Etiquette Question

[Lil Red]

What do you call a child that someone in your family gave up for adoption many years ago? You call the parents who give them up "birth parents", you call the parents that adopt them "adoptive parents", but what do you call the child?

[dUSt]

Adoptites.

[Luigi]

An adoptee?

[Vincent Vega]

Balthazar.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1325695231' post='2362791']
Balthazar.
[/quote]
idgi

[she_who_is_not]

I suppose you could go with so and so's biological child or the natural child of so and so. This is a good question Red. I've never thought about it.

[Papist]

son/daughter

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1325695924' post='2362800']son/daughter[/quote]

if they have children with a spouse, that will get confusing because people will just assume we are talking about their children with their spouse.

[Papist]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1325696691' post='2362805']
if they have children with a spouse, that will get confusing because people will just assume we are talking about their children with their spouse.
[/quote]

Same would be true if one's ex-spouse lived elsewhere with your children. You would still call them son/daughter even though they are not with your current spouse. The fact is they are your son/daughter. However, it would more than likely require an explanation to the person you are talking to, similar to parents that talk of their child of a miscarriage.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1325695328' post='2362793']
idgi
[/quote]
That's his name.

[Papist]

I am trying to imagine having such a conversation. I guess I would say my son, that I gave up for adoption, yada yada yada.

[Lil Red]

[quote]Same would be true if one's ex-spouse lived elsewhere with your children. You would still call them son/daughter even though they are not with your current spouse. The fact is they are your son/daughter. However, it would more than likely require an explanation to the person you are talking to, similar to parents that talk of their child of a miscarriage. [/quote]

i agree and i don't.

yes, biologically, they are son/daughter (or niece/nephew, cousin, whatever). but they didn't raise them, weren't parented by them.

i dunno...guess I'm looking for a succinct way of summing it up instead of a super long explanation.

edit: even with a miscarried child, there's a succinct way of saying it: "my son that my wife miscarried."

[Papist]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1325698664' post='2362823']
i agree and i don't.

yes, biologically, they are son/daughter (or niece/nephew, cousin, whatever). but they didn't raise them, weren't parented by them.

i dunno...guess I'm looking for a succinct way of summing it up instead of a super long explanation.

edit: even with a miscarried child, there's a succinct way of saying it: "[u]my son that my wife miscarried.[/u]"
[/quote]

I believe that is your answer. I do not see how you can get around not qualifying your son. The way I see it is that the biology does not change. It is still mother/father, son/daughter. In this situation, I do not see mother/father synonymous with parent.

[MithLuin]

I think that 'biological child' implies 'did not grow up in the house' pretty strongly. If that sounds too harsh, 'child given up for adoption' should cover it (the same way 'child miscarried' would).

I do not know the polite way to handle this (*googles 'Miss Manners adoption*)

[Lil Red]

thanks everyone for bearing with me on this.