The_Anti-Tolerance_League.html

Sorry, I suppose I'm ranting as well.

Edited April 1, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1333307288' post='2411550']
We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Honestly, I'm not sure just what I think about the whole situation as of yet.[b] There is scientific evidence that proves gay men have disordered chromosomes and such[/b], but I also believe there is a lot of psychology that goes into this.
[/quote]

That means absolutely nothing. There are a load of dumb junk-science articles that claim homosexuality is genetic and it's all complete trash. It's all based on incorrect assumptions and biased agendas. It's poor psychology, poor genetics and poor science.

Also, saying that science has "proved" something is just plain old wrong. Most annoying phrase ever is 'scientific proof' because you're talking about something that basically doesn't exist but people are just too dumb to realise. It's something that really bugs me. Science isn't exact, data can be manipulated, studies can be tweaked to provide the desired outcomes, and no amount of evidence ever amounts to the same thing as proof.

[Archaeology cat]

Note: all children, regardless of sex, used to be dressed the same, in dresses. Just look at old photos. It's only been in more recent times that children's dress has been gender specific.

Back to the subject at hand. I can't say with certainty what I'd say if my son told me that he was gay. I would let him know he was loved, and I would ask why he said he was gay and go from there.

[dominicansoul]

i will never have a 7 year old

[MissScripture]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1333311603' post='2411569']
i will never have a 7 year old
[/quote]
You will have a 7 year old Godson, someday.

[dominicansoul]

YAY!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333311300' post='2411565']
That means absolutely nothing. There are a load of dumb junk-science articles that claim homosexuality is genetic and it's all complete trash. It's all based on incorrect assumptions and biased agendas. It's poor psychology, poor genetics and poor science.

Also, saying that science has "proved" something is just plain old wrong. Most annoying phrase ever is 'scientific proof' because you're talking about something that basically doesn't exist but people are just too dumb to realise. It's something that really bugs me. Science isn't exact, data can be manipulated, studies can be tweaked to provide the desired outcomes, and no amount of evidence ever amounts to the same thing as proof.
[/quote]

Well, I wouldn't know. I haven't looked into the subject much. I have studied the morality of it, not the science of it. This is simply what I was told and I thought it was right. It may not be.