MarysLittleFlower Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) A while ago I posted about how I felt an attraction to religious life but not to marriage. After much thought on the subject I realized that I actually do feel an attraction to marriage now, when I think of good Christian marriage, and I think both vocations have much to offer to God, but the whole idea of being a religious and fully belonging to Jesus - is so beautiful. I feel drawn to responding to His love in this particular way and marriage feels incomplete. In religious life, we give up earthly love in order to love more, not less... I still feel the same way about religious life as I did before but now I guess if He calls me, it would be a more difficult sacrifice on a natural level. I love the idea of having children, raising them in the faith, etc, and I think marriage is good but when I think of myself getting married, I don't feel peace. It seems to me now that i have a whole journey ahead of me in trying to discern this. And while both religious and married people have something beautiful to offer to God, I feel so empty-handed before Him, and I don't even know what I should be doing with my life. It's like I'm always waiting and trying to figure things out. I was thinking, what could we even do while we are discerning? In what ways could we serve God? Maybe doing something for the Church, for the needy, building a better relationship with my family, etc? How do we make this time worth-while? I read that it's not what we do, but the love with which we do it... I guess I also have a lot of fear about "missing" my vocation or of saying no to God, and I hope I would be courageous enough to say yes. I think somewhere deep inside I do feel led to religious life but this scares me a lot. It doesn't really go away except when I get distracted, and then it comes back, but I keep on second guessing myself. Sorry if this post is kind of disorganized, but I'm having a difficult time putting this into words. If anyone could share their thoughts that would be great. Thanks!! God bless Edited February 12, 2012 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Well, you can at least know you're not alone. I also feel pulled differently at different times. Like, if I read something from the Desert Fathers, I sometimes feel this incredible pull towards monastic life. But when I'm with my priest friends, I kinda want to join them. And don't get me started on marriage... I suppose the best thing to do would just be to persevere in prayer and do what you can to prepare yourself for whatever vocation God has in mind. That's what I'm trying to do at any rate. Plus, I figure if I'm meant to be married, I can count on God to send the right person my way. Now, as for how to know that isn't gonna happen, or, supposing it isn't, whether priesthood or monastic life is right, I suppose that's a bridge to be crossed if/when I get there. So, in conclusion, we seem to be in the same boat. And if we're called to marriage, we can trust God to send the right person our ways. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Thanks Byzantine I guess with me, when I feel drawn to marriage it's more of a natural attraction to it rather than a "calling", and with religious life, I'm trying to discern. When I feel like it could be religious life, I feel both happy and scared. I do often feel pulled in different directions. At least I don't have to choose between monastic life and priesthood j/k! lol! It's hard to wait for these things but I guess that could build patience and trust in God Hope you figure it out your vocation too! God bless! Edited February 12, 2012 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 How old are you generally, speaking? I fall into the 15-20 category, so we might be at pretty much the same point in our lives. I'm thinking anything involving marriage would probably do best to wait until I could be more certain that it wasn't just the raging of hormones, so that might be a good idea for you, too. Assuming we're comparable in age, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 I'm in my mid 20s.. all in God's hands I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 In order to achieve sainthood we must live our day-to-day life for God in Charity. I know this sounds like it's not enough, but if you understand truly the power of our offerings for living in the present moment then you would be glad. I know that living your tedious life in routine is annoying and doesn't feel like it is enough but really it is. Trust that God will show you the path. Dont ask him "what should I do with my life?" because it's the wrong question, "God, what do you want me to do in my life?" 20 bucks he says serve him everyday in every little thing. Oh and I would recommend just as a sidenote to read some Josemaria Escriva. Opus Dei has become a great comfort to my discerning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1329011416' post='2385646'] Don't ask him "what should I do with my life?" because it's the wrong question [/quote] Is there a scenario in which it could be the right question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 [quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1329011595' post='2385648'] Is there a scenario in which it could be the right question? [/quote] Ah, I know that maybe me typing that could sound wrong or just plain strange. I guess its the way you put yourself into your work. I had a monk tell me that their is two stories, one of them is God is part of my story, the other is I am part of God's story. Though very close in wording they are extremely different. The first usually being selfish, the second being selfless. Does this englighten you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1329012656' post='2385658'] Ah, I know that maybe me typing that could sound wrong or just plain strange. I guess its the way you put yourself into your work. I had a monk tell me that their is two stories, one of them is God is part of my story, the other is I am part of God's story. Though very close in wording they are extremely different. The first usually being selfish, the second being selfless. Does this englighten you? [/quote] Ah I see. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 We have a lot in common Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joan Marie Wandel Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 [i]Hey All![/i] [i]Well I'm also discerning, but I feel called to become a nun. But I sometimes I still feel like I yearn to be a mother. But if it's not in God's will so be it. The most important thing is to listen to God and to talk about it with others[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macrina the Younger Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Wow--I know this post is two years old, but MarysLittleFlower, I can't believe how similar my thoughts are to yours. I did a search for "what to do while discerning religious life" clicked into one of the links that led to your post and felt like I was reading a page from my prayer journal! I hope things have cleared up for you in the past two years. My current conclusion is in agreement with InPersonaChriste: we really need to be content to serve God in the little things of our day to day lives (and to consciously work at putting our hearts into it). I spoke to some Poor Clare Colettines about this and my general feeling of wasting my time in the meanwhile and they assured me that this time of waiting and watching is far from meaningless--that a time of courtship is special, unrepeatable, and necessary. It is small comfort sometimes as I continue to fight (yes, fight) feelings of impatience and restlessness, but it is a comfort nonetheless, and advice full of wisdom besides. Anyways, you probably won't read this post as it's so old, but thank-you for sharing--you are definitely not alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 we really need to be content to serve God in the little things of our day to day lives I think that's all that you CAN do, in whatever state of life you're in. You can give your all to God by washing dishes, whether it is in a monastery or in your own kitchen. (Actually it might be even more meritorious to clean up your own messes at home, 'cause it isn't automatically scheduled into your day and there's no one to enforce the law if you forget...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inperpetuity Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) "I guess I also have a lot of fear about "missing" my vocation or of saying no to God, and I hope I would be courageous enough to say yes. I think somewhere deep inside I do feel led to religious life but this scares me a lot. It doesn't really go away except when I get distracted, and then it comes back, but I keep on second guessing myself" Ah..this was me for soooo....long! Except now I've noticed the distractions aren't there now, so that's different. I think when I was easily swept away by distractions it was because I wasn't ready to commit and that's where I was. I'm now in serious discernment with a community and I'm still subject to doubts and 2nd guessing myself. I recently talked to a very beautiful nun who told me that her discernment experience was actually very painful because of uncertainty and doubts and these sorts of things that she had to work through. I think it's different for everyone and it's all part of God's will. I still say that if I end up making my final vows, it will be nothing short of a miracle, LOL Whoa, I just noticed this is two years old, lol! I never was good at paying attention to details! Maybe it will help someone anyway. Edited September 22, 2014 by inperpetuity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Wow--I know this post is two years old, but MarysLittleFlower, I can't believe how similar my thoughts are to yours. I did a search for "what to do while discerning religious life" clicked into one of the links that led to your post and felt like I was reading a page from my prayer journal! I hope things have cleared up for you in the past two years. My current conclusion is in agreement with InPersonaChriste: we really need to be content to serve God in the little things of our day to day lives (and to consciously work at putting our hearts into it). I spoke to some Poor Clare Colettines about this and my general feeling of wasting my time in the meanwhile and they assured me that this time of waiting and watching is far from meaningless--that a time of courtship is special, unrepeatable, and necessary. It is small comfort sometimes as I continue to fight (yes, fight) feelings of impatience and restlessness, but it is a comfort nonetheless, and advice full of wisdom besides. Anyways, you probably won't read this post as it's so old, but thank-you for sharing--you are definitely not alone! Waiting & watching as Courtship...that's a breakthrough way of looking at it. Thank you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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