Maryland Priest Denies Communion To Lesbian At Funeral

[Strictlyinkblot]

Another article about the story. Tells things a little differently

[url="http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/exclusive-inside-sources-provide-new-info-on-priest-censured-for-denying-le"]http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/exclusive-inside-sources-provide-new-info-on-priest-censured-for-denying-le[/url]

[brandelynmarie]

You beat me to it, Strictly.

[AccountDeleted]

When I first read this article, I knew that it was going to become a way to attack the Church through one of her priests. I decided at that moment not to judge the priest because I wasn't there at the time and had no idea what actually occured. While I agree that these things should be handled privately and with discretion, I wanted to give the priest the benefit of the doubt because he is the one on the firing line. Whatever humiliation the woman suffered on the day, she has certainly put the priest through at least as much suffering since then byt the way she has handled the incident. She, too, could have handled it privately and with discretion through the diocese only, but she chose to try him in the court of public opinion.

As the story unfolds more every day, it becomes clear to me that none of us are in a position to know ALL of the facts, including the attitude of the woman and her family at the time or the physical and emotional condition of the priest who was placed in this very difficult situation.

Perhaps we should simply offer our prayers for all of these people, not only the priest and the woman, but the rest of the grieving family as well. Apart from the Communion issue, there is also the fact that this woman turned a family occasion for mourning into a media promotion of the gay lifestyle. If she had been my sister at my mother's funeral, I would have been devastated that she chose this occasion to confront a priest before Mass with the obvious intention to challenge his beliefs. It was unfair to the rest of the family, who may not all agee with her own beliefs or lifestyle choices. She could have chosen to handle all of this in a much different way from the beginning and she might have had a much better outcome.

It is a very sad situation for everyone.

[Katiebobatie94]

can i please, like i have done before, point out that people who are gay or lesbians do not by any means decide to be so.

not to mention this was a FUNERAL as if the poor woman wasn't hurting enough; she just lost her mom now she is publicly isolated from the one place where she needed consolation the most from.

the priest was wrong. i can understand the denial of communion, but leaving the altar during the eulogy and not going to the cemetery because he was "suddenly ill" was a very poor choice on his part.

i thought, and i could just be young and naive, but i always thought that we were supposed to LOVE our neighbor, not publicly chastize them for something like that. because **that is a great example for the church to be setting. that really get people into those pews.** while i am not a lesbian, i have a few close girl friends who are. they don't go to church because the people there tell them they are wrong and that they are bad. call me crazy but i don't think thats what we're supposed to be doing.

i don't know how many of you have ever seen the show degrassi, but in the older episodes there was a gay boy and he was publicly chastized by the Christian club at the school. the convo went like this:

**CC means Christian Club**
CC: you're christian?
boy: yeah. i go to church every sunday
CC: and they let you in?

i know i kind of just ranted, and i appologize. all i meant to say was that the priest could've had a lot better judgement, and so can some of the PM people. just sayin.

like i said, people who are gay or lesbian don't choose to be so and i just dont think we should be chastizing them the way we do.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Katiebobatie94

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Katiebobatie94' timestamp='1330815562' post='2395812']
can i please, like i have done before, point out that people who are gay or lesbians do not by any means decide to be so.

not to mention this was a FUNERAL as if the poor woman wasn't hurting enough; she just lost her mom now she is publicly isolated from the one place where she needed consolation the most from.

the priest was wrong. i can understand the denial of communion, but leaving the altar during the eulogy and not going to the cemetery because he was "suddenly ill" was a very poor choice on his part.

i thought, and i could just be young and naive, but i always thought that we were supposed to LOVE our neighbor, not publicly chastize them for something like that. because **that is a great example for the church to be setting. that really get people into those pews.** while i am not a lesbian, i have a few close girl friends who are. they don't go to church because the people there tell them they are wrong and that they are bad. call me crazy but i don't think thats what we're supposed to be doing.

i don't know how many of you have ever seen the show degrassi, but in the older episodes there was a gay boy and he was publicly chastized by the Christian club at the school. the convo went like this:

**CC means Christian Club**
CC: you're christian?
boy: yeah. i go to church every sunday
CC: and they let you in?

i know i kind of just ranted, and i appologize. all i meant to say was that the priest could've had a lot better judgement, and so can some of the PM people. just sayin.

like i said, people who are gay or lesbian don't choose to be so and i just dont think we should be chastizing them the way we do.
[/quote]

katie

I don't think anyone here is intending to attack gays or lesbians. And yes, perhaps the priest could have handled things differently but there are different versions of this story circulating that leave us open to give the benefit of the doubt to him as well as to her. The whole situation is sad, but she is partially responsible for her confronting behaviour before the Mass as well. It may be that the priest would very happily have offered her Communion had she not forced this confrontation on him before the Mass. The fact that we was barred from discussing the issue with her because of her partner blocking the doorway, also made it more difficult for him. He obviously became emotionally distressed himself as it is reported that he suffered a migraine during the funeral and had to excuse himself from the graveside services.

