TheresaThoma Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Prayers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (edited) Prayers are redoubled, and you may also want to do something more practical (speaking here as someone who has done bereavement counseling) ... Catherine, you may want to look for some support for all of you--not because you aren't handling it, but because ANYONE going through this much can benefit from some support. Perhaps you may want to look for a support group (even have those on-line) You are all right on schedule for experiencing some of this stuff.... Contact your local hospice and see if they know of any programs in your area that would be similar to this one that is in the San Francisco area.... if they don't, I'd contact Patrick Abore directly. He is well-known in this area as THE person to contact for the kinds of traumatic grief you are experiencing -- and he might know who might be good in your area and or how to locate such a person. [url="http://www.ioaging.org/aging/support_groups_grief_loss_sf.html"]http://www.ioaging.o...ef_loss_sf.html[/url] I drop the link on here because ALL of you might need this at some point.... and all of you can certainly pray for those who are attending these groups.... Patrick does wonderful work. I know a number of people he has helped... BTW - these groups are sponsored by the Jewish Community and some of the services are geared toward the aged because that is where the funding came from... but the services are open to all. You're also welcome to PM me if I can be of assistance.... Blessings! Edited February 29, 2012 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 You are of course on my permanent prayer list, but I also shared you with a fearless and fearsome prayer warrior who in turn needs your prayers. Where two or three are gathered... we have each other's back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Thanks everyone. He made it through the night, went to sleep finally about 4am. We had a day of me driving Austin around to meetings so Zack came along. We had lots of time to talk about nothing. We window shopped at the mall and looked at travel brochures while waiting for passport photos. Just hung out. He doesn't seem to mind hanging out with Ma and Pa Kettle. What pissed me off royal today is our assistant pastor. We went to him for counsel after Zack's collapse. He actually said we are being used for our money. That Zack is partying on our dime. That we should make him take the bus to counseling rather than driving him. That we are showering him with luxuries. I'm not sure what planet this guy is from, but new underwear from Walmart and used jeans from the thrift store aren't luxuries in my book. This is the problem with priests who only study philosophy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1330577111' post='2394859'] Thanks everyone. He made it through the night, went to sleep finally about 4am. We had a day of me driving Austin around to meetings so Zack came along. We had lots of time to talk about nothing. We window shopped at the mall and looked at travel brochures while waiting for passport photos. Just hung out. He doesn't seem to mind hanging out with Ma and Pa Kettle. What pissed me off royal today is our assistant pastor. We went to him for counsel after Zack's collapse. He actually said we are being used for our money. That Zack is partying on our dime. That we should make him take the bus to counseling rather than driving him. That we are showering him with luxuries. I'm not sure what planet this guy is from, but new underwear from Walmart and used jeans from the thrift store aren't luxuries in my book. This is the problem with priests who only study philosophy. [/quote] The poor kid watched his mother die! I say he definitely deserves new underwear from walmart! Not to mention, how supported will he feel if he is made to take the bus to counseling? From his perspective, I'm guessing that would say something like, "Hey, we don't even actually have time to care about your emotional/psychological well-being.Good luck!" I'd have probably freaked on the priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1330580694' post='2394868'] The poor kid watched his mother die! I say he definitely deserves new underwear from walmart! Not to mention, how supported will he feel if he is made to take the bus to counseling? From his perspective, I'm guessing that would say something like, "Hey, we don't even actually have time to care about your emotional/psychological well-being.Good luck!" I'd have probably freaked on the priest. [/quote] Yeah you're a good catholic. I seriously would have called him an insensitive idiot and then wouldn't regret it for at least a good day or two. I mean what is this world coming to when even the priests can be counted on to sympathize with a suffering teen? Good news is he seemed to be doing a bit better. Is there any way you guys can get those meds earlier than weeks? Like on an emergency basis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 We're hoping the emergency appointment today with his social worker will speed if up. We could have tried the emergency room but he was adamant that he wasn't going to sit there for four hours. His GP was willing to write prescriptions, but not the first one. He wanted a diagnosis first and I can't blame him. This priest has been ordained for 20 years but only a parish priest for two. He taught before at St. Thomas in Houston and St. Michaels in Toronto. Being dropped into an inner city poor parish has been a shock to his system. He had to go to anger treatment for several months after saying something do nasty to the head of the altar servers that he not only left the church he took a bunch of people with him. I suspect that the nun in question could be behind some of the rumors he's heard. If she tells people we have enough money to lavish luxuries on Zack, that excuses her routing his orphan benefits to his sisters. She even started talking about our new expensive car. It's a 2008 Dodge minivan. We had to have something large enough to carry my walker in the back. I guess in this neighborhood that is extravagance. Honestly I know we are doing the right thing because why else would the Devil make things so difficult? