PhuturePriest Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 This has been touched on in another thread, but I feel I should put my own thoughts on it. Despite obviously not planning to get married and instead aspiring to be a Franciscan, I feel women should know that I personally find modesty is much more attractive. I find the Duggar girls in their ankle-long skirts and modest shirts much more attractive than a woman in a bikini. I absolutely hate all make-up, as I feel it not only makes you less attractive, but it shows you aren't self-confident, and this detracts most men. I do not like it when women flirt with me. Not only is flirting at all in poor taste, but it makes me feel emasculated. As Jason Evert says in one of his books that I can't seem to remember, the man is the initiator. He is the one that makes the first move, not the other way around. The most emasculating thing I can think of is a woman asking me out or proposing to me. The very thought makes me shudder, and if there is any advice I can give it would be not to initiate the first move, even if the guy is too shy to ask you out. The reason he does this is fear of rejection. If you're not worth this rejection in his eyes, he is not worthy of you, and you need to look on. If you ask him out because you know he wants to, it doesn't make the matter better. All you've done is make him think that he can get away with not having to initiate the relationship, and this may ruin his idea of the man's role in a relationship forever. Do not wear too much perfume. Most women put too much on, and it becomes far too strong and gags us out. The last thing you want is the guy to have a headache and to keep his distance on a date. If you have any questions just ask. I'll give my personal input on the matter. I'm hopefully never going to date in my life, as this means I didn't become a Franciscan, but I still feel that women need to know what guys actually think. P.S. If there are words that don't make sense I am on my iPod and the auto-ccorrect is really ineffective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximilianus Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 to expound: the Church is rarely black and white. It is mostly shades of grey. you use too many "always" and "never" and absolutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1329618760' post='2389127'] to expound: the Church is rarely black and white. It is mostly shades of grey. you use too many "always" and "never" and absolutes. [/quote] I'm going off Jason Every here. If you don't like the best Catholic chastity speaker of our time and perhaps ever, than I'm sorry he offends you with his traditionalist ideals. I like the way things used to be. I'm an old-fashioned '50s type of guy. I even prefer the fashions, music, dancing, and Church from back then. Also, you say the Church is rarely black and white. This is false. The Church is 95% black and white. Women can't be Priests, confession must be in person, the Eucharist is really Christ, etc. That's all pretty black and white to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMaro Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 I guess this is why relatively few dating books are written by fifteen year-olds who never even plan on dating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximilianus Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Love this post! Thanks for the encouragement to all us modest-dressers out here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 look, I don't really have time to type out a response to you tonight, but suffice to say there's a reason the Church doesn't expound on things like make-up, a person's dress, and other non-essential things to argue about. That's the grey area I'm talking about - not Faith and Morals stuff. And please - Jason Evert is great, but he's just another voice on chastity - in your opinion he's great, (I like him too), but he's not the best speaker EVAH. And again - because you are young, you speak in absolutes "Never wear make-up" "Always wear dresses" "Don't ever do this" etc. Nuance, my friend, nuance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1329618420' post='2389123'] This has been touched on in another thread, but I feel I should put my own thoughts on it. Despite obviously not planning to get married and instead aspiring to be a Franciscan, I feel women should know that I personally find modesty is much more attractive. I find the Duggar girls in their ankle-long skirts and modest shirts much more attractive than a woman in a bikini. I absolutely hate all make-up, as I feel it not only makes you less attractive, but it shows you aren't self-confident, and this detracts most men. I do not like it when women flirt with me. Not only is flirting at all in poor taste, but it makes me feel emasculated. As Jason Evert says in one of his books that I can't seem to remember, the man is the initiator. He is the one that makes the first move, not the other way around. The most emasculating thing I can think of is a woman asking me out or proposing to me. The very thought makes me shudder, and if there is any advice I can give it would be not to initiate the first move, even if the guy is too shy to ask you out. The reason he does this is fear of rejection. If you're not worth this rejection in his eyes, he is not worthy of you, and you need to look on. If you ask him out because you know he wants to, it doesn't make the matter better. All you've done is make him think that he can get away with not having to initiate the relationship, and this may ruin his idea of the man's role in a relationship forever. Do not wear too much perfume. Most women put too much on, and it becomes far too strong and gags us out. The last thing you want is the guy to have a headache and to keep his distance on a date. If you have any questions just ask. I'll give my personal input on the matter. I'm hopefully never going to date in my life, as this means I didn't become a Franciscan, but I still feel that women need to know what guys actually think. P.S. If there are words that don't make sense I am on my iPod and the auto-ccorrect is really ineffective. [/quote] I think that futurepriest covers a lot of stuff but he overlooked a few things so I'll continue his train of thought for him. Unless we say something directly to you, please don't say anything. And try not to think about stuff. Thinking leads to forming opinions and the only women who have opinions are lesbians. When I throw my dinner at you, it's out of love. I know the quickest way for you to learn from your mistakes is when cleaning up is added to the lesson. Since cleaning is something that all women excel at, I want you to feel good about yourself. Now make me something I like. If we marry and engage in marital relations, please don't try to enjoy it!! There is nothing more annoying than a woman having a good time. I HAVE to enjoy it or there is no point to it. Seriously, any woman who enjoys sex is basically a whore and not worthy to raise my children. (But you can keep cleaning) When the game is on, please make sure that there are chips in front of me. And I shouldn't even have to mention keeping a fresh beer! We don't want to hear your petty excuses like " My throat hurts, I'm tired, My water broke," etc. There is nothing so important that it can't wait till the end of the game. Well done futurepriest! I think we all share your desire that you never have a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1329619762' post='2389141'] look, I don't really have time to type out a response to you tonight, but suffice to say there's a reason the Church doesn't expound on things like make-up, a person's dress, and other non-essential things to argue about. That's the grey area I'm talking about - not Faith and Morals stuff. And please - Jason Evert is great, but he's just another voice on chastity - in your opinion he's great, (I like him too), but he's not the best speaker EVAH. And again - because you are young, you speak in absolutes "Never wear make-up" "Always wear dresses" "Don't ever do this" etc. Nuance, my friend, nuance. [/quote] I did not read the whole post. I skimmed it because I tired. Now that you point stuff out, you are right. I do agree with a lot of his points about dressing modestly and the like, but I also agree with what you said about this. Well done, Red, well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 (edited) Actually, I re-read my post. I never said "Never wear perfume" I said "Never wear too much perfume". I never said definitively not to do something other than initiate the relationship. I didn't even say never wear bikinis, I said I thought long skirts were more attractive, nor did I even say never to wear make-up. Rather, I said I didn't like make-up. There's a huge difference. Edited February 19, 2012 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Futurepriest - so, you're saying I ruined my husband's idea of a man's role in the relationship forever. But I guess since I already emasculated him with all the flirting we did, I shouldn't be surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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