MissScripture Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Wow. Prayers for everyone. I hope you are able to get it all worked out, and that he doesn't end up getting into more trouble because of his grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 The issue we are dealing with today is that since his parents were not divorced, his drug addict, homeless father now owns the house he lives in, and is Zack's legal guardian. He just turned 17 this week, and when he turns 18, we can legally adopt him without his father's consent. We could probably get him to consent by giving him money, but I refuse to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Oh wow! :-( prayers for all as you try to get this figured out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she_who_is_not Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Praying for you and Zack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 God bless you guys! You both have such wonderful hearts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 29, 2011 Author Share Posted December 29, 2011 His mom is going to be buried on Saturday. Our parish already has funerals on Thursday and Friday scheduled. It's been a bad week. Tomorrow I'm taking Zack to buy a suit, tie and dress shirt to wear to his mom's funeral. It looks like one of his oldest sisters is going to be able to take guardianship. She's 30 and married, and most importantly, not a drug addict. I told her that I didn't want her worrying about finances. I told her that anything she needed for Zack that I would take care of, clothes, tuition, etc. She needs to be able to grieve without worrying about money due to becoming the instant mother of a teenager. His uncle is taking care of the funeral expenses. She's going to be cremated, but will have a mass. Living for two days after the heart attack allowed her children to say goodbye, and allowed her to have extreme unction. We should all be so lucky I guess. She's another example, unfortunately, of how mental illnesses can kill. She had bipolar, and refused to be properly medicated, opting for natural remedies. When she began to have weird shoulder pains a few months ago, her mental illness kept her from being willing or able to seek real medical care. It's one of the reasons that those with serious mental illnesses have life expectancies 20+ years less than the rest of us. My former roommate went to the hospital with chest and abdominal pain, and with her history of drug-seeking, she was stonewalled until it was too late to treat the swine flu she had contracted two years ago. The pain was the pneumonia that ended up killing her two days later. When you have an illness that warps your sense of self, and/or reality, and doctors don't want to deal with you, your health care will suffer. We have free health care here, and Zack's mom was on the low-income plan where even her medicine would have been free. There's no reason for a 55 year old woman to die from such a treatable condition. Two months ago she could have received a couple of stents and been sent home. We as women are scared to death of getting breast cancer, but it is heart disease that kills most of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 Oh, Catherine! Just found this thread, but have been praying for you & Zack each day. Sometimes it just seems like people get hit with too much, doesn't it.....Will intensify prayers and get others to pray, too..... God can and will work through you - just be open to the Holy Spirit's inspirations. Let us know if we can help in any way.... and feel free to PM me if you wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 Catherine I will be continuing to pray for you, for Zack and for everyone involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1325134921' post='2359142'] His mom is going to be buried on Saturday. Our parish already has funerals on Thursday and Friday scheduled. It's been a bad week. Tomorrow I'm taking Zack to buy a suit, tie and dress shirt to wear to his mom's funeral. It looks like one of his oldest sisters is going to be able to take guardianship. She's 30 and married, and most importantly, not a drug addict. I told her that I didn't want her worrying about finances. I told her that anything she needed for Zack that I would take care of, clothes, tuition, etc. She needs to be able to grieve without worrying about money due to becoming the instant mother of a teenager. His uncle is taking care of the funeral expenses. She's going to be cremated, but will have a mass. Living for two days after the heart attack allowed her children to say goodbye, and allowed her to have extreme unction. We should all be so lucky I guess. She's another example, unfortunately, of how mental illnesses can kill. She had bipolar, and refused to be properly medicated, opting for natural remedies. When she began to have weird shoulder pains a few months ago, her mental illness kept her from being willing or able to seek real medical care. It's one of the reasons that those with serious mental illnesses have life expectancies 20+ years less than the rest of us. My former roommate went to the hospital with chest and abdominal pain, and with her history of drug-seeking, she was stonewalled until it was too late to treat the swine flu she had contracted two years ago. The pain was the pneumonia that ended up killing her two days later. When you have an illness that warps your sense of self, and/or reality, and doctors don't want to deal with you, your health care will suffer. We have free health care here, and Zack's mom was on the low-income plan where even her medicine would have been free. There's no reason for a 55 year old woman to die from such a treatable condition. Two months ago she could have received a couple of stents and been sent home. We as women are scared to death of getting breast cancer, but it is heart disease that kills most of us. [/quote] Even so, there is a chance if she had gone in, they would've told her it was just because of her mental illness. My mom (a nurse) was so glad I didn't go to the hospital when I had the episode with my heart that prompted me to go to the doctor where they found out about my heart defect, because she is pretty sure I would've been told it was just stress, since I had no other recognized symptoms (I had them, I just had lived with them my whole life and didn't know they weren't normal). It's not just the women who don't take heart problems seriously, but it can also be the medical professionals, attributing it all to stress or emotions. Continued prayers for the family. I'm glad you'll be able to continue to be a positive influence in his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 I just saw this Catherine. Praying for you and for this boy and his family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 The funeral was this morning. His cadet commanding officer came with a dozen cadets. It made such a huge difference for him. He had been almost prostrate with tears during the mass, but downstairs afterwards, around all his friends in their uniforms, he regained his composure, and even smiled. He ate a big lunch, along with his buddies who wore a path back and forth for seconds, and really seemed to be okay. His captain said that they were collecting funds from the unit for him, and already had several hundred dollars worth. They are going to convert the cash to gift cards from the grocery store they can walk to. As a cadet, he is also eligible for 8 free visits with a Department of Defense grief counselor. If he needs to go longer, we will pay for it. We are going to enroll him in school next week. There is a special highschool here that is designed for kids who have dropped out of highschool or were sick and fell behind, that kind of thing. One of the cadet civilian instructors has volunteered to serve as his tutor. The biggest hurdle in grieving comes after the funeral when everyone goes back home and to their regular lives, and you are left just with the emptiness. We are going to try to keep him busy. Tuesday we take him to our friend at Catholic Social Services who will help his sister get all their social assistance transferred over to her. He may get a bit more money as an orphan. The funeral had a couple of hundred people, and three priests. During the homily, our associate priest recounted how when he first met her, she asked him if he was a traditional priest or a liberal one. He said he knew right then that she was going to be one of those who would keep him on his toes. He actually said that she put fun in dysfunctional in regard to their family. I began to wonder what kind of things a priest will one day say about me. Probably scary things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 (edited) I am out of props, but full of prayers. My friend and I remembered him during MP and EP today... and will keep on praying for all of you. So glad his fellow cadets were there for him... and glad you are there for him, Catherine. You are the definition of a wounded healer. I've done teen grief counseling... it can make a HUGE difference, so glad he will get the help he needs. There may also be some teen groups around... often they can do more for each other than the adults can do... Holding you all in my heart... hopefully 2012 will be a better year for you all. You are amesome. Edited January 1, 2012 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I just saw this now, my heart is full of prayers for all of you. Will pour them out at Mass tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 Zack found out today that the bank is going to take the house. If it sells any equity will go 90% to his dad. He was told three weeks to two months for eviction. His sisters are walking away. Only one has offered to take him in and she just wants him for his orphan benefit, so we asked him if he would like for us to adopt him and he said yes. We have made an offer to rent the empty condo upstairs. Austin's cousin will handle the legal side. I'm terrified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I'm sorry Catherine, prayers for you all, just saw this thread. You're a wonderful person and so is your husband, to take in this guy in his hour of need. God bless you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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