Opposite Sex Housemates

[cmotherofpirl]

The U. S. is not Catholic.

[AnneLine]

I also think there is a place for taking a stand that it is possible to be chaste and share a house with others.

And to do some education for those who aren't sure about the situation. And I'm not against having those who are against my stand bring their arguments forward... as I have said, I think there is room on the continuum for that belief, for that way of living out this virtue.

Perhaps the very existence of this situation could be a teaching moment for what the Church teaches, why She teaches it, and why this kind of a decision needs to be made after careful thought and prayer. When people get into trouble, it is often because they DON'T think about what they are doing and why they are doing it.

And I think countries - and families and 'households' - are Catholic as we make them.... and as holy as the choices we make within them...

I'm not Church Scholar... but I believe God wants to be part of our lives, and the reality that He became Incarnate tells me he choise to to live where we live. I have a feeling His world was pretty similar to our own.... He did a few things that were upsetting to the culture & mores of his contemporaries, I seem to recall.

I think God gets that sometimes situations aren't as cut & dried as they might appear to be.. and he was willing to go to dinner with people who weren't as accepted as others.. who were considere public sinners. I think He looks for what is in the heart.

I would have no problem inviting the Good Lord and His Mother to dinner at my home... it would be an honor and a privilege... and I'd be sure all my housemates were invited, too.

And in case they choose to drop by tonight (oh I would be so honored!) I think I had best go vacuum and clean the bathrooms!

My 2 cents...

[Anomaly]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1334436233' post='2417828']
Now come on, guys.... there IS a potential for scandal and also for something to happen, so I can understand where the others are coming from....
[/quote]I agree with you. It's clearly not okay move in and out with people while having casual sex. It's demeaning to the persons, demeaning to the idea of family, etc. most psychologists could explain that from a scientific point. I would agree with the Catholic viewpoint of it possibly be sending the wrong message.

Not an ideal situation. Not something to do without caution. Not a good idea for strangers or for immature people.

Often, Catholic morals are the same as good sound common sense. Butt I don't think Catholic culture should abandon common sense, respect, with a good dose of charitableness.

[Anomaly]

Just read your latest post Anne Line. I'm out of Props. I really enjoy and like your posts.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1334447691' post='2417898']
I disagree. For Catholics we are Catholic first, that is to be our primary culture.
[/quote]
There is not one single unified Catholic culture. cf. postures in the Eastern rite vs. in the Latin rite. Kneeling is considered among the most reverent to us, standing to them.

Edited April 15, 2012 by USAirwaysIHS

[Basilisa Marie]

Maybe one of the reasons why secular people don't bat an eye at different sexes living together without assuming anything about a relationship is because we've gotten to the point where there is so much...um..."diversity"...in relationships, that you can't assume [i]anything [/i]about [i]anyone's [/i]relationship anymore. It's gotten to the point where people might wonder if two women that live together are dating. In my experience it seems like people might ask, but they won't often assume. More often it's those who have a solidly Catholic worldview that assume the most about what people are doing (or not doing, for that matter).

I think there might be more of a problem if people know that you're Catholic AND you're living in an apartment with a person of the opposite sex. Because then people know you say you're living a Catholic lifestyle, and you're an example of what that means.

[cmotherofpirl]

Roommates, housemates, renters, squatters, friends with benefits, living together etc are all different categories of living on the same premises. They don't all mean the same thing. Some are scandalous, but not all of them.

[Maggyie]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1334447691' post='2417898']
I disagree. For Catholics we are Catholic first, that is to be our primary culture.
[/quote]

Yes but what is the official "Catholic" cultural line on this?

Is there an official Catholic culture on what constitutes modest dress? On veiling? On whether you can go on a date without a chaperone? Again at one time it was considered the height of scandal for a Christian woman of any denomination to be alone with a man who was not her father or brother. Whether it was going out to a cafe for a cup of tea, or out for an afternoon walk, a woman who did this would have her reputation utterly ruined. It used to be unthinkable that a woman would live by herself, let alone with a male roommate.

Nowadays does it cause a scandal to meet your boyfriend (or your friend who happens to be a boy) at a coffee shop for a chat? Does it cause scandal to you if you know of a good Catholic boy and girl who study together or go to the movies by themselves? Or a Catholic woman who horror of horrors goes on a *BLIND DINNER DATE* without a chaperone? If so I would venture you are one in a million, a minority that probably does not include the pope.

Now would the pope be keen on opposite sex housemates? Probably not, but because he is from a generation for whom people living together had different connotations than it has now.

[MissyP89]

A brief, perhaps late interjection re: laundry, scandal, and supposed "urges":

Comments like these are the sort that make women like me paranoid when I go clothes shopping, or heck, even walk down the street. Because you say it yourselves: we are naive to trust you.

[Jesus_lol]

To me, the assumption that people(typically men) have urges that are impossible to control is very "Rape-y".

"it wasnt me it was my uncontrollable urges!"


just because some people are so repressed they get sexually excited at a light breeze, and assume the same for others doesnt make it true, missy. Dont fear too much.

Edited April 15, 2012 by Jesus_lol

[StClare_OraProNobis]

[quote name='Jesus_lol' timestamp='1334478353' post='2418099']
To me, the assumption that people(typically men) have urges that are impossible to control is very "Rape-y".

"it wasnt me it was my uncontrollable urges!"


just because some people are so repressed they get sexually excited at a light breeze, and assume the same for others doesnt make it true, missy. Dont fear too much.
[/quote]


I actually think that this is taking Future Priest's comments way too far. He never said anything about "rape" and it does not seem he was talking about that at all. Accusing someone of having urges that would lead to something like "rape" is not only really rude but also could be damaging to that person's reputation.

Good for you that you apparently are superhuman and do not ever struggle with sexual temptations of any sort. Please show a little pity towards those of us that do.

Edited April 15, 2012 by StClare_OraProNobis

[StClare_OraProNobis]

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1334459927' post='2418011']
.Now would the pope be keen on opposite sex housemates? Probably not, but because he is from a generation for whom people living together had different connotations than it has now.
[/quote]


This is actually why the pope speaks out against moral relativism. The culture should not define our moral life, Christ needs to define our moral life. I happen to think the Holy Father is a great authority regarding the moral life whether or not you think he is from a generation too old-fashioned to speak relevantly.

Edited April 15, 2012 by StClare_OraProNobis

[Lilllabettt]

Hmmmm what is this "Catholic culture" I keep hearing about? Christianity is not a collection of moral laws governing behavior. It is a conversion to life in Christ. THAT is Catholic culture. Not the length of my hem, whom I rent a house with, whether I eat meat on Friday.

The pope wants our faith to define the culture --- but what he's talking about is not people being distinctively, culturally Catholic by the strictness with which they adhere to the law ... he's talking about them being distinctively culturally Catholic by the degree to which they've been converted to the Gospel ...

[vee]

and when they have been converted to the gospel their lives should reflect that. Where they wore daisy dukes before, they might now wear a longer item of clothing out of concern for God. And where they may have had certain living arrangements before , they may now have to move and change those arrangements out of concern for God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1334502591' post='2418137']
and when they have been converted to the gospel their lives should reflect that. Where they wore daisy dukes before, they might now wear a longer item of clothing out of concern for God. And where they may have had certain living arrangements before , they may now have to move and change those arrangements out of concern for God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
[/quote]

. Hem length is not a reflection of the quality of someone's devotion to God. We are not fundamentalists: In necessariis, unitas; in dubiis, libertas; in omnibus, caritas.