Single Mother's And Abortion

[blacksheep]

Was at bingo with my aunt the other day and we were discussing a program my sisters, actual sisters not the habit ones, are involved in at church. It is a program to help single mothers who are pregnant with supplies and support so that they should keep their babies. Talking with my aunt however she thinks the idea is ludicrous. Her reasoning is that since they sinned they must deal with this problem on their own, and that our helping them is just a way for them to take advantage of God fearing people and continue their sinful lifestyle.

Obviously I cannot agree with her. I mean we constantly preach that abortion is wrong. Why shouldn't we help them in their hour of need? Is it christian just to leave them to the dogs? Is it right to say you can't have an abortion but you are on your own and don't ask us for any help? Are programs like these encouraging sinful behavior? There is something ultimately wrong with this kind of thinking...What do you all think?

Edited March 6, 2012 by blacksheep

[Selah]

It's saddening that your aunt thinks a child is a "problem". It was wrong for them to have sex out of wedlock, but she was still blessed with a child. And as the Church, we should welcome her with open arms. The Church is a hospital for sinners, and it is our duty to care for them.

I think what you have decided to do is a great idea. Compassion and kindness is something we need to show to those who need it. I wish I could help you. I will pray for you.

[Winchester]

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

Edited March 6, 2012 by Winchester

[blacksheep]

whoop's...sorry

[Winchester]

Not funny.

[Papist]

Is that too many sorry's

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='blacksheep' timestamp='1331044914' post='2396841']
whoop's...sorry
[/quote]
[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1331048949' post='2396870']
Is that too many sorry's
[/quote]



Hahaha I love you two and your sarcasm....

[Jaime]

[quote name='blacksheep' timestamp='1331043926' post='2396835']
Was at bingo with my aunt the other day and we were discussing a program my sisters, actual sisters not the habit ones, are involved in at church. It is a program to help single mothers who are pregnant with supplies and support so that they should keep their babies. Talking with my aunt however she thinks the idea is ludicrous. Her reasoning is that since they sinned they must deal with this problem on their own, and that our helping them is just a way for them to take advantage of God fearing people and continue their sinful lifestyle.

Obviously I cannot agree with her. I mean we constantly preach that abortion is wrong. Why shouldn't we help them in their hour of need? Is it christian just to leave them to the dogs? Is it right to say you can't have an abortion but you are on your own and don't ask us for any help? Are programs like these encouraging sinful behavior? There is something ultimately wrong with this kind of thinking...What do you all think?
[/quote]

One thing I've learned is that there isn't a woman on the planet who didn't need assistance raising a child. In a perfect situation, there is a husband to help with the responsibilities. If she has no husband, she will get help from her family. If there is no family, it has to come from the community.

I've never met a woman who didn't need help with a baby.

[Archaeology cat]

There's a place called The Divine Mercy House near us that takes in single pregnant women and helps them. Yes, these girls made a mistake, but shaming them won't help. Giving them help and support and teaching them will, though. And of course they need our prayers.

[Basilisa Marie]

It's pretty sad, because many women who get abortions do so because they feel they don't have enough support to be a parent or at least get through pregnancy. They'll get an abortion because they're so ashamed of someone finding out that they've had sex.

And, to a certain extent, aren't we [i]supposed [/i]to be taken advantage of as Christians? Shouldn't our hospitality astound?

[Selah]

[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1331061748' post='2396947']
It's pretty sad, because many women who get abortions do so because they feel they don't have enough support to be a parent or at least get through pregnancy. They'll get an abortion because they're so ashamed of someone finding out that they've had sex.

And, to a certain extent, aren't we [i]supposed [/i]to be taken advantage of as Christians? Shouldn't our hospitality astound?
[/quote]

You hit the nail right on the head.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1331049988' post='2396878']
There's a place called The Divine Mercy House near us that takes in single pregnant women and helps them. Yes, these girls made a mistake, but shaming them won't help. Giving them help and support and teaching them will, though. And of course they need our prayers.
[/quote]

I doubt there is a person on the planet who does not regret something or other in the past. We are all sinners, differing only in kind.
I agree that shaming them wont help, it probably will just develop a concept not to seek help from Catholics. As BM stated in anotherpost, our Catholicism and our acts of loving care should astound - be right outside the square whenever necessary, willing, caring and helpful - non judgemental.
Not only this, but the following taken from blacksheep's original post :..........
[b]"It is a program to help single mothers who are pregnant with supplies and support so that they should keep their babies."[/b]
............is two times a Corporal Work of Mercy and a Spiritual Work of Mercy - it is supportive of the single mother in need and emotionally and I would think spiritually as well. And it is a Corporal Work of Mercy in saving the life of the babe. It is a wonderful, wonderful endeavour!!! May God bless you and all involved and your apostolate and all intentions.
And I join with others in their prayers, not only for the mothers you will support,but for all mothers considering abortion - and all babies involved - and these prayers are a Spiritual Work of Mercy.
Perhaps your aunt comes from a generation of Catholics that mine do and tend therefore to be rather overly judgemental at times - and a reflection of a type of spirituality at times back then, seeing things as very much black and white. Not really their fault at times I tend to think.

