What To Do When Your 7-Year-Old Son Says "i'm Gay"

[Ice_nine]

I once responded to a comment on facebook, an argument against gay marriage that was entirely secular and made no appeals to religion or morality in anyway.

Some chick told me I was a remnant of a bygone age and that she hoped I enjoyed extinction, along with other hysterical accusations about what a horrible, evil bigot I was.

It bothers me, as a human who genuinely does care about people, genuinely wants the best for them (eternal happiness, not just happiness in this world) that quite a large number of folks assume off the bat without even knowing me that I'm a hateful bigot. I mean why does that have to be the first leap? I'd feel a little bit better if my opponents thought I was hopelessly naive, but when so many people automatically assume you have the very worst motives for everything you say and do . . .

I wish I could be more of an arse portal (does Winchester give lessons?), and just wave off these people as a bunch of liberal nutjobs, but in all honesty I guess I'm just tired and hurt by all of this. It's overwhelming to me, that you need to believe homosexuals are disgusting people, or give unwavering support to every GLBT group that pops up. Almost everyone I know in the real world seems to think this way.

When I start to talk about how, I think, sexual-orientation is a relatively new social-construct and that I refuse to accept the idea that it's an inherent facet of human nature (like race for example, there's nothing essential or innate about blackness or whiteness etc) . . . people look at me like I'm talking Klingon. I mean, I thought it was supposed to be religious zealots like me who blindly accept things as they are. Why are they? Why does everything so obvious? Am I missing something? Is my opinion on this topic really less sophisticated than the average bear's? genuine questions.

I'm venting I guess.

Edited March 31, 2012 by Ice_nine

[the171]

I guess it's French news for me now! C'est tres bon, cher!

[the171]

I would prop your post if I could. I feel the same way!!

[Groo the Wanderer]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1333169762' post='2411010']
I guess it's French news for me now! C'est tres bon, cher!
[/quote]

Le Surrender Times?

[the171]

You read it, too?!???

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1333169754' post='2411009']
I once responded to a comment on facebook, an argument against gay marriage that was entirely secular and made no appeals to religion or morality in anyway.

Some chick told me I was a remnant of a bygone age and that she hoped I enjoyed extinction, along with other hysterical accusations about what a horrible, evil bigot I was.

It bothers me, as a human who genuinely does care about people, genuinely wants the best for them (eternal happiness, not just happiness in this world) that quite a large number of folks assume off the bat without even knowing me that I'm a hateful bigot. I mean why does that have to be the first leap? I'd feel a little bit better if my opponents thought I was hopelessly naive, but when so many people automatically assume you have the very worst motives for everything you say and do . . .

I wish I could be more of an arse portal (does Winchester give lessons?), and just wave off these people as a bunch of liberal nutjobs, but in all honesty I guess I'm just tired and hurt by all of this. It's overwhelming to me, that you need to believe homosexuals are disgusting people, or give unwavering support to every GLBT group that pops up. Almost everyone I know in the real world seems to think this way.

When I start to talk about how, I think, sexual-orientation is a relatively new social-construct and that I refuse to accept the idea that it's an inherent facet of human nature (like race for example, there's nothing essential or innate about blackness or whiteness etc) . . . people look at me like I'm talking Klingon. I mean, I thought it was supposed to be religious zealots like me who blindly accept things as they are. Why are they? Why does everything so obvious? Am I missing something? Is my opinion on this topic really less sophisticated than the average bear's? genuine questions.

I'm venting I guess.
[/quote]
Ironically, when it comes to opposing viewpoints, I've gotten the most understanding from people who ARE homosexual. I know that is definitely not the case with everyone, but I think when it is, it might be because they understand that there is more to who they are than a sexual orientation. And it's usually been people I was close to at some point, and so they understand that I still love them as a person, but I am going to disagree with how they are living their lives.

But I definitely agree that too many people jump on the bigot bandwagon without even having any idea what their opponent is saying. Unfortunately, it seems that in the world today if you disagree with someone, that means you hate them.

[Ice_nine]

Yeah, I don't have a great number of friends, but of the few I do have, some of them identify as homosexual or admittedly lean in that direction, and they seem a lot less hostile even if they disagree.

It's just so tiring when you have to fight with people, even when essentially, you care about said people.

dgdahnijgasdg my heart gets all sad facey sometimes

[Nola Seminarian]

i'll be praying for this kid

[vee]

They need to be in every school and on every child's tv shows to watch, then youll have 7 year olds singing the Te Duem. In Latin. From memory.

[img]http://cleansingfiredor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/DSMME-Chapel.jpg[/img]

[MissyP89]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1333170514' post='2411023']
It's just so tiring when you have to fight with people, even when essentially, you care about said people.

dgdahnijgasdg my heart gets all sad facey sometimes
[/quote]

I want to give you the biggest hug ever, mostly for saying all of that.

I've always had SO MUCH frustration in me about the way we, as conservatives, talk about and defend our stance on homosexuality. I've rarely ever seen it done with true charity that's born out of love for them as human beings. Because of that, it was almost impossible until very recently for me to stand with the Church on these issues. I almost felt like I was supposed to feel angry with people that have SSA.

I can't imagine what a cross it must be to not have the feelings you wish you could. It's heartbreaking, and they all need so much more love than we show them, IMO.

[filius_angelorum]

What to do when a seven year-old boy says he's gay? Well, ignoring the bad parenting that led him to self-label so early in life, and the possible causes of such a young boy developing a crush on a television personality, I would say that a parent's reaction should be to see what the boy means by this statement and to discuss, without going into the gritty details, the Catholic perspective on love and married relationships. Then, turn off the dang television. Also, tell him the importance of not giving himself or any other person such limiting and immoral names.

[Kia ora]

[quote name='Norseman82' timestamp='1333167486' post='2410978']
That's absurd. Do seven year olds really understand what being homosexual is?
[/quote]
Do seven year olds understand what being heterosexual is?

[Ice_nine]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1333173984' post='2411046']
I want to give you the biggest hug ever, mostly for saying all of that.

I've always had SO MUCH frustration in me about the way we, as conservatives, talk about and defend our stance on homosexuality. I've rarely ever seen it done with true charity that's born out of love for them as human beings. Because of that, it was almost impossible until very recently for me to stand with the Church on these issues. I almost felt like I was supposed to feel angry with people that have SSA.

I can't imagine what a cross it must be to not have the feelings you wish you could. It's heartbreaking, and they all need so much more love than we show them, IMO.
[/quote]

Aw, thanks . Glad you can relate.

This may be more disclosure than anyone really wants to know about me, but throughout my life the things/people I could find sexually arousing is an embarassingly long and strange, sometimes heartbreaking list (which I won't bore you with all those sordid details ). Honestly the idea of [i]that[/i] systematic fixation on sex being something intrinsically part of my identity was confusing as a fluppery mupper. I don't know if this is making any sense, but my uninhibited unchecked exploration of "my sexuality" didn't lead to some enlightenment, it led to a profound confusion.

I mean you can tell now by the proliferation of labels, it's no longer just gay or straight, there's bi-sexual, pan-sexual, asexual (there is even a forum out there for "asexual lesbians" . . . figure that one out) and at some point I was like "holy poo why does everyone have to be ascribed a label that comprehensively maps out every detail of someone's sexuality?!" It's the same thing with race. They realized that black and white didn't cut it anymore and so many more categories had to be imposed on our social structures. What for? Does it really matter? It was unduly frustrating.

And then the heavens opened up and realized that it didn't have to be this way. I have lots of thoughts and desires. Some of them are good, some are bad, some are neutral, but I sure as hell am not going to define myself by every compulsive thought that cycles through my head, sexual or otherwise. I realized that the mind is very plastic and remarkably conditionable, and over time I was able to channel my sexuality in the way[i] I [/i]wanted it to go. Not to say anything is perfect yet, There will be base desires I will have to contend with until I die (most of them aren't sexual in nature), but if this is what they call "repression" it's a whole lot better than the neurotic confusion of trying to identify with every compulsive pattern of thought you've ever dealt with. I'll take this repression thing thx.

[quote name='Kia ora' timestamp='1333178353' post='2411067']
Do seven year olds understand what being heterosexual is?
[/quote]

I would hope not. I mean in an ideal world kids wouldn't be concerned with sex until their hormones kick in. THEN it becomes necessary to understand such things. But why before? I mean, the body develops sexually way quicker than the mind does anyhow, so why add a burden of additional confusion onto children? They're gonna have to deal with it soon enough. What's the benefit of trying to explain something that their bodies, let alone their minds, can't understand?


When I was a child, the culture being how it is, sex and stuff was talked about on the school bus and the playground etc. but I have to say my parents did a pretty good job of sheltering me and my siblings from unnecessary exposure to sexual things (although they didn't quite handle that awkward adolescent transitioning stage too well, admittedly).

My point is that the nebulous ideas I had about sex was that it was something foreign and weird. It was something I knew a little bit about but couldn't possibly understand, and I think much of my curiosity was born out of wanting to be accepted by my peers. The playground social heirarchies were practically built around how many things you "knew" about sex. And if you didn't know what x,y, or z meant you would become an object of derision.

I think it's regrettable that a 7-year-old watches Glee btw. Do I sound like a prude? It's overly sexual for children IMO.


Although, I don't believe in the idea of being oriented sexually towards a certain class of people, to the point where I refuse to identify whenever I'm asked on a survey, or on facebook, or in real life (although no one has ever asked me 'hey so you gay or straight?'). I think it pisses people off because they think I'm evading the question. As an adolescent and such I was always SUPER paranoid that people would think I'm gay (no boyfriend, didn't gush over "hot guys," wasn't stereotypically girly) and you bet your arse I would tell everyone I was straight if asked (just look at my facebook/myspace guys! see it says I'm interested in mens!).


Sorry, it's probably not right of me to post an article and blabber on about tangential things but you know . . . is how I roll.

[homeschoolmom]

Couldn't get past the first sentence. Why is a 7 year old watching Glee?

[vee]

The most understanding person about sex is God. He created us, He created sex, He knows our hearts and what is right and wrong for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and if God says dont do something, that sex is in its proper place is in a marriage betwee one man and one woman with certain parameters then we must accept that He is God, we are not, and listen to Him.