Cherie Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 I think most threads mentioning marriage are done so in the context of discerning religious life and are therefore well within the bounds of dUSt's request. Those are the threads on "marriage" that I was defending, but they honestly don't need to be defended. A thread about someone struggling to discern religious life vs marriage, has in essence, its focus on religious life discernment. I agree that threads on marriage in VS, to the exclusion of religious life, do not have a place here. A few of these were brought up recently and I think that's where dUSt's request came from as a reminder that the focus here is religious life, not marriage. Am I correct in that assumption, dUSt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted December 29, 2011 Author Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1325173362' post='2359304'] I agree that threads on marriage in VS, to the exclusion of religious life, do not have a place here. A few of these were brought up recently and I think that's where dUSt's request came from as a reminder that the focus here is religious life, not marriage. Am I correct in that assumption, dUSt? [/quote] Yes. A little background from my personal journey... As a teen, I had a strong calling to be a priest. I looked for any reason I could not to follow that calling. I found reasons, and justified in my own teen mind, that these were good legitimate reasons. Looking back, they were not. I denied my calling. My point being, I found reasons [b]not [/b]to follow my calling because I actively looked for them. I think there is somewhat of a danger if we fall into the line of thinking that a vocation to marriage is somehow equal to a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. It is not. The church is clear on this--a vocation to the religious life is a higher calling. I say this because looking back on my own discernment, if I would have had people around me telling me that a vocation to marriage was just as good to that of the priesthood, that would have been my ticket to [b]not[/b] be a priest. In my journey, that was not the case, but it easily could have been. That's how my mind worked. I say all of this to hopefully explain why I want to keep the focus of this board clear. The last thing I want is for someone who is on the fence about their discerment come to the Vocation Station and get talked out of it, because we've created an atmosphere where marriage is put on the same level as a vocation to the religious life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1325177757' post='2359347'] Yes. A little background from my personal journey... As a teen, I had a strong calling to be a priest. I looked for any reason I could not to follow that calling. I found reasons, and justified in my own teen mind, that these were good legitimate reasons. Looking back, they were not. I denied my calling. My point being, I found reasons [b]not [/b]to follow my calling because I actively looked for them. I think there is somewhat of a danger if we fall into the line of thinking that a vocation to marriage is somehow equal to a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. It is not. The church is clear on this--a vocation to the religious life is a higher calling. I say this because looking back on my own discernment, if I would have had people around me telling me that a vocation to marriage was just as good to that of the priesthood, that would have been my ticket to [b]not[/b] be a priest. In my journey, that was not the case, but it easily could have been. That's how my mind worked. I say all of this to hopefully explain why I want to keep the focus of this board clear. The last thing I want is for someone who is on the fence about their discerment come to the Vocation Station and get talked out of it, because we've created an atmosphere where marriage is put on the same level as a vocation to the religious life. [/quote] If I could give this more than just one prop I would. thank you for that post dUSt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1325126885' post='2359027'] Being that I am one of the ones who recently discerned out of marriage, I feel that your post hit the nail right on the head. I have been a member for a long time and have contributed many posts, but I feel like I am excluded from this particular (and favorite) sub-forum because I am no longer discerning religious life. If one posts on an already active thread about marriage, their post looks to be the one hijacking the discussion and/or it gets lost in the shuffle. I am one of the ones that thinks that if we aren't allowed to post topics here discussing marriage, then start a sub-forum for discerning married life. I don't post serious topics about vocations in Open Mic, because, like JoyfulLife said, they tend to devolve into some weird discussion. In fact, I cannot recall one single topic I started there where it wasn't hijacked. I may have to be a less active member now... [/quote] [quote name='LadyOfSorrows' timestamp='1325138610' post='2359182'] I love the Church and religious vocations, but there NEEDS to be a greater emphasis on marriage. Maybe we would have many more holier ones in the church-- there is a terrible lack of them. I know dUst didn't mean to offend anyone, but it just hurts even more to see how neglected marriage can be. The sacrifices of marriage are just as purifying as those in the religious life. I just wish it was given equal attention. It really is not. [/quote] Agreed. [quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1325177757' post='2359347'] Yes. A little background from my personal journey... As a teen, I had a strong calling to be a priest. I looked for any reason I could not to follow that calling. I found reasons, and justified in my own teen mind, that these were good legitimate reasons. Looking back, they were not. I denied my calling. My point being, I found reasons [b]not [/b]to follow my calling because I actively looked for them. I think there is somewhat of a danger if we fall into the line of thinking that a vocation to marriage is somehow equal to a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. It is not. The church is clear on this--a vocation to the religious life is a higher calling. I say this because looking back on my own discernment, if I would have had people around me telling me that a vocation to marriage was just as good to that of the priesthood, that would have been my ticket to [b]not[/b] be a priest. In my journey, that was not the case, but it easily could have been. That's how my mind worked. I say all of this to hopefully explain why I want to keep the focus of this board clear. The last thing I want is for someone who is on the fence about their discerment come to the Vocation Station and get talked out of it, because we've created an atmosphere where marriage is put on the same level as a vocation to the religious life. [/quote] Interesting point. Edited December 29, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 From my standpoint, I feel like it's a tape over my mouth when I feel the need to make a thread about marriage, because the open mic is too hairy and high-jacked; and the RSH board is more about babies and raising them. We really need a respectful place to discuss the beauties of marriage. Could we pray about making a sub-board off of VS, like how Dust did Word as a sub of Transmundane? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1325146338' post='2359213'] Even before I re-logged on, I heard the same thing some of the others have said.... let's let this quiet down for a few days and then see if there are some fruits that are ready to be harvested... maybe it will be enough to just follow dUSt's new guideline, perhaps there is need for a sub-board or second board, or.... ???? Who knows what the Spirit may have in store! [/quote] Yep, but it's not a [b]new[/b] rule, just re-emphasizing an [b]old [/b]one. A couple years ago there was a push to get more focus on marriage in here and it was a catastrophe. (Those who had considered VS a haven for religious vocation discernment weren't very happy about it.) That was when, to my recollection, Dust really made a point of saying "Don't do that, and these are my reasons." I believe the Marriage Resources thread that was mentioned earlier was merely left pinned as a courtesy for those looking for information, but not to encourage further threads where the main focus was marriage. I think Cherie has the right idea that one must not rule out marriage when discerning religious life, and therefore it will always come up, but we must be mindful of the context. If a thread is solely about marriage then it really doesn't belong in here for all the reasons Dust and others have detailed. [quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1325173362' post='2359304'] I think most threads mentioning marriage are done so in the context of discerning religious life and are therefore well within the bounds of dUSt's request. Those are the threads on "marriage" that I was defending, but they honestly don't need to be defended. A thread about someone struggling to discern religious life vs marriage, has in essence, its focus on religious life discernment. I agree that threads on marriage in VS, to the exclusion of religious life, do not have a place here. A few of these were brought up recently and I think that's where dUSt's request came from as a reminder that the focus here is religious life, not marriage. Am I correct in that assumption, dUSt? [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 (edited) Wow, the one day I take a nap and we seven pages in just about 24 hours. I think that is a VS record. Reading the OP my gut reaction was to post a loud cry of NOOOOOOOOOOO but then I continued reading and got to read both sides, including dUSt's (spelled it right finally) reasoning and I must say that I totally agree with him. As someone who was sure I was called to religious life since the age of 6, continued discerning till college and then "looked" for signs that I wasn't.....aaaaaaaand now God willing I'll be entering in less than a year. I know how important it is to have a place where you can foster your vocation. Granted I do think it is good to have a place for those discerning marriage to ask questions and while I don't spend too much time out of VS and the lame board I do peruse enough of the phorum to see that outside of VS, there are not many outlets to ask marriage questions related to RL discernment. When it comes to discerning religious life, it's natural to have an attraction to marriage (for most of us) in fact, many VDs want to see an indication that the person is not turned off to marriage. That can be confusing to even the most spiritually mature person. I remember when I had to face my attraction to marriage head on in the middle of my discernment, I had to pause and truly take the time to understand and appreciate the call to marriage in order for me to truly realize the beauty in the call to Religious Life (as well as the grace needed to live such a vocation) Perhaps (and this was said by many many people) it might be a good idea to have a sub-forum within VS (kinda like the how Lame Board is) where those who are truly on the fence between marriage and RL can get questions answered. Truth be told, I don't think someone can get "convinced" to either vocation by reading that marriage and RL are on the same level. Nothing convinced me all those years that I was called to marriage, I wanted to date so I made up all the reasons why I wouldn't be a good nun or sister. Years later, when I began discerning Religious Life, it was not anything or anyone other than the Lord Himself who showed me He was calling me to religious life, no convincing was needed there. I guess what I'm saying is dUSt I totally agree with you but I would like to ask that you please take the idea of having a marriage sub-forum (even it there aren't that many posts) into [b]serious [/b]consideration because marriage is a vocation (depending on who you ask and what diocese you're in) and there are pholks in here who are truly trying to discern religious life [i]and/or[/i] marriage and having an outlet where questions about marriage, as they relate to religious discernment, can be posed would be a great tool. Edited December 29, 2011 by HopefulBride Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 I think it's been made pretty clear by our board superior that things will remain as they are. We have been lucky to receive not only answers to our questions but several different explanations about how, when and why such decisions were made. Trusting in dUSt's judgment and ability to serve us, I think we should let the issue rest now. Eight pages later, I think we've all said more than enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 After reading all eight pages of this thing, all I can do is laugh. I wonder what Jesus is thinking. Did you all know that dUSt created this place as a penence? And, as far as I know, VS has been here since the beginning. That would imply that he considered VS an essential part of his penitential process. In this wonderful Catholic forum, Jesus has this little place where young men and women can discern whether or not He is calling them to Himself. Not in the general Christian sense. Not in the the-other-guy-and-Jesus marital sense. In the most intimate, personal, sacrificial sense. HIS own VS. Personally, I think that's wonderful. Don't take this forum away from Jesus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1325180955' post='2359381'] I guess what I'm saying is dUSt I totally agree with you but I would like to ask that you please take the idea of having a marriage sub-forum (even it there aren't that many posts) into [b]serious [/b]consideration because marriage is a vocation (depending on who you ask and what diocese you're in) and there are pholks in here who are truly trying to discern religious life [i]and/or[/i] marriage and having an outlet where questions about marriage, as they relate to religious discernment, can be posed would be a great tool. [/quote] Yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1325182798' post='2359393'] I think it's been made pretty clear by our board superior that things will remain as they are. We have been lucky to receive not only answers to our questions but several different explanations about how, when and why such decisions were made. Trusting in dUSt's judgment and ability to serve us, I think we should let the issue rest now. Eight pages later, I think we've all said more than enough. [/quote] Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts