Papist Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 But only if men are monogamous. [quote]Cheating, however, serves men pretty well. An undiscovered affair allows them to keep their relationship and emotional intimacy, and even if they're busted it's a lot easier than admitting that they wanted to screw someone else in the first place, he writes. . . . Monogamy's stronghold on our beliefs -- what he calls monogamism -- brings ostracism and judgment to anyone who questions or strays from its boundaries. That doesn't make sense to Anderson, who wonders why we stigmatize someone who has a fling more than couples who divorce -- throwing away a marriage rich in history and love, upsetting their kids' lives -- over something like sex.[/quote] [url="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-men-need-to-cheat_b_1170015.html?ref=divorce"]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-men-need-to-cheat_b_1170015.html?ref=divorce[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 So breaking the promise to be with one AND ONLY ONE person for the rest of one's life is way better than just leaving your family in the dust to marry some other woman. Saints preserve us and marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) [i]Boys [/i]need to cheat. [i]Boys [/i]judge their happiness solely on physical pleasure and not intimacy. [i]Boys [/i]don't have the emotional strength or testicular fortitude to keep on loving when it's no longer hormones, but a daily decision to hold someone up over yourself and your needs. Our bodies aren't toddlers -- they can and should be disciplined. And if marriage leads to anger and contempt, then marriage is not the issue. It's the people involved. That's not to say good people don't struggle in marriage ... but getting rid of commitment and monogamy is not and never will be the answer. Stuff like this depresses me. The world needs men that are really, truly [i]men.[/i] Edited January 18, 2012 by MissyP89 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1326919141' post='2371095'] [i]Boys [/i]need to cheat. [i]Boys [/i]judge their happiness solely on physical pleasure and not intimacy. [i]Boys [/i]don't have the emotional strength or testicular fortitude to keep on loving when it's no longer hormones, but a daily decision to hold someone up over yourself and your needs. Our bodies aren't toddlers -- they can and should be disciplined. And if marriage leads to anger and contempt, then marriage is not the issue. It's the people involved. That's not to say good people don't struggle in marriage ... but getting rid of commitment and monogamy is not and never will be the answer. Stuff like this depresses me. The world needs men that are really, truly [i]men.[/i] [/quote] My boys don't cheat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1326919141' post='2371095'] [i]Boys [/i]need to cheat. [i]Boys [/i]judge their happiness solely on physical pleasure and not intimacy. [i]Boys [/i]don't have the emotional strength or testicular fortitude to keep on loving when it's no longer hormones, but a daily decision to hold someone up over yourself and your needs. Our bodies aren't toddlers -- they can and should be disciplined. And if marriage leads to anger and contempt, then marriage is not the issue. It's the people involved. That's not to say good people don't struggle in marriage ... but getting rid of commitment and monogamy is not and never will be the answer. Stuff like this depresses me. The world needs men that are really, truly [i]men.[/i] [/quote] I really wish I could give more props for your use of the phrase, "testicular fortitude." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 While reading this article I was chuckling and then realize this is ridiculous and sad b/c this guy is serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1326919568' post='2371098'] I really wish I could give more props for your use of the phrase, "testicular fortitude." [/quote] One of my favorite priests uses that phrase. "TF" for short. Now I use it all the time. True story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I really don't understand how you can claim someone is maintaining "emotional intimacy" when they are cheating. They may be maintaining a facade of emotional intimacy, but it's not truly intimate if you're hiding a huge chunk of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='homeschoolmom' timestamp='1326919312' post='2371097'] My boys don't cheat. [/quote] Or they are just really good at it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1326919687' post='2371102'] Or they are just really good at it [/quote] I just set the bar really low so that there's no motivation to cheat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='homeschoolmom' timestamp='1326919794' post='2371103'] I just set the bar really low so that there's no motivation to cheat. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMcB Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Random thoughts: - One of the things that I admire most about youngsters learning and striving to live a chaste life comes in the form of self-control and discipline that will be taken into adulthood. That is, now that I am in my 30s and just returned to the Church, I am having to conquer habits that have been a part of my life for 20 years or so...had I developed positive habits 20 years ago in the matters of lust, these issues wouldn't have had such a powerful hold on me; a fact that has negatively influenced my moods and demeanor, and caused a lot of energy (that could've been spent on any number of things around the house/at work) to be spent on undoing these bad habits. - Those that seek to live a chaste life will see the desire to cheat and giving into lust as a negative and damaging aspect of humanity. They will also seek to find the beauty of the chaste life, which is a wonderful and fulfilling part of our culture. Those that see men (or women, for that matter) as needing to have sex outside of the manner in which it was intended, sadly, do not understand the beauty of sacrifice and love. - Being selfish isn't nearly as satisfying as some make it out to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 My husband cheats, and there's going to be a killing alright. I've told him I won't kill him, but will the woman who went after a married man. Him, I will make suffer watching me go off to jail because of his infidelity. I'm not worried though, he worships the ground I walk on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMcB Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1326919141' post='2371095'] [i]Boys [/i]need to cheat. [i]Boys [/i]judge their happiness solely on physical pleasure and not intimacy. [i]Boys [/i]don't have the emotional strength or testicular fortitude to keep on loving when it's no longer hormones, but a daily decision to hold someone up over yourself and your needs. Our bodies aren't toddlers -- they can and should be disciplined. And if marriage leads to anger and contempt, then marriage is not the issue. It's the people involved. That's not to say good people don't struggle in marriage ... but getting rid of commitment and monogamy is not and never will be the answer. Stuff like this depresses me. The world needs men that are really, truly [i]men.[/i] [/quote] You said it, sister...Too many of us fall for the lie that running around is manly, while it is self-sacrifice and discipline that are tough and manly. I'm just glad that I learned this later than never. And I pray that I will raise boys that understand the meaning of being a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudate_Dominum Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I was reading something from that Aubrey de Grey dude the other day in which he was predicting that monogamy would soon be dead - and good riddance. Edited January 18, 2012 by Laudate_Dominum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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