A Secret All Women Should Know

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1329758693' post='2390051']
MM's statement is fallacious. If it is not, then one can't speak on anything not experienced in. A divorce counselor must be divorced, AA facilitator must be an alcoholic, etc.
[/quote]
She said BOTH 15 year old and not planning on dating. I wouldn't see a 15 year old about a divorce or alcoholism, either.

[Papist]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329759129' post='2390053']
She said BOTH 15 year old and not planning on dating. I wouldn't see a 15 year old about a divorce or alcoholism, either.
[/quote]

I understand. However, it implies his words are of no value b/c he is 15 and never dated. I don't believe that is fair or just. I'd rather see his words addressed rather his age or relationship status.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1329760178' post='2390067']
I understand. However, it implies his words are of no value b/c he is 15 and never dated. I don't believe that is fair or just. I'd rather see his words addressed rather his age or relationship status.
[/quote]
And they have been. As has the topic of disregarding opinions because of age.

[Papist]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329760372' post='2390069']
And they have been. As has the topic of disregarding opinions because of age.
[/quote]

I haven't gotten through the whole thread. I just replied to that post, which was regarding that post, not the thread. Please, I am not trying to fight you. I guess it is my father instinct to come to the aid of this 15 year old boy.

Edited February 20, 2012 by Papist

[Basilisa Marie]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329754966' post='2390005']
Notice how he says that with Jesus, there was no "Go, experience life first, then come, follow me." As he points out, the only time he told someone to put it off just a little while longer is when he told the rich man to get rid of his possessions. I'm not very attracted to marriage, and I have no interest in going out on a date. I'll go out on a date if the Religious life doesn't work out, but until further notice, or unless I feel a real call in the opposite direction, I have my sights on the Religious life.
[/quote]

Well, it's blessing that you're so certain, then. I felt similarly certain about my call to marriage from an early age, but until I met the man whom in all likelihood I'm going to marry, I kept a tiny part of my heart open to the possibility that God might smack me upside the head and show me a different direction. Similar things have happened with my friends, both discerning religious life and marriage. That's the only reason why I'm a bit cautious. Not because young = dumb (which obviously isn't true), but because young = more time for God to show you amazing things you've never dreamed of. That's all. You'd probably have to wait until you're 18 to join the FBM, right?

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1329755851' post='2390016']
I agree with what everyone is saying here. You can't completely cut yourself off from everything besides the priesthood. In order for God to completely work in your life you have to have a bit of docility to mold you into the man he wants you to be. Without that, you aren't letting yourself completely be open to His will, and you're not letting yourself truly be a man of God. You can't be a true man of God without Him, and in order to be with Him you have to be open to whatever it is He's calling you to, and it may or may not be the preisthood. Docility, pray for docility.

AND have you ever heard of financial aid for college? If you work your butt off in school and get the grades you could be eligible for fifty bagillion scholarships and maybe a few grants. Just pointing out some options. Some very poor people in this country have worked really hard and made it through college, don't make the excuse of not being able to afford it. many priests I know have various degrees, and in my opinion it helps them for their benefit to connect better with the working people of their congregation.

Just more things to consider. Don't cut yourself off.
[/quote]

I'm not cutting myself off, I simply have my sights set on this. If it doesn't work out, or if I no longer feel called to it, I'll look at something else. I am looking at more than one thing right now. I'm looking at a few Communities, as well as the FSSP and the Diocesan Priesthood, I'm simply not drawn towards anything else except the Religious life. There is no secular job that appeals to me. They used to, but once I felt called to the Religious life, nothing sounds appealing anymore.

[mysisterisalittlesister]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329754770' post='2390003']


Well, I'm pretty much no longer looking. The Franciscan Brothers Minor are exactly what I've been looking for: holy men that live the real way Saint Francis did. They not only claim they do, they live it, and it's self-evident. Father David Mary thinks exactly the same way I do about things, and I love the Community. Here is more by him that is more direct: http://franciscanbrothersminor.com/FBM/Discernment_Part_VIII.html
[/quote] I understand how you're feeling. You think that there is NO WAY you could be anything else than an FSSP. You think your called, and honestly, you probably are. But that doesn't mean that that's that. As I<3LSOP said, it's perfectly fine to go to dances and date, even though you don't really feel attracted to it. It doesn't mean that if you date you're going to get married, but it's good to have experience with other life styles. Who knows, maybe it will strengthen your desire to be a priest!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1329761641' post='2390085']
Well, it's blessing that you're so certain, then. I felt similarly certain about my call to marriage from an early age, but until I met the man whom in all likelihood I'm going to marry, I kept a tiny part of my heart open to the possibility that God might smack me upside the head and show me a different direction. Similar things have happened with my friends, both discerning religious life and marriage. That's the only reason why I'm a bit cautious. Not because young = dumb (which obviously isn't true), but because young = more time for God to show you amazing things you've never dreamed of. That's all. You'd probably have to wait until you're 18 to join the FBM, right?
[/quote]
[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1329761641' post='2390085']
Well, it's blessing that you're so certain, then. I felt similarly certain about my call to marriage from an early age, but until I met the man whom in all likelihood I'm going to marry, I kept a tiny part of my heart open to the possibility that God might smack me upside the head and show me a different direction. Similar things have happened with my friends, both discerning religious life and marriage. That's the only reason why I'm a bit cautious. Not because young = dumb (which obviously isn't true), but because young = more time for God to show you amazing things you've never dreamed of. That's all. You'd probably have to wait until you're 18 to join the FBM, right?
[/quote]
[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1329761641' post='2390085']
Well, it's blessing that you're so certain, then. I felt similarly certain about my call to marriage from an early age, but until I met the man whom in all likelihood I'm going to marry, I kept a tiny part of my heart open to the possibility that God might smack me upside the head and show me a different direction. Similar things have happened with my friends, both discerning religious life and marriage. That's the only reason why I'm a bit cautious. Not because young = dumb (which obviously isn't true), but because young = more time for God to show you amazing things you've never dreamed of. That's all. You'd probably have to wait until you're 18 to join the FBM, right?
[/quote]