Feeling a same-sex attraction may not be a choice, but acting upon that feeling is a choice, just as being chaste or promiscuous is a choice. Those who suffer the cross of SSA have a decision to make - whether to honour the beliefs of their faith or not. If they choose to live out a gay liefstyle, then they must expect to experience the consequences of that choice, which could include being denied Communion. In fact, the woman herself should have denied herself Communion and not forced the priest into a difficult situation.

As I said before though, if she had chosen to handle this privately and quietly from the beginning, there would have been no media event or public humiliation. all I can think is that everyone was under a great deal of stress on the day because of the nature of the occasion, and they all acted in a manner that was less than admirable, the priest, the woman, the partner especially. That's why they all need our prayers.

[Katiebobatie94]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1330816680' post='2395819']
katie

I don't think anyone here is intending to attack gays or lesbians. And yes, perhaps the priest could have handled things differently but there are different versions of this story circulating that leave us open to give the benefit of the doubt to him as well as to her. The whole situation is sad, but she is partially responsible for her confronting behaviour before the Mass as well. It may be that the priest would very happily have offered her Communion had she not forced this confrontation on him before the Mass. The fact that we was barred from discussing the issue with her because of her partner blocking the doorway, also made it more difficult for him. He obviously became emotionally distressed himself as it is reported that he suffered a migraine during the funeral and had to excuse himself from the graveside services.

Feeling a same-sex attraction may not be a choice, but acting upon that feeling is a choice, just as being chaste or promiscuous is a choice. Those who suffer the cross of SSA have a decision to make - whether to honour the beliefs of their faith or not. If they choose to live out a gay liefstyle, then they must expect to experience the consequences of that choice, which could include being denied Communion. In fact, the woman herself should have denied herself Communion and not forced the priest into a difficult situation.

As I said before though, if she had chosen to handle this privately and quietly from the beginning, there would have been no media event or public humiliation. all I can think is that everyone was under a great deal of stress on the day because of the nature of the occasion, and they all acted in a manner that was less than admirable, the priest, the woman, the partner especially. That's why they all need our prayers.
[/quote]

yes but the fact that he was a preist, regardless of her sexual orientation, wasn't he supposed to be consoling her? losing a loved one is just as painful whether your gay or straight.

like i said, i understand, and completely agree with the denial of communion; but i don't understand why then if he had a headache, did he not take 2 advil and go to the cemetery? also, she wasn't the only in he was hurting by his choices to leave during the eulogy and not come to the cemetery, what about the rest of the family who was mourning? don't they deserve the consolation that is mentioned in the beatitudes?

i know there is always 3 sides to a story: yours, mine and what really happened but he still acted poorly and thats all i was trying to point out amdist my ranting and raving.

again i appologize for my ranting and raving.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Katiebobatie94' timestamp='1330818151' post='2395832']
yes but the fact that he was a preist, regardless of her sexual orientation, wasn't he supposed to be consoling her? losing a loved one is just as painful whether your gay or straight.

like i said, i understand, and completely agree with the denial of communion; but i don't understand why then if he had a headache, did he not take 2 advil and go to the cemetery? also, she wasn't the only in he was hurting by his choices to leave during the eulogy and not come to the cemetery, what about the rest of the family who was mourning? don't they deserve the consolation that is mentioned in the beatitudes?

i know there is always 3 sides to a story: yours, mine and what really happened but he still acted poorly and thats all i was trying to point out amdist my ranting and raving.

again i appologize for my ranting and raving.
[/quote]


Yes, he is a priest, and he is also a human being, one who was confronted by several aggressive and apparently hostile people (the woman, her partner and I think a brother or other family member according to one article) who seemed to want to challenge him on the issue of homosexuality.

Should he have acted like a saint and simply smiled and proceeded as if the incident prior to Mass had never occurred? Perhaps, if he could have done this, none of us would be having this discussion today. But he didn't. Why not? Because he is a human being who became confonted himself by an issue that he probably wrestles with interiorly all the time. Did he use poor judgment in this case? I don't know. That's for his Bishop to decide. I do understand why he did it though. Because he is human.

As for the rest of the family, yes, they suffered too. But this woman has no doubt caused them all a lot of suffering before this with her lifestyle choice. I don't believe that every member of her Catholic family agrees with her choices in the first place, or the way that she chose to confront the priest on this particular occasion. If he acted poorly in your eyes, what about the woman? Does her grief excuse her from all responsibility in this matter? It was her family, after all, that she hurt by her decision to make this an occasion to spout her views and challenge authority. She also acted poorly in my opinion and (in my opinion) set the stage for this very unfortunate event, causing distress and suffering to all. Was this really the appropriate forum for her declarations and activism?

