What Men Want (Do-Over)

[Adrestia]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329686251' post='2389542']

I think she means skipping the part where they calmly and rationally explain the same thing over and over only to get ignored and instead they jump straight to the sarcastic part.
[/quote]

Ahh. Thanks. I really do need things explained to me.

[Maggyie]

I will respond to your OP and say I think it's wrong for Jason Evert to teach that it's emasculating for women to propose to men. The Church has no teaching on this subject, it is just a cultural tradition left over from times when were required to be more passive in their relationships and in the world. Most men prefer to propose themselves as it's cultural tradition but if he experiences it as "emasculating" when the girl he loves wants to get married to him then personally I think that's good material for a counselor or even a therapist. Deciding to marry is a decision couples should make together as partners after careful discernment together.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329686251' post='2389542']
I think she means skipping the part where they calmly and rationally explain the same thing over and over only to get ignored and instead they jump straight to the sarcastic part.
[/quote]

Yeah, sorry, this is what I meant.

[arfink]

I'm just going to look at the subject line and ignore the OP post: I am a man. Here are some things I want, in no particular order:

[img]http://www.joystickvault.com/data/1192/Ragna_1.JPG[/img]

[img]http://www.deliasbrickovenpizza.com/photos/pizza.jpg[/img]

[img]http://media.fooducate.com/blog/posts/dietcoke.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.thesupercars.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/2009-bugatti-164-veyron-fbg-par-hermes-thumbnail.jpg[/img]

[Hubertus]

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1329686513' post='2389551']
I will respond to your OP and say I think it's wrong for Jason Evert to teach that it's emasculating for women to propose to men. The Church has no teaching on this subject, it is just a cultural tradition left over from times when were required to be more passive in their relationships and in the world. Most men prefer to propose themselves as it's cultural tradition but if he experiences it as "emasculating" when the girl he loves wants to get married to him then personally I think that's good material for a counselor or even a therapist. Deciding to marry is a decision couples should make together as partners after careful discernment together.
[/quote] I don't think it's as simple as "the girl he loves wanting to get married to him." The woman in a relationship can convey this desire without outright proposing to the man. I do agree that it's a couple's decision, though. And you are right, it is a cultural standard. But I think that's the context in which Jason Evert was speaking. In American conservative culture, if I were dating a girl and she proposed to me, it would be pretty, um... off-putting, and I would be disappointed because it would be something I would want to do myself, in other words emasculating. Tradition is a big deal to me, and I would want the same in my potential spouse as well.

[arfink]

Now that my requisite inanity is out of the way, I'll say this: Jason Evert can put his shoe up his nose. I wouldn't be emasculated one iota if a girl asked me out. Would I like to be the one who asks? Sure, why not. Would I care if I wasn't? No, not really.

[Maggyie]

[quote name='Hubertus' timestamp='1329688012' post='2389572']
I don't think it's as simple as "the girl he loves wanting to get married to him." The woman in a relationship can convey this desire without outright proposing to the man. I do agree that it's a couple's decision, though. And you are right, it is a cultural standard. But I think that's the context in which Jason Evert was speaking. In American conservative culture, if I were dating a girl and she proposed to me, it would be pretty, um... off-putting, and I would be disappointed because it would be something I would want to do myself, in other words emasculating. Tradition is a big deal to me, and I would want the same in my potential spouse as well.
[/quote]

I think most girls do that, sort of "convey" what they want without actually saying it. And I understand why most men want to propose themselves... it's just kind of their thing that they do. I definitely didn't want to propose to my husband, because I wanted things the traditional way. But is it appropriate to categorize it as "emasculating" if the girl does it first? Does it really make a man, feel like less of a man? Like his sexual prowess has been called into question?

[4588686]

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1329689292' post='2389591']
I think most girls do that, sort of "convey" what they want without actually saying it. And I understand why most men want to propose themselves... it's just kind of their thing that they do. I definitely didn't want to propose to my husband, because I wanted things the traditional way. But is it appropriate to categorize it as "emasculating" if the girl does it first? Does it really make a man, feel like less of a man? Like his sexual prowess has been called into question?
[/quote]


My wife proposed to me. While I did accept the proposal I experienced incessant impotence for about four and a half years.

Edited February 19, 2012 by Hasan

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329679664' post='2389462']
Mary was thirteen when she conceived Jesus Christ. So you think God was at long debate because, after all, she's just a kid? What about John the Apostle? He was fifteen when Jesus called him to be a fisher of men. Did Jesus go "Hm... He has good qualities, but the handicap of him being fifteen makes him ineligible."?
[/quote]
Do you believe that AD 1st century Israel and AD 21st century USA have the same culture?

[Hubertus]

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1329689292' post='2389591']
I think most girls do that, sort of "convey" what they want without actually saying it. And I understand why most men want to propose themselves... it's just kind of their thing that they do. I definitely didn't want to propose to my husband, because I wanted things the traditional way. But is it appropriate to categorize it as "emasculating" if the girl does it first? Does it really make a man, feel like less of a man? Like his sexual prowess has been called into question?
[/quote] I wouldn't call it emasculating in the sense that his sexual prowess is in question, but in that it takes away from the man's role in making himself vulnerable to the woman. It's a sign of respect for the woman, chivalrous if you will, so it would be like she was preventing him from giving her that gift. I don't think Hasan being proposed to was bad, but I would encourage men proposing if I were speaking to an audience like Jason Evert does. It goes with the rest of the message he teaches, that men should be gentlemen, which is a message that needs to be emphasized in this culture where men think they need to be jerks to women in order to get the girl they want. (and the girls cooperate because they can't find anyone better)

Edited February 19, 2012 by Hubertus

[PhuturePriest]

Seeing as how this thread is just about dead, I would like to say that today I have obtained ultimate victory, as I have posted more posts than anyone else on the site today. Roma Victor!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Hubertus' timestamp='1329690580' post='2389604']
I wouldn't call it emasculating in the sense that his sexual prowess is in question, but in that it takes away from the man's role in making himself vulnerable to the woman. It's a sign of respect for the woman, chivalrous if you will, so it would be like she was preventing him from giving her that gift. I don't think Hasan being proposed to was bad, but I would encourage men proposing if I were speaking to an audience like Jason Evert does. It goes with the rest of the message he teaches, that men should be gentlemen, which is a message that needs to be emphasized in this culture where men think they need to be jerks to women in order to get the girl they want. (and the girls cooperate because they can't find anyone better)
[/quote]

Precisely.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329691311' post='2389610']
Seeing as how this thread is just about dead, I would like to say that today I have obtained ultimate victory, as I have posted more posts than anyone else on the site today. Roma Victor!
[/quote]

Way back in the day that feat would have gotten you a thread titled "FuturePriest has a problem..." lol

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' timestamp='1329691472' post='2389614']
Way back in the day that feat would have gotten you a thread titled "FuturePriest has a problem..." lol
[/quote]

Your negativity disturbs me...

[MissMaro]

[quote name='Adrestia' timestamp='1329679003' post='2389453']
I doubt all men want the same thing or view women the same way.

Also, I'm stunned that so many adults here are getting so wrapped up in and bent out of shape over the opinions of a kid.
[/quote]

I'm just stunned that a kid would try to give a bunch of adults advice on "how to be a man" and "how to behave as a woman." He wouldn't take advice from a twelve year old, so why would he expect adults to take advice from someone who's even farther removed from them developmentally than a twelve year-old is from him.

And I remember being fifteen perfectly well. No one would have taken my advice seriously back then and nobody should have. But frankly I think the responses have been relatively gentle. Certainly nothing compared to other on-line forums that will remain nameless...