Edited March 7, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[Cherie]

Unfortunately I know lots of devout Catholics with that mindset, as in, not attending the baby shower of a person they know because the baby was conceived out of wedlock. They equate it with attending a non-Catholic wedding, as in: attending the shower will necessarily mean you condone what happened, because the simple act of being present makes that silent statement whether you want it to or not. I disagree, though. I think the mom needs support and encouragement and I know too many people who were in bad situations, needed support from members of the Church, instead were pushed away, and are now very bitter and resentful of Catholics and Catholicism. We can always encourage these people to come back to the Lord if they are living in sin and more often than not that takes time and patience. Similar to what Mother Teresa said, we should err on the side of charity.

[BarbTherese]

Most definitely, to err on the side of Charity.
This is not a comment on the post by CM. Rather a general comment on some terms we commonly use. I am called to not judge and to love others even 'enemies' - not that I consider at all mothers who are not married as any sort of enemy or 'enemy'. We are all sinners and differ only in kind. We are all brothers and sisters, children of God. He has breathed us into existence and holds us in existence and each of us are His totally beloved children. In fact, I often admire unwed mothers that they choose to keep their baby and I have known a few quite young unmarried mothers who do wonderfully being a mother and make sacrifices to be a good mother, with or without the father of the child involved. Be this as it may, I personally uphold and believe that a child needs and has a right to a good mother and father and in a sound marital relationship. But then having lived previously in a suburb of every imaginable social problem, I have known married mothers and fathers who neglect terribly their children - some abusively so. I find the 'high and mighty' road of "he or she or they are living in sin' " difficult. Aren't most of us, even if it is only a temporary state. And for me, it is very temporary, if that! I know the term "living in sin" is used rather lightly and probably without much pre-thought at all - it is a cultural term very sadly for living together in a relationship outside of the marital state. But the moment I use the term "living in sin", I am sitting in judgement and Jesus has said: "judge not that you may not be judged". Although because often a person is not really conscious of what they are doing when they use that term "living in sin", the guilt of "judgement" probably is mitigated to that extent, or even non existent. Jesus has also told us that if we desire Mercy (I do and reallly need it and always will!), then it will be granted to the merciful. If I desire God to be Merciful to me, a sinner, then Jesus has told me the road to take. The road is merciful love.

I now and then reflect on Jesus and the woman (stated in The Gospel as "a sinner" [url="http://www.drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=49&ch=7&l=47#x"]http://www.drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=49&ch=7&l=47#x[/url] ) who anoints the Head of Jesus in the house of the Pharisee: "Much is forgiven her, because she has loved much".

My love of neighbour need rise above any sort of judgement at all to, with simplicity and compassion, love and care, to meet whatever need is apparent insofar as I can...... and exactly where that apparent need is at - and without totally any judgement on a person or persons in a moral sense at all. I share the common fallen and fallible human nature of all humanity - and I fault, fail etc. somewhere or other. Personally I tend for myself to think that only God can ever judge because only He knows the Grace(s) granted to avoid the failing, fault, sin, whatever. Some come from outstandingly blest backgrounds, others have had a background of nothing but suffering and deprivation - and everything inbetween all that can apply. "Man judges appearances, while The Lord knows the heart". I can only judge or assess rather (if necessary) by what appears to my limited and fallible human sight, reasoning etc., which may not be the actual reality at all.

A story I think it is from the Desert Fathers runs something like this: a monk is banned from Chapel for a week because of some serious infraction of Rule. Three days of that week pass and the Abbot is not in Chapel either. His council grows concerned and seeks him out fearing he might be ill. On asking him if he is ill, he replies: "I too am a sinner".

I must admit that I also sometimes wonder about the term 'devout Catholic' which here in Australia tends to mean a person always at Sunday Mass, sometimes weekday as well, supports the parish generally, and attends parish functions of various kinds. Full stop. To me that is a 'devout Catholic' in part, the other part is that the person is a follower of The Gospel 24hrs daily x 365 days yearly and is consistently challenged by The Gospel.

Off me pulpit!

Edited March 9, 2012 by BarbaraTherese

[Selah]

[quote]A story I think it is from the Desert Fathers runs something like this: a monk is banned from Chapel for a week because of some serious infraction of Rule. Three days of that week pass and the Abbot is not in Chapel either. His council grows concerned and seeks him out fearing he might be ill. On asking him if he is ill, he replies: "I too am a sinner".[/quote]

I love that story