For Those Discerning.. (How We Present Ourselves)

[MarysLittleFlower]

I was reading a quote by a Saint (I'm sorry I forgot which Saint..) and it said that if a person is not married and doesn't think that is their vocation, and yet dresses in a way as to tempt others to impure thoughts, that's a mortal sin (of course that is a sin for those who are called to marriage also). Then, the quote also said that if such a person doesn't dress vainly to tempt to impure thoughts, but rather just out of vanity/too much concern for appearance, then it's a venial sin. If a wife wears something beautiful for her husband, that's one thing, but if we're called to be religious, we have no need for this and so it might indicate vanity.

That got me thinking... for those who are discerning religious life, how should we dress, not just to not tempt anyone (of course immodesty is never something anyone should do) - but also not to make others (ie guys) consider us for marriage? I read about how some of the Saints dressed, like St Gemma, and they didn't really wear colours, just black... if we dress in a very modest way but with colours, patterns, etc, is that kind of sending the wrong message? how should we behave etc?

Sorry if this is kind of a silly question but I've never thought much about this before, and how I present myself to the world. I don't wear makeup anymore but I'm wondering about (minimal) jewellery and what colours/etc. I don't know if this is a silly question lol.

Thanks!

Edited March 14, 2012 by MarysLittleFlower

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I don't know. The way I dress very much varies... I am into the cute fluffy and frilly things, but I also wear lots of blacks, browns, whites, navies, etc. I would like to know everyone else's thoughts!

[Lilllabettt]

Dress according to your station in life. If you are a young, single Christian woman, dress like a young single Christian woman ought: modestly and and beautifully.

When and if you ever become a nun, that will be the time to dress like a nun.

[the171]

^ this. Even how we dress should glorify God. Like good artwork. It should point to something bigger. We can dress beautifully, but the attention must not be upon ourselves.

[Antigonos]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1331688154' post='2400364']
Dress according to your station in life. If you are a young, single Christian woman, dress like a young single Christian woman ought: modestly and and beautifully.

When and if you ever become a nun, that will be the time to dress like a nun.
[/quote]

IMO, excellent advice. I would add that classic good taste doesn't vary all that much. Apart from the fact that one doesn't have to renew one's wardrobe every time some new fashion appears, classic styles show that [1] you care about your appearance, and [2], rightly or wrongly, it sends an impression of sobriety and sense, which is always useful if you want to be thought a serious person. As for colors -- whatever suits your looks. Heavens, we've seen some extremely colorful habits but no one thinks the sisters who wear them are less devoted.

I went through this with two adolescent daughters, who were uncomfortable with some of the fads when they were in high school, but felt peer pressure. I'm happy to say that ultimately they agreed with me, and wound up even influencing some of their friends!

[Strictlyinkblot]

Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so we should treat it accordingly. I personally don't see anything wrong in makeup, jewellery as long as its discrete. As one abbess said to me 'Nothing that would distract in choir'. We know (usually) when we're dressed modestly and when we're not. I love colours. I get the most attention when I wear my sparkly red high heels.

[LeaRoma]

I think we should dress as any single Catholic woman should: modestly. We may not be looking to marry but we are still Christian witnesses in this world and we should present ourselves respectably. It may be shallow but people do judge by our appearances. The way we dress gives others a certain impression of us and we have a responsibility to make sure the impression we give is an appropriate one. That includes modest dressing, keeping make-up and jewellery discrete and modest as well so that we present ourselves with modestly, dignity and respect.

[mme_hardy]

I think Lillabett is giving you excellent advice.