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) Praying for the SW appt... and I think your GP is right about wanting a diagosis first (even tho he & we probably know what it will be....) I'm also going to pray hard for Father and Sister. I've seen so many priests 'dumped' into parishes unprepared like this. It isn't fair to them, and it isn't fair to the parish. I've seen parishes RUINED by having guys like this appointed as pastors and/or pastoral associates just because the diocese in which they lived were short on experienced priests to serve in the front lines. They mean well, but academic preparation (while vital for priests, don't get me wrong) and one semester of clinical pastoral ed will NOT a trained counselor or wise priest make. It's not fair to the parish, and It also tends to set up the scenario for crises for the priests involved. So.... prayers for all of them... and perhaps a word to the wise to the bishop while you are having your meal? This guy needs some help, too. As far as Sister... ay yi yi yi yi. Holy Spirit... konk this woman on the side of thead. Prayers. and some appropriate penance directed her way.... Somebody needs a reality check. At least that is how I see it.... probably I am judging her too hard, but good grief. At the risk of sending you into a tailspin, Catherine (not philosophy and moral theology! NOOOOO!!!!....), the words "Distributive Justice" come to mind -- Sister's 'concerns' are a red herring.... a call for justice and healthy use of the world's goods does NOT mean everyone gets the same things. It means that some of us have a legitimate need for more.. and others for less... and that each of us must use the goods and gifts we are given in appropriate ways. Which you have been doing. Where is the problem here???? A 5 year old minivan (especially one needed to accommodate your disability) isn't exactly a Lear jet.... nor a chauffer-driven Mercedes, nor his and hers snowplows with racing stripes.... Stop, AnneLine, or you will get yourself into trouble and have a lot of explaining to do in the confession box! Now I will go do some housework (an appropriate penance!) and will keep on praying hard. Hang in there, Austin, Catherine and Zack! Blessed Lent, everyone! Edited March 1, 2012 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 I had a meeting at church tonight, and one of the ladies said that Father Mark had been spouting off to everyone. They are actually sending him away on Monday for awhile. We had over a dozen funerals in the 6 weeks after Christmas, and I guess he's in need of a break. I hope it is a long one. At the social worker today, he talked to her by himself for about 45 minutes then asked us to come in. He asked me if I thought he was beyond salvaging. I told him absolutely not. No child is. I told him we loved him unconditionally. That meant no matter what he did, we wouldn't stop loving him. We might get mad at him, but that's what parents do. I told him that if he went to jail or to a hospital, I would visit every day that I was allowed to, and that his apartment would be waiting on him when he came home. That he was precious and we loved him very much. He seems to be much calmer now. We are basically spending all our time with him. Taking everything a day at a time. I haven't slept much in the last couple of days and am looking forward to a nice long sleep tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 God willing it'll be a long break. You're a truly good person and glad the social worker appointment went well, or seemed to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Will keep on holding Fr. Mark in prayer - sounds like he needs someone to hold him the way you are holding Zack. Hope he gets the help he needs, too. The term you are looking for is 'bereavement overload' - all of you are stuck in it--it's just been way too much stuff for way too many weeks & months. Hard to keep the empathy going when it keeps getting depleated. Hope you ALL get a break from this stuff... My heart goes out to Zack and to you - and I am glad you were able to say that to him in words. Don't know if it is the custom in Canada and/or in your parish to pray over parents on Mother's/Father's Days or not, but this year when they pray over fathers and mothers, both of you have earned your stripes.. Catherine & Austin, hang in there one day at a time - and do some good stuff to take care of yourselves as well. I was serious about getting a manicure/pedicure.... or whatever would be your equivalent of pampering. Something that is fun and relaxing.. even for a short time will do a lot for you. I know you are hanging with Zack right now, but maybe the two of you could squeeze in a dinner for just the two of you or something? Time to celebrate how far you have come... even in the midst of all the sadness and complications.... Wow, you are my heroes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 My pampering is to sew. I made some urn palls yesterday. We are having more funerals with cremation than the other now. The funeral book says that ashes aren't to be given the same respect that an intact body is. My issue with that is that cremation is now allowed. We aren't allowed to scatter ashes because we are supposed to show the body respect. If we have to respect the ashes by burying them, I see no reason to not respect them at the funeral as well. I made one with the Catholic Women's League crest on it, and one with a simple gold cross for those who aren't a CWL member. I have enough fabric left to make one for the Knight's of Columbus as well. They just haven't given me their crest yet. White satin, gold trim and thread. Simple but reverent. I slept really well last night, so that of course makes everything better. The support I receive here makes all the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Catherine, all I can say is, Evil Spirits, take THAT!!!!!! Great pampering, great theology.... great woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1330705154' post='2395325'] My pampering is to sew. I made some urn palls yesterday. We are having more funerals with cremation than the other now. The funeral book says that ashes aren't to be given the same respect that an intact body is. My issue with that is that cremation is now allowed. We aren't allowed to scatter ashes because we are supposed to show the body respect. If we have to respect the ashes by burying them, I see no reason to not respect them at the funeral as well. I made one with the Catholic Women's League crest on it, and one with a simple gold cross for those who aren't a CWL member. I have enough fabric left to make one for the Knight's of Columbus as well. They just haven't given me their crest yet. White satin, gold trim and thread. Simple but reverent. I slept really well last night, so that of course makes everything better. The support I receive here makes all the difference. [/quote] Sounds like a good plan to me. Also, cremation is many many thousands of dollars cheaper than buying an insanely overpriced box/cemetary lot to be buried in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1330705154' post='2395325'] My pampering is to sew. I made some urn palls yesterday. We are having more funerals with cremation than the other now. The funeral book says that ashes aren't to be given the same respect that an intact body is. My issue with that is that cremation is now allowed. We aren't allowed to scatter ashes because we are supposed to show the body respect. If we have to respect the ashes by burying them, I see no reason to not respect them at the funeral as well. I made one with the Catholic Women's League crest on it, and one with a simple gold cross for those who aren't a CWL member. I have enough fabric left to make one for the Knight's of Columbus as well. They just haven't given me their crest yet. White satin, gold trim and thread. Simple but reverent. I slept really well last night, so that of course makes everything better. The support I receive here makes all the difference. [/quote] Hope this helps - I believe this is the K of C logo.... Any Knights, feel free to correct me and/or add images.... Sorry it is so big - PhatMass editor keeps making it HUGE! [img]http://www.stannes-parish.org/images/catholic_fellowship/knights_of_columbus.gif[/img] Edited March 2, 2012 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now