It's actually seventeen because the Franciscan Brothers Minor are so amesome.

And I know it's a possibility that I'm not called to the Religious life. I just feel called to Religious life, and others are absolutely certain that I am too. Some don't even have a shadow of a doubt that I'll become a Priest.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='mysisterisalittlesister' timestamp='1329762284' post='2390096']
I understand how you're feeling. You think that there is NO WAY you could be anything else than an FSSP. You think your called, and honestly, you probably are. But that doesn't mean that that's that. As I<3LSOP said, it's perfectly fine to go to dances and date, even though you don't really feel attracted to it. It doesn't mean that if you date you're going to get married, but it's good to have experience with other life styles. Who knows, maybe it will strengthen your desire to be a priest!
[/quote]

To be far, I don't feel as called to the FSSP as I do the Diocesan Priesthood or Franciscan Brothers Minor. I simply really like them and I am still considering them.

[MissScripture]

FP- Obviously I don't know you personally, so I don't know, maybe you do have a lot of friends who are female, but if you don't, I would definitely encourage you to get to know some girls, at least as friends. You said somewhere, something about not wanting to date because girls were so confusing or something along those lines. I know you were saying that tongue in cheek, but I'm sure, as with most guys, there is some truth in it (that girls are confusing). But I would encourage you to make sure you get to know at least somewhat how girls minds work, because when/if you become a priest, part of your congregation will be made up of females, and you do not want to alienate them.

[Papist]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329763748' post='2390124']
FP- Obviously I don't know you personally, so I don't know, maybe you do have a lot of friends who are female, but if you don't, I would definitely encourage you to get to know some girls, at least as friends. You said somewhere, something about not wanting to date because girls were so confusing or something along those lines. I know you were saying that tongue in cheek, but I'm sure, as with most guys, there is some truth in it (that girls are confusing). But I would encourage you to make sure you get to know at least somewhat how girls minds work, because when/if you become a priest, part of your congregation will be made up of females, and you do not want to alienate them.
[/quote]

Yes FuturePriest387. Life experiences will serve you well when you are a priest. Talk to them. Listen to them. Share with them.


[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329618420' post='2389123']
This has been touched on in another thread, but I feel I should put my own thoughts on it.

Despite obviously not planning to get married and instead aspiring to be a Franciscan, I feel women should know that I personally find modesty is much more attractive. I find the Duggar girls in their ankle-long skirts and modest shirts much more attractive than a woman in a bikini. I absolutely hate all make-up, as I feel it not only makes you less attractive, but it shows you aren't self-confident, and this detracts most men. I do not like it when women flirt with me. Not only is flirting at all in poor taste, but it makes me feel emasculated. As Jason Evert says in one of his books that I can't seem to remember, the man is the initiator. He is the one that makes the first move, not the other way around. The most emasculating thing I can think of is a woman asking me out or proposing to me. The very thought makes me shudder, and if there is any advice I can give it would be not to initiate the first move, even if the guy is too shy to ask you out. The reason he does this is fear of rejection. If you're not worth this rejection in his eyes, he is not worthy of you, and you need to look on. If you ask him out because you know he wants to, it doesn't make the matter better. All you've done is make him think that he can get away with not having to initiate the relationship, and this may ruin his idea of the man's role in a relationship forever.

Do not wear too much perfume. Most women put too much on, and it becomes far too strong and gags us out. The last thing you want is the guy to have a headache and to keep his distance on a date.

If you have any questions just ask. I'll give my personal input on the matter. I'm hopefully never going to date in my life, as this means I didn't become a Franciscan, but I still feel that women need to know what guys actually think.

P.S. If there are words that don't make sense I am on my iPod and the auto-ccorrect is really ineffective.
[/quote]

FuturePriest387,

God bless you for your discernment to the priesthood. May the Holy Spirit bless you with the wisdom to see His will, and bless you with the courage to follow it.

I love your enthusiasm and eagerness proclaim for the Church. Please continue. However, I would like give you some advice. It is on the lines of what Red was saying. When talking/posting/etc., it is best to explain what your thoughts/beliefs/etc. are and then explain why you think/believe/etc. such. Be succinct and avoid conjecture, e.g. “I absolutely hate all make-up, as I feel it not only makes you less attractive, but it shows you aren't self-confident, and this detracts most men”. I doubt make-up is a sign of a woman’s lack of self-confidence.

