Byzantine Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 At some times I think marriage is for me; at others I think the monastic life would be best. If I'm thinking marriage, it almost always includes the priesthood (as far as I know, this is a real option for me); if I think of monastic life, it often doesn't. I don't quite think that diocesan celibate priesthood is for me though. Any one want to comment on this/recommend how to go about discerning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Go to daily Mass. Get a spiritual director. Spend a half hour in front of the tabernacle every day. In that order. Go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 A good spiritual director is always helpful. Regular attendance at Mass, Daily if possible. Adoration as is available, but again regularly. Perhaps also try and spend some time on a retreat, it can be helpful to just get away from the distractions of life for a while and be more focused, Another thing I have found helpful is writing about my discernment and how I feel as time goes on. For me, this takes the form of blogging, and it is useful to have that archive to go back on and reflect on any patterns or evolutions you find as you discern. Keeping a diary, journalling, letters to God or yourself or whoever else, whatever form you find easiest to work with. One thing to consider for married priesthood is that I believe the allowance for marriage in Eastern rites is only for already married men entering the priesthood - you cannot enter the priesthood and then marry. In this situation the discernment becomes not just one for you alone but for your spouse as well. There is no longer just you to consider but also your duties to your spouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I agree that regular church attendance and receiving the mysteries is vital. And even if you can't find a 'spiritual director' then it is always good to bounce your ideas off someone older and wiser. But I wouldn't advise too much introspection - if you're anything like me then the deeper you go the more confusing it gets, because we're very complex creatures with multitudes of motivations and conflicting desires. So go easy on yourself and maybe put out some feelers in your community as to what people think your strengths are (NOT 'I can't choose whether to be a monk or a married priest, what do you think?') ... I think we often overlook how much people can know about us. I know I see myself as incredibly introverted, shy, awkward and generally heel-dragging, but as it turns out, my fellows at church think of me as one of the bubbly young women, always welcoming and ready to have a chat. Monk or married priest... either way, it's not about you, it's about the Lord. As far as I know, there's no hurry to decide, so really do take some time to find out what your community a) needs and b) thinks you're good at, since whichever way of life you end up in, it's the people of God who you'll be working and praying for. You have my prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hope&memory Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Go live the monastic life for a while. You'll know pretty quick whether you are called to it. (A married priest is a beautiful thing.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I have met many holy Married priests in the Ukranian Catholic Church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hermanita Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1326471819' post='2368361'] I have met many holy Married priests in the Ukranian Catholic Church. [/quote] Me too. Also in the Orthodox church Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hermanita Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Good News Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted January 14, 2012 Author Share Posted January 14, 2012 Seemed easiest to leave comments within the posts. [quote name='Deus_te_Amat' timestamp='1326416747' post='2368008'] Go to daily Mass. [color=#0000ff]I'm in high school. Not really an option.[/color] Get a spiritual director. [color="#0000ff"]I suppose you could call this one done.[/color] Spend a half hour in front of the tabernacle every day. [color=#0000ff]Not really an option.[/color] In that order. Go. [/quote] [quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1326417211' post='2368017'] Perhaps also try and spend some time on a retreat, it can be helpful to just get away from the distractions of life for a while and be more focused, [color=#0000ff]If I could I would...[/color] Another thing I have found helpful is writing about my discernment and how I feel as time goes on. For me, this takes the form of blogging, and it is useful to have that archive to go back on and reflect on any patterns or evolutions you find as you discern. Keeping a diary, journalling, letters to God or yourself or whoever else, whatever form you find easiest to work with. [color="#0000ff"]I don't quite feel comfortable with this, but it would probably be helpful to me...[/color] One thing to consider for married priesthood is that I believe the allowance for marriage in Eastern rites is only for already married men entering the priesthood - you cannot enter the priesthood and then marry. In this situation the discernment becomes not just one for you alone but for your spouse as well. There is no longer just you to consider but also your duties to your spouse. [color=#0000ff]Yup. Pretty much right on the money (except that you can get a dispensation if necessary, but I think that's limited to things like your wife dying and leaving you with little kids.[/color] [/quote] [quote name='marigold' timestamp='1326451770' post='2368270'] I agree that regular church attendance and receiving the mysteries is vital. And even if you can't find a 'spiritual director' then it is always good to bounce your ideas off someone older and wiser. But I wouldn't advise too much introspection - if you're anything like me then the deeper you go the more confusing it gets, because we're very complex creatures with multitudes of motivations and conflicting desires. So go easy on yourself and maybe put out some feelers in your community as to what people think your strengths are (NOT 'I can't choose whether to be a monk or a married priest, what do you think?') ... I think we often overlook how much people can know about us. I know I see myself as incredibly introverted, shy, awkward and generally heel-dragging, but as it turns out, my fellows at church think of me as one of the bubbly young women, always welcoming and ready to have a chat. Monk or married priest... either way, it's not about you, it's about the Lord. As far as I know, there's no hurry to decide, so really do take some time to find out what your community a) needs and b) thinks you're good at, since whichever way of life you end up in, it's the people of God who you'll be working and praying for. You have my prayers! [color=#0000ff]Thanks![/color] [/quote] [quote name='hope&memory' timestamp='1326470874' post='2368350'] Go live the monastic life for a while. You'll know pretty quick whether you are called to it. [color=#0000ff]If I could I probably would...[/color] (A married priest is a beautiful thing.) [/quote] Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hope&memory Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 As long as you keep saying, "can't, can't, can't," giving in to comfort and avoiding uncomfortable situations, and just making a lot of excuses, you are never going to be able to discern anything. Excuses are the number one psychological (and diabolical) path to not being who God made you to be (your vocation). You seem intellectual. Maybe you could read a book or a website without making excuses? Pick someone you admire: a saint, a married priest, a monk, the Theotokos. Then read about them and count the excuses they made. If God has put this desire in your heart to either serve him as a priest or a monk, I (speaking from experience) would advise you pursue it before the world, with all its many temptation, drags you down. As far as going to live the monastic life for a while, I don't mean "enter" a monastery. I mean just go somewhere like [url="http://www.societystjohn.com/retreat/retreat.php"]here[/url] for a week. They say $25 a day but I expect they wouldn't charge you if you can't afford it. They are going to work you to exhaustion, make you be silent (which includes no texting and no internet), make you pray without ceasing, give you only simple food to eat, and never say one thing about "becoming a force to be reckoned with" (but maybe something about detaching from the world's opinion.) Everything that ever caused you grief is going to jump up and bite you. And you'll either love it or hate it. If you hate it, you can pursue the priesthood and go to seminary. If you love it, then, you have been given a gift which you should receive with joy. And please stop using your age as an excuse. St. Therese of Lisieux was 15 when she entered the monastery and 24 when she died. When you're called, you're called. There comes a point when you have to stop thinking about it and looking for answers on the internet and jump. God will catch you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted January 14, 2012 Author Share Posted January 14, 2012 [quote name='hope&memory' timestamp='1326553658' post='2368852'] As long as you keep saying, "can't, can't, can't," giving in to comfort and avoiding uncomfortable situations, and just making a lot of excuses, you are never going to be able to discern anything. Excuses are the number one psychological (and diabolical) path to not being who God made you to be (your vocation). You seem intellectual. Maybe you could read a book or a website without making excuses? Pick someone you admire: a saint, a married priest, a monk, the Theotokos. Then read about them and count the excuses they made. If God has put this desire in your heart to either serve him as a priest or a monk, I (speaking from experience) would advise you pursue it before the world, with all its many temptation, drags you down. As far as going to live the monastic life for a while, I don't mean "enter" a monastery. I mean just go somewhere like [url="http://www.societystjohn.com/retreat/retreat.php"]here[/url] for a week. They say $25 a day but I expect they wouldn't charge you if you can't afford it. They are going to work you to exhaustion, make you be silent (which includes no texting and no internet), make you pray without ceasing, give you only simple food to eat, and never say one thing about "becoming a force to be reckoned with" (but maybe something about detaching from the world's opinion.) Everything that ever caused you grief is going to jump up and bite you. And you'll either love it or hate it. If you hate it, you can pursue the priesthood and go to seminary. If you love it, then, you have been given a gift which you should receive with joy. And please stop using your age as an excuse. St. Therese of Lisieux was 15 when she entered the monastery and 24 when she died. When you're called, you're called. There comes a point when you have to stop thinking about it and looking for answers on the internet and jump. God will catch you. [/quote] I feel like only props can really answer that correctly. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted January 14, 2012 Author Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) And after actually staying in a room for ~45 minutes and thinking and praying, I'm questioning whether any of these is my vocation. Suddenly, it seems like a wonderful path to teach in a Catholic school and be a permanent deacon. I will hopefully be asking my priest about this tomorrow. Request thread closed and h&m's last post to get something higher than CDPY. Edited January 14, 2012 by Byzantine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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