"[color=#282828]I was reading a quote by a Saint (I'm sorry I forgot which Saint..) " You do need to be careful with saints; unlike the Pope ex cathedra, they're not infallible. Saints speak both to the world and to their own place and time. For instance, St. Jean Vianney gave a sermon that included scolding women for leaving their babies naked -- even when alone, for fear of their guardian angels! That has a lot more to do with the mores of the early 19th century in France than with eternity -- think of all the pictures you've seen of the Virgin with the baby Jesus naked except for a well-placed ribbon! Similarly, Padre Pio wouldn't hear the confession of a woman wearing "transparent stockings", i.e. nylons.[/color]
[color=#282828]By the way, the Vianney bit about babies is in the middle of a [url="http://www.theworkofgod.org/Library/Sermons/JdVianey/Sermons2.htm"]fire-and-brimstone sermon[/url] about many different sins; I like the part about cursing and obscenities. [/color]

[mme_hardy]

I was reading the Vianney sermon and this bit made me giggle:
"[color=#000000]I am going to explain to you, my dear brethren, what is understood by swearing, blasphemy, profanities, imprecations, and curses. Try to sleep well during this period"[/color]

[color=#000000]In other words, "I see you not paying attention." It's hard to imagine, overall, a sermon less likely to be dozed through.[/color]

[Annie12]

I would think that while we can dress modestly I think maybe it would be nice to wear a sign of faith like a cross or a miraculous medal. You wouldn't wear those with skinny jeans so yeah... what do you think?

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Wear modest clothing. Non-tight jeans/pantaloons (some dress pantaloons are so comfy!), skirts, dresses. You can wear jewelry--cute earrings, maybe a ring, and a necklace of some sort.

[Carmelshrimp]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1331769314' post='2400848']
I would think that while we can dress modestly I think maybe it would be nice to wear a sign of faith like a cross or a miraculous medal. You wouldn't wear those with skinny jeans so yeah... what do you think?
[/quote]
Actually I'd wear my crucifix or my medal of St Therese with [i]anything[/i] and I can't imagine God or Therese being offended in the least. (Their sense of sartorial elegance might be offended by the sight of my skinny legs and work boots, but that's another issue altogether )

[Annie12]

[quote name='Carmelshrimp' timestamp='1331802983' post='2401027']
Actually I'd wear my crucifix or my medal of St Therese with [i]anything[/i] and I can't imagine God or Therese being offended in the least. (Their sense of sartorial elegance might be offended by the sight of my skinny legs and work boots, but that's another issue altogether )
[/quote]
I was saying that one might not drift towards wearing skinny jeans or daisy dukes for example if they were wearing something that reflected God. Maybe I'm wrong but just a thought!

[mantellata]

I love St. Teresa of the Andes for good relevant advice on this one. She would make herself look lovely [i]because[/i] she had a vocation and out of respect for her future spouse. Who get's dressed up for Church these days? (sad)

Not to mention that those of us who want jobs or who have jobs do need to dress the part. It also works as a great evangelization tool. By this I mean I love the fact that people who talk to me about my entering a convent remark "but you're so [u][i]normal[/i][/u]" meaning, I do dress nicely (a little bling even) do my hair, make up, and act and converse as anyone else my age. I can then witness to the fact that yes indeed, [b][u]normal[/u][/b] women join communities.....

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1331828042' post='2401134']
I love St. Teresa of the Andes for good relevant advice on this one. She would make herself look lovely [i]because[/i] she had a vocation and out of respect for her future spouse. Who get's dressed up for Church these days? (sad)

Not to mention that those of us who want jobs or who have jobs do need to dress the part. It also works as a great evangelization tool. By this I mean I love the fact that people who talk to me about my entering a convent remark "but you're so [u][i]normal[/i][/u]" meaning, I do dress nicely (a little bling even) do my hair, make up, and act and converse as anyone else my age. I can then witness to the fact that yes indeed, [b][u]normal[/u][/b] women join communities.....
[/quote]

When eating lunch with a friend, her athiest friend came around and we were talking about nuns and things. He was so shocked that I was so NORMAL. When I left (yay work!) he told my friend "I can't believe I like her so much; she's so Catholic but so normal."

It's been a tool of evangelization, to be sure. He's asked me questions about the faith, and I have been sure to give he concrete answers as to why Catholics believe what we do. According to my friend, in high school this kid was not at all open to hearing the views of Christians.