School Anxiety And Whatnot

[tinytherese]

I have to take 17 credit hours so that I can graduate in May which involves a lot of work. I'm thorough to a fault so I'm behind on my work, especially on my senior seminar on the Theology of the Body.

I suspect that I have at least one learning disability, but there's nowhere in town that diagnoses it, and I've asked the school but they won't give me any straight answers on whether or not someone can diagnose me here. I'm multiple states away from home which has facilities where I can get diagnosed. I've never gone through the process before so I don't know what it's like. Would the one week time I'd be back home even be enough time for them to make an accurate answer?

I suspect that I have an ear infection which may take how long to adequately treat and I also suspect a lump in one of my breasts.

My Christology class is tough and our professor believes that study guides are beneath the dignity of college students. I beg to differ.

I don't have any real friends at this school and I want to finally get closure from the Catholic sorority on campus that rejected me last year. I have questions for them that I want answered, but I'm afraid that they'll interpret me as being judgmental and unforgiving. I know that I struggle with negative thinking which includes not giving people the benefit of the doubt. From my interactions with certain people, I wonder if they are trustworthy. I've been hurt in the past by trusting too much because of loyalty to people. I don't want to judge them but sometimes I think you've gotta call a spade a spade.

I've especially anxious regarding my future. Should I do graduate school and if so which one? Having a master's in theology would open more doors for me career wise especially in this competitive bad economy. I keep looking at programs and most of them seem so...weird and unfitting for me. I'd rather not take courses that I already did at the graduate level, or a lot of programs are set up for people who have other commitments that meet once a month or once a week which wouldn't be good for how I learn. I'd like actual experience in the field of catechesis instead of just taking classes on it. I don't want to have to do an internship at home though since it is so painful for me to be home with the issues going on there such as the way that my dad is treating my mom and brother or how my little brother isn't being disciplined or if he is then weakly so which is stressful.