As for the migraine, you obviously have never experienced one if you think two Advil will do the trick. Try two prescription Zomig, two Codis (aspirin and codeine) and a dark room for several hours in the simple 'hope' that the pain and nausea will cease.

As I said before ALL are at fault, and the priest is as human as any of the other participants. Would more pastoral counselling and training help him? Perhaps. But he is still a human who was faced with an aggressive and confrontal situation that none of us can judge from where we are.

[Groo the Wanderer]

folks with SSA that are supposedly Catholic should know better than to present themselves for communion IF they are not living in a chaste relationship. same goes for non-SSA Catholics.

the only thing that POs me about this more than the militant lesbian forcing herself on the priest and demanding communion are the folks defending her.

she should know better. they should know better. the priest was doing his job and again, thanklessly.

great job supporting our priests folks. satan attacks them daily, sometimes through 'us'. pray for our priests and quit knocking them.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Katiebobatie94' timestamp='1330818151' post='2395832']
yes but the fact that he was a preist, regardless of her sexual orientation, wasn't he supposed to be consoling her? losing a loved one is just as painful whether your gay or straight.

like i said, i understand, and completely agree with the denial of communion; but i don't understand why then if he had a headache, did he not take 2 advil and go to the cemetery? also, she wasn't the only in he was hurting by his choices to leave during the eulogy and not come to the cemetery, what about the rest of the family who was mourning? don't they deserve the consolation that is mentioned in the beatitudes?

i know there is always 3 sides to a story: yours, mine and what really happened but he still acted poorly and thats all i was trying to point out amdist my ranting and raving.

again i appologize for my ranting and raving.
[/quote]
and how do you know for sure that he is the one that acted poorly?

and have you ever had a migraine? some people literally have to lay down in a completely dark room and take very strong medicine. if you read the link that strictlyink provided, it tells a completely different story.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Groo the Wanderer' timestamp='1330820952' post='2395860']
folks with SSA that are supposedly Catholic should know better than to present themselves for communion IF they are not living in a chaste relationship. same goes for non-SSA Catholics.

the only thing that POs me about this more than the militant lesbian forcing herself on the priest and demanding communion are the folks defending her.

she should know better. they should know better. the priest was doing his job and again, thanklessly.

great job supporting our priests folks. satan attacks them daily, sometimes through 'us'. pray for our priests and quit knocking them.
[/quote]

Groo - although I admire your support for our priests, and I am the first to give them the benefit of the doubt, I don't think that attacking those who have another opinion is necesssarily helpful either. The priest may have made an error in judgment, or not, that is for his Bishop to decide, but we, in charity should give him the benefit of the doubt. We should also understand though that some priests have committed some horrible offences over the years and not everyone feels confident that priests always do the right thing or that their Bishops will correct them. That may be why we see some incidents played out in the media. Confidence in priests is no longer what it used to be but I don't think that we need to condemn those who are in doubt over this issue. Rather we should carefully point out that none of us knows the whole story. It doesn't appear as if anyone acted with dignity and discretion in this matter.

[cmotherofpirl]

What possessed this female to go and confront a priest about her lifestyle choices 5 minutes before her mother's funeral in the first place? She chose the time and place of this behavior then whines about the consequence...

[Slappo]

nevermind.

Edited March 4, 2012 by Slappo

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1330823855' post='2395887']
What possessed this female to go and confront a priest about her lifestyle choices 5 minutes before her mother's funeral in the first place? She chose the time and place of this behavior then whines about the consequence...
[/quote]

My thoughts exactly. What was she thinking?

I have a sister that likes to push things into confrontation as well, and perhaps this woman's grief just made her lose all emotional control at this time. I feel a great compassion for her, but really, this is what started the whole mess! And then her reaction after the event that made her feel the media was the place to play this scene out... truly disrespectful to the rest of the family who might have wanted to grieve privately.

[Katiebobatie94]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1330819005' post='2395840']


Yes, he is a priest, and he is also a human being, one who was confronted by several aggressive and apparently hostile people (the woman, her partner and I think a brother or other family member according to one article) who seemed to want to challenge him on the issue of homosexuality.

Should he have acted like a saint and simply smiled and proceeded as if the incident prior to Mass had never occurred? Perhaps, if he could have done this, none of us would be having this discussion today. But he didn't. Why not? Because he is a human being who became confonted himself by an issue that he probably wrestles with interiorly all the time. Did he use poor judgment in this case? I don't know. That's for his Bishop to decide. I do understand why he did it though. Because he is human.

