Feeling 'stuck'

[MarysLittleFlower]

EmilyAnn, I wish I could give good advice but I'm sort of in a similar situation. And I'm also a convert. As I read what you said, I could relate to so much. It's really difficult when your family does not agree... pray that your mom would be more accepting of this in the future, pray and give it time. Try to get to Adoration and pray there, receive the Sacraments. Don't get discouraged and just keep seeking His will prayers for your situation! I also think that in terms of going for a live-in with a community, it would be best to tell your mom about it, doing this behind her back could make her feel more rejected, and also that would put you in a situation where you might be tempted to lie. If I were in this situation, I'd maybe simply tell her that you can't ignore what you feel about this, and that you just want to go and see what it's like because then it would be easier to discern. I'd ask to just give a year or so to think about it and visit different communities so at least you can be informed as you make your decision. If your mom starts arguing, try to not argue back and just talk to her later when she is calmer. God bless and prayers for you!!

Edited February 11, 2012 by MarysLittleFlower

[TheresaThoma]

There is always my favorite line when a discussion get heated, "Mom I think if this conversation continues I know we will both say things that we will regret. So I'm ending this conversation now. Lets talk about this some other time".

[MessorCarus]

When I first brought up the idea of religious life to my parents, they weren't happy at all about it. My dad really wanted me to graduate and have a career and my mom told me that I wasn't supposed to play games with God. With time, my mom slowly came around to realizing that it wasn't just a passing whim. It took about two years for my dad to essentially give me his blessing to enter if I chose to. That was two years ago and at this point my mother understands that it is something quite beautiful and is supportive of me living my life in such a way. My dad has moments when he doesn't think it's the best idea but I know he loves [b]me [/b]and regardless of what I do with my life, he simply wants me to be happy, even if he is not happy with the Church.

My siblings are somewhat of a different story. Some approve. Others think that I haven't lived enough or that I should go and live with them and get a boyfriend and then I won't even care about religious life anymore. It hurts to know that my siblings think this but all I can do is pray for their conversion.

God can do anything, and the graces He is giving to your loved ones because of your "yes" will produce so much fruit that you may never see. There may be many painful moments as your family come to terms with your decision to even consider giving your life to God but He will also give you the grace to handle that pain. I agree that it's best to be honest with your family when that time comes but more than anything else, pray for them. For their hearts to be open enough to see the beauty in what you are doing.

Prayers.

[Strictlyinkblot]

I don't have any advise for you but I'll pray for you. My mother was/is relatively accepting of my vocation but she doesn't really understand. She thinks I'll just be wasting everything if I don't join a nursing order. I haven't tried to tell my brothers. That'll be a whole other issue when I do.

[marigold]

EmilyAnn, how are you doing with this? I have been thinking about you recently and wondering whether you'd decided to tell your mother you're still looking at monastic life. And whether you'll be going for a live-in at the abbey! Hope things are feeling less stuck?

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1332970817' post='2409811']
EmilyAnn, how are you doing with this? I have been thinking about you recently and wondering whether you'd decided to tell your mother you're still looking at monastic life. And whether you'll be going for a live-in at the abbey! Hope things are feeling less stuck?
[/quote]

Sadly no I haven't told her at all. I had emotional troubles for many years when I was younger, largely due to being severely bullied for several years at the beginning of my teenage years. It's not something I've ever really been open about but it caused me a lot of pain and led me to self-harm. My mother has only recently found out about this and it has upset her deeply, something I truly never intended to do. I'm heading home next week for Easter so I expect that to be a very emotional few weeks. She has mentioned my discernment, albeit in her typical very veiled way, so I don't know if she'll mention it or what I'll say. It'll be one of those things where I'll just have to feel the moment (something I should have done the first time I told her) but I think that this may not be the right time to mention it.

I'm thinking of doing another short retreat at the abbey to give me another chance to speak to Sr Mary David and clear my thoughts a bit. I'm trying to take things a bit slower now, I think at the beginning of my discernment I had such fervour that I wanted to get it all done right away. I've left university temporarily so that's taken a lot of my focus for the moment. Now that I'm going to be in the city for longer I'm hoping to get involved in some kind of ministry at my parish. I'm not sure what yet, I'm not fussy - I just want to be involved.

[marigold]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1332973347' post='2409824']
Sadly no I haven't told her at all. I had emotional troubles for many years when I was younger, largely due to being severely bullied for several years at the beginning of my teenage years. It's not something I've ever really been open about but it caused me a lot of pain and led me to self-harm. My mother has only recently found out about this and it has upset her deeply, something I truly never intended to do. I'm heading home next week for Easter so I expect that to be a very emotional few weeks. She has mentioned my discernment, albeit in her typical very veiled way, so I don't know if she'll mention it or what I'll say. It'll be one of those things where I'll just have to feel the moment (something I should have done the first time I told her) but I think that this may not be the right time to mention it.

I'm thinking of doing another short retreat at the abbey to give me another chance to speak to Sr Mary David and clear my thoughts a bit. I'm trying to take things a bit slower now, I think at the beginning of my discernment I had such fervour that I wanted to get it all done right away. I've left university temporarily so that's taken a lot of my focus for the moment. Now that I'm going to be in the city for longer I'm hoping to get involved in some kind of ministry at my parish. I'm not sure what yet, I'm not fussy - I just want to be involved.
[/quote]

Ok. Sounds good - the part about another retreat and taking it slower. I'm sorry to hear things are upset with your mother. I will pray for you especially over the coming weeks!