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Hb's Randomocity Thread


HopefulBride

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HopefulBride

no, it's just men.

He's not the first to react that way and I'm guessing he won't be the last

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Men do take breakups harder than women actually. They're more likely to have less people to confide in than a female, she's more likely to keep all the mutual friends, etc. and this causes men to be more likely to engage in self destructive behaviors and depression than women.

I mean, personally:
[spoiler]
I know it took me a good year and a half to two years to get out of the deep depression I sank into after I was dumped by someone I loved more than I cared for myself. Looking back it, no, it wasn't a healthy relationship for either of us at the end spiritually and emotionally; but that pain was still there. I considered hurting myself for longer than I'm comfortable thinking back on. I saw a lot of priests and I worked under a lot psychologists at the time, and that sort of informal help from both groups helped me a great deal to see myself as being my own person; I didn't need someone else to be beholden to as my other half that I always thought of as being better than me and that I could and would move on.

Now though, I'm back to looking for a potential spouse and I wish she and her new boyfriend the best. He seems like a great guy and she deserves someone who will treat her as nicely and with the respect she deserves. I went on several "casual dates" this year, at least according to everyone who knew about them (six hour dinners, half a dozen of them in bistros and such) before being turned down when I used the D-word. But that's okay, B. and I are still friends and went to a concert together the other month.
[/spoiler]
Edit: Source: Simon, Robin W. and Anne Barrett. “Non-Marital Romantic Relationships and Mental Health in
Early Adulthood: Does the Association Differ for Women and Men?” Journal of Health and
Social Behavior 51: 168-182.

Edited by BG45
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HopefulBride

I wish men were able to see things differently though. I think part of the issue is what you said (lack of people to confide in) but there is also the lack of objective voice (I think) I have many girlfriends who wouldn't hesitate to tell me if the guy was a jerk and that I was being an idiot to want to stay with him - all in a loving way of course. However, I find that C had no one to tell him this girl was bad news (except for me, the ex-girlfriend) and though he knew it was coming from an objective place, he wanted so much to be in a relationship that he overlooked things he wouldn't have overlooked in a million years and found himself in love before he realized it.

Now he has his aunts and some female cousins speaking to him hopefully he doesn't dismiss their advice as they're just being protective and realize that he shouldn't pick this girl over himself.

Ok Ranting....

Over

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The objective voice thing could definitely be part of it too! He definitely has my prayers though, as someone who has been there.

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HopefulBride

well hopefully he keeps getting better from here... He keeps slipping from "I won't put myself through this" to maybe it's salvageable...

In other news... I made like 4 rosaries last night

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HopefulBride

Sooo my little student stalker came in the office today...twice and called a few times. As if that's not enough, the stalker employee who was explicitly told NOT to come near my building was [b][i]IN [/i][/b]my office, [b][i]IN!!!!!!![/i][/b].

I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm calm.....

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HopefulBride

Kolbe, you're a hot mess.

Yeah BG yesterday was rough but I somehow managed to survive. I also found out (right before going to bed) where I was supposed to go and how to go there. Now I'm back and our retreat planning is going very smoothly.

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