As for the rest of the family, yes, they suffered too. But this woman has no doubt caused them all a lot of suffering before this with her lifestyle choice. I don't believe that every member of her Catholic family agrees with her choices in the first place, or the way that she chose to confront the priest on this particular occasion. If he acted poorly in your eyes, what about the woman? Does her grief excuse her from all responsibility in this matter? It was her family, after all, that she hurt by her decision to make this an occasion to spout her views and challenge authority. She also acted poorly in my opinion and (in my opinion) set the stage for this very unfortunate event, causing distress and suffering to all. Was this really the appropriate forum for her declarations and activism?

As for the migraine, you obviously have never experienced one if you think two Advil will do the trick. Try two prescription Zomig, two Codis (aspirin and codeine) and a dark room for several hours in the simple 'hope' that the pain and nausea will cease.

As I said before ALL are at fault, and the priest is as human as any of the other participants. Would more pastoral counselling and training help him? Perhaps. But he is still a human who was faced with an aggressive and confrontal situation that none of us can judge from where we are.
[/quote]
[quote name='Groo the Wanderer' timestamp='1330820952' post='2395860']
folks with SSA that are supposedly Catholic should know better than to present themselves for communion IF they are not living in a chaste relationship. same goes for non-SSA Catholics.

the only thing that POs me about this more than the militant lesbian forcing herself on the priest and demanding communion are the folks defending her.

she should know better. they should know better. the priest was doing his job and again, thanklessly.

great job supporting our priests folks. satan attacks them daily, sometimes through 'us'. pray for our priests and quit knocking them.
[/quote]
[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1330822227' post='2395878']
and how do you know for sure that he is the one that acted poorly?

and have you ever had a migraine? some people literally have to lay down in a completely dark room and take very strong medicine. if you read the link that strictlyink provided, it tells a completely different story.
[/quote]
[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1330822481' post='2395880']
Groo - although I admire your support for our priests, and I am the first to give them the benefit of the doubt, I don't think that attacking those who have another opinion is necesssarily helpful either. The priest may have made an error in judgment, or not, that is for his Bishop to decide, but we, in charity should give him the benefit of the doubt. We should also understand though that some priests have committed some horrible offences over the years and not everyone feels confident that priests always do the right thing or that their Bishops will correct them. That may be why we see some incidents played out in the media. Confidence in priests is no longer what it used to be but I don't think that we need to condemn those who are in doubt over this issue. Rather we should carefully point out that none of us knows the whole story. It doesn't appear as if anyone acted with dignity and discretion in this matter.
[/quote]

okay i will admit:

-no one acted properly and everyone involved was at fault.
-telling the man as he was getting ready to celebrate mass was a very poor choice on her part mainly for the sole purpose that you don't do that at your mother's funeral. that is your mother and that is NOT the place to bring that up and then be confrontational about it
-yes, she should've known to not receive communion, especially if she was born & raised catholic and did teach in a catholic school
-he is human, i know that, i will admit that and in certain situations we [as humans] can act without thinking & open our mouths without thinking

overall this could have been handled a lot better and in a much better setting. also, i would like to point out that i did say that we don't know what actually happened. there are 3 sides to every story: your, mine, and what really happened

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1330819005' post='2395840']

As for the rest of the family, yes, they suffered too. But this woman has no doubt caused them all a lot of suffering before this with her lifestyle choice. I don't believe that every member of her Catholic family agrees with her choices in the first place, or the way that she chose to confront the priest on this particular occasion. If he acted poorly in your eyes, what about the woman? Does her grief excuse her from all responsibility in this matter? It was her family, after all, that she hurt by her decision to make this an occasion to spout her views and challenge authority. She also acted poorly in my opinion and (in my opinion) set the stage for this very unfortunate event, causing distress and suffering to all. Was this really the appropriate forum for her declarations and activism?
[/quote]

yes chances are the family didn't take too kindly to the idea of her sexual orientation but i can almost guarantee you that over time whether they agree with it or not, they came to terms with it because ultimately if they love her they would just want to see her happy. and i agree, mother's is not the place to bring this up.

im sorry i said anything in the first place, i should've just kept the mouth shut. i will admit i am wrong and that none of us (myself included) should be passing judgement seeing as how none of us were actually there. i appologize and i'll just keep my motuh shut, i've learned my lesson.

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1330823855' post='2395887']
What possessed this female to go and confront a priest about her lifestyle choices 5 minutes before her mother's funeral in the first place? She chose the time and place of this behavior then whines about the consequence...
[/quote]

i agree, that was certainly not the time nor the place

[Katiebobatie94]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1330824345' post='2395893']
My thoughts exactly. What was she thinking?

I have a sister that likes to push things into confrontation as well, and perhaps this woman's grief just made her lose all emotional control at this time. I feel a great compassion for her, but really, this is what started the whole mess! And then her reaction after the event that made her feel the media was the place to play this scene out... truly disrespectful to the rest of the family who might have wanted to grieve privately.
[/quote]

agreed, i didn't see this originally.