Also, take a break from creating new topics and just enjoy the scenery for a while.

God bless you.

Edited February 20, 2012 by Papist

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1329763748' post='2390124']
FP- Obviously I don't know you personally, so I don't know, maybe you do have a lot of friends who are female, but if you don't, I would definitely encourage you to get to know some girls, at least as friends. You said somewhere, something about not wanting to date because girls were so confusing or something along those lines. I know you were saying that tongue in cheek, but I'm sure, as with most guys, there is some truth in it (that girls are confusing). But I would encourage you to make sure you get to know at least somewhat how girls minds work, because when/if you become a priest, part of your congregation will be made up of females, and you do not want to alienate them.
[/quote]

Oh, don't worry about that. Most of my family is women (Not immediate family like siblings, but aunts and cousins). I mostly speak and hang around women, and I can actually speak to them easier than I can with guys. That's not to say I'm uncomfortable speaking with guys my age. I prefer to talk to adult men, but girls my age are more mature and can hold up a conversation better than men my age, so I find myself talking to them more. Perhaps this is why I go to Vocation Station mostly, which I personally refer to as the estrogen ocean.

But yeah, I think in terms of being able to speak with women as a Priest or Friar, I'll do fine.

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329762238' post='2390092']
I'm not cutting myself off, I simply have my sights set on this. If it doesn't work out, or if I no longer feel called to it, I'll look at something else. I am looking at more than one thing right now. I'm looking at a few Communities, as well as the FSSP and the Diocesan Priesthood, I'm simply not drawn towards anything else except the Religious life. There is no secular job that appeals to me. They used to, but once I felt called to the Religious life, nothing sounds appealing anymore.
[/quote]

Ah but see something that doesn't sound appealing now, might sound very appealing later. Or vice versa.

And I don't know about anyone else, but to me it does seem like you're cutting yourself off. You may not even be realizing it, because i've been reading all of these posts and your responses to some of these are contradictory to what you originally said.

I'm just trying to give you more options to think about to help you, I don't want you to take anything personally. It's ultimately your choice of what you decide to do, but think about it from all aspects even if it doesn't sound appealing.

[regina_coeli]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329754966' post='2390005']
Notice how he says that with Jesus, there was no "Go, experience life first, then come, follow me." As he points out, the only time he told someone to put it off just a little while longer is when he told the rich man to get rid of his possessions. I'm not very attracted to marriage, and I have no interest in going out on a date. I'll go out on a date if the Religious life doesn't work out, but until further notice, or unless I feel a real call in the opposite direction, I have my sights on the Religious life.
[/quote]

Since many of the apostles were married and established in their careers of fishing or tax collecting or whatever, I think they had life experience already. And that made the decision even more important!

Edited February 20, 2012 by regina_coeli

[AudreyGrace]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1329678344' post='2389445']
You are still speaking as though the focus of women's lives is to find a man. Women shouldn't be doing or not doing ANYTHING to get a man. The idea is demeaning - and that is against the very values you are trying to promote with the idea of modesty. Women are not valued based on their attractiveness to men or on their virtue in the eyes of a man - they have value because of who they are in the eyes of God. Your attitude towards women is of the same flavor as the attitude of men who objectify women. They objectify women's bodies - you objectify their person. It is no woman's job to make you feel masculine.

I'm going to take this out of the realm of dating as well. The perfect woman as you describe her seems to me to be submissive, existing only to please man, and incredibly stupid seeing as she needs you to tell her how to be a woman. Where would our Church be without Catherine of Siena, Clare of Assisi, Teresa of Avila... all women of initiative who saw needs that men didn't and filled them, often making other people quite uncomfortable by challenging the status quo?

Real Christian women are confident, compassionate, intelligent, and strong women of faith. They are faithful, passionate, and committed workers for the Kingdom of God. They aren't dolls or decorations that you get to dress up the way you think they should be. Let God form them into the women they are supposed to be - that's His job. It is not the job of women to make you feel masculine.

I know you are only fifteen but you are voicing some twisted views about the roles of men and women. There are young women on this site who might be tempted to believe what you are saying because they are young and are still finding themselves and they do want to be found attractive by what they see as a nice young catholic man. It is very tempting to believe that you can be a good Catholic girl when you are presented with the very easy option of wearing the right thing, not wearing makeup, and not taking initiative.

Again, words matter. You should be more guarded with yours. It's called prudence and it is a very masculine quality to have.

Prayers for you.
Sister Marie
[/quote]


Well said! All I can say is thank you. All of this is so, so true. Granted I'm only 19, I can attest to what it's like to try to conform myself to become the "picture perfect Catholic girl" in order to attract a nice, Catholic boy. Recently, I stopped trying and just focused on the fact that my relationship with God is what should and would attract good men to me because as a woman, that's what we naturally do! And don't you know...as soon as I realize this and forget everything about trying to fit a mold to please guys, I get pursued by a holy Catholic man for the first time ever. Praise God.