FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 [quote name='MissMaro' timestamp='1327273436' post='2373458'] Thank you. I agree with you that being in love isn't just the lovey dovey feelings or the euphoria you feel when you're first infatuated with someone. It can and hopefully will go deeper than that with time. I just meant that couples shouldn't allow their feelings or lack of loving feelings to ruin a perfectly good marriage. If they persevere, their love can grow stronger as a result. (In other words, I may have drifted a bit off topic...) "Grow old along with me!/ The best is yet to be." Robert Browning [/quote] Yes, I totally understand, I get what you are saying, and that is similar with your relationship with God. You can't just quit because you're spiritually dry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I'm going to give this some thought tonight and come back to it. I want to give you something that's concrete and makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 It's just something you feel together . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 [quote name='BG45' timestamp='1327271003' post='2373414'] an ache when you aren't with them for even a few days [/quote] That's what I feel now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) [quote name='HisChildForever' timestamp='1327273926' post='2373469'] That's what I feel now [/quote] Sorry my friend, at least he'll be back soon. Edited January 22, 2012 by BG45 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Qq-dGMVOzc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlprozGcs80&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/media] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' timestamp='1327273066' post='2373451'] I know it's kind of a stupid amswer, but for me I think it's one of those things that you "just know." (that's the stupid part, now for something more thoughtful...) It's not as sappy and googly-eyed as we were in the beginning, but now, upwards of 12 years together and going on 10 years of marriage (peanuts compared to some) that love is every bit as strong--stronger even--and in some ways matured, in others every bit as much silliness as when we were 20. [b]Last night when we went to bed we laid there in the dark talking and laughing for a good 30 minutes before we fell asleep. It's like having the bestest best friend ever and multiplying it by millions. There's friendship, attraction, trust... and in a lot of ways it's overwhelming. It feels like more than I've ever felt for anyone or anything else. [/b]It's not something I can describe well or tell you how I know. I just do. At first I wasn't going to reply to this thread because I didn't want to give a standard answer. But then I changed my mind because it makes me reflect on him, and it's a good way to remember not to take him for granted. He doesn't deserve that and I never want to do that to him. [/quote] I just love that! Thank you for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 OK, so I am pondering this. Love isn't really what you feel -- that explosive joy and that ache in your chest. Those definitely are the beginnings of love, side effects if you want to call them that, sure. Being in love is more a concrete step that you take. It's a decision to open yourself up emotionally and mentally to another person with complete trust. Picture it as literally taking your heart and handing it to them to care for and nurture. You let the other person see you for exactly what you are, flaws and all. For me, I knew I was in love quite a while before I actually said it. I didn't say so because I was afraid of getting my heart broken. But in the end, that's the risk you take. The night I did say it was after the gentleman and I had an outrageously long talk about the past -- a confession of sorts. And I knew that I loved him then because, despite knowing all he had done, I still wanted to grow with him and share my life, even the bad parts. He's my partner. *shrugs* But in the end, it was a distinct choice that I made. The moment came where I knew I either had to take that risk and jump, or run away. I [i]chose[/i] to jump, to give him my heart. That was a very scary moment for both of us, but we ask for the grace every day to love better. The important thing is that we placed this relationship in God's hands from day one. We are trusting Him to guide us and help us to mature emotionally and spiritually together. And the more we humble ourselves as a unit, the more grace He seems to be giving. I'm not really sure how it all works, but I know that it is profoundly beautiful. Let me know if there's anything in this post you don't understand, or want me to explain more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthephysicist Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1327261804' post='2373289'] Hello, So, I'm wondering how y'all tell? And how does it vary through the stages of courtship, engagement, marriage, and such? I know secular love tends to be all about emotions whereas Catholic love is sacrificial and in your will, right? How does is differ with love for Jesus vs. partner? God bless you. [/quote] I'm sorry that I haven't read all of the other posts yet but here's my two cents. Going into a more Catholic interpretation of what love means to me is that it is a choice, a decision, an act of the will. It mirrors our love for God in this act of the will. Sometimes it is easy for us to love God during times of spiritual consolation, but in times of spiritual desolation we must still decide to love God and follow Him. Things like infatuation and the "warm and fuzzies" are like our spiritual consolations. It's certainly a lot easier to love someone when they do things to make you smile or make you feel whole inside, but real love is more than just doing better for that person in times of joy, it is a daily decision to lay down your life for that person, regardless of how you feel or how much it might hurt. Being that I'm not married, I don't have the experience necessary to tell you exactly how it varies during the relationship. All I know is that the whole process builds toward marriage. Just like with vocations to the religious life, marriage is a lifelong decision. It not only requires discernment of marriage itself, it requires discernment of the other person. In our broken world, it isn't safe to completely open yourself up to other people upon first meeting. Being in that relationship, you are asked to lay down your life for the other person by slowly leaving that safety behind piece by piece. Marriage is the decision to 100% lay down your life and give of yourself to your spouse. We get to that decision a little at a time, some people it's months and others it's years. That's what the whole process of being in a relationship is, building up that love or that ability to choose the other person above yourself, day by day, until we can make the decision to give of ourselves fully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Wow to all these posts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1327261804' post='2373289'] Hello, So, I'm wondering how y'all tell? And how does it vary through the stages of courtship, engagement, marriage, and such? I know secular love tends to be all about emotions whereas Catholic love is sacrificial and in your will, right? How does is differ with love for Jesus vs. partner? God bless you. [/quote] You are in love when your wifey fluffy air extractions so loudly dogs bark, it stinks up not just the bathroom, but the bedroom and the hallway too. It crinkles your nose in utter disgust. Yet you still love her and give her a big hug when she comes back into the living room. (man i hope she doesn;t read this thread) anyhoo....love is a decision, not an emotion. you are in love when you decide you want this person to have what is best for them so much that you empty yourself out for them and are willing to give up the things you want for them...time, attention, footrubs, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StMichael Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 The world comes completely into focus. Order is seen. You want to tell the world all about this person. You see yourself growing old with them and you don't care about growing old. As I saw someone else state, you know. You will know and not even have to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 And one more thing : You know you're in love when you are willing to do absolutely anything to better yourself for them, no matter what it costs emotionally or how much it hurts in the process. You're willing to change yourself for them. To beat addictions and fix flaws and change attitudes. Love is a huge motivating force. Love shows all of those broken places inside you. It's an incredible humbling process. You want to give them the world, but what you have is so meager. (Most of us feel this way about God, too!) It's a realization that you've been given this beautiful gift that you don't deserve at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 My grandma used to say "There's a fine line between true love and a restraining order" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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