Sarah147 Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Or become friends with some holy people and friends with their friends/relatives, etc. until you come across somebody.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Catholicsingles.com - I think this is the one on the back of our parish bulletins... never used it or known anyone who did, but like anything else you can set up a profile for free and see what you think. Catholicmatch.com - The only one I have personal experience using. I know at least three couples who met on this site: one married, one engaged, and my girlfriend and I Probably the most popular Catholic dating site, famous for the 7 faith questions that you answer as part of your profile on things like premarital sex, contraception, and Papal Infallibility. A lot of people are only 5- or 6-out-of-7 (you can fiddler them out) and you'll find some nominal Catholics who probably don't know the Church teaching on these things (i.e. some priests teach premarital sex is okay if you're "in love"), so in some cases you might take those 7 answers with a grain of salt. Overall it's good and you can usually tell from other parts of a profile how a person's beliefs line up with the Church (otherwise, you can always ask and talk about it). You can set up a free profile and check it out... I found $60 for 3 months to be the best money I ever spent... and you can auto-renew for only $40/3 months. They'll likely email a lower offer, so you can always wait for that too. AveMariaSingles.com - No personal experience, but I know a couple who's been dating about six months that met there. Based on their word and the impression I get from the site, you won't find many lapsed or nominal Catholics here (that doesn't preclude the fact that plenty of practicing, orthodox Catholics are jerks). So if that's your thing, check it out... there are lots of faithful Catholics on other sites who may not be on this one, so it's worth checking out multiple venues. Plus, a lot of people show up temporarily or come and go, so the longer you stick with it, the more opportunities you have to meet someone who just drops in. fwiw, those who want a free site can check out OKCupid.com. There seems to be a good number of people on there, the site is well designed, and profiles include a number of questions related to faith and morality, so you'll know up front where a person stands before you bother communicating. And lastly, online dating still carries this stigma as being the last chance for those who are getting desperate, etc. Yes, there are desperate people online, just like anywhere else. Think of it as one venue among many for possibly meeting someone (including friends... it's a great idea if you travel and want to meet people, dating or just as friends). Those of us who are out of college and settled into a career and whatever we do, we aren't in the kinds of social circles where you're meeting a many new people. So if you're on the fence, it makes sense to explore your options and take a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I believed that whole "must be desperate" stuff. It was actually Fr. Groeschel who recommended it to me. He was a talking in Orlando, and was hit by a car just days later. He said that I was to look around at Church next Sunday and try to identify how many single men there were my age. There were only two men there my age, the priest and a married father of six. I was told that there are faithful Catholics out there, but we are scattered. There would literally have been no way for my husband and I to have met in any other way, and we were truly meant for each other. No doubt in my mind. I just had to be open to the idea of going wherever God wanted me to be. I can't say I wish God had chosen a place somewhere warmer, but he gave me a wondrous gift, and I wasn't about to refuse the gift. I just bought some long johns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 That's so true, that once you get into a work routine, it's hard to meet people, especially the special people out there.... I would pray it would be someone connected with people I know, if marriage is my calling.... Just because I would feel better about that than online, and it'd be easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I did find one real advantage to online dating. We actually had to talk. If you are dating in person, you watch movies, or eat dinner. You have all the stress of trying to maintain a proper physical relationship. Online, you have to find things to talk about. You learn more about each other in many ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) If I met someone, I think I would mostly communciate via email or something, even if I knew them locally. I do better communicating through text. Edited January 2, 2012 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MargaretTeresa Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 the guy I'm sort of dating and I text a lot. While we met over a year ago when I did an internship at his place of work, we didn't really get to know each other until he started following me on Twitter back in late August/early September. So we tweeted back and forth a lot before we finally became Facebook friends and messaged that way. I wasn't until after he learned about an employee at my favourite "nerd store" hitting on me and asking for my number did he ask for my number. I think that's one thing I've noticed about social media - people connect a lot more easily. Like, seriously. I'm more likely to write better voice my thoughts via text anyway. Also, the social media/texting/e-mail thing is especially great for people dating who live in different towns like he and I do. We live an hour-fifteen apart and it's even further since I'm at home for the Christmas holiday. We are all the time blowing up Twitter/Facebook/phones. Well, when we are awake at the same time. His work schedule is very different than my class schedule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roamin Catholic Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1324514921' post='2355528'] phatmass.com/phorum [/quote] Never heard of it before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1325179316' post='2359368'] Just wanted to add that I contacted ava maria as a first try, just to see what they say, and told them about my disabilities and low income, and they gave me a promo code for a reduced join fee. So, good news for you Mater! I imagine CatholicMatch would, too. I'm NOT joining any site right now as I'm discerning two orders. But if I discern marriage in the future, I'll be ready to go... [/quote] I decided not to do the Ave Maria Singles. Even after the promo code, it's still $79, which I just don't have right now. I wish, though, that there was a way for me to hide looking at other people's profiles on CatholicMatch.com. I am hesitant to post my picture, too. I'm just not good at this online dating stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I agree. I don't like the thought of putting a picture of myself up either. Another reason I would hope to meet someone through a friend. But I'm not closed off to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1325499308' post='2361588'] I decided not to do the Ave Maria Singles. Even after the promo code, it's still $79, which I just don't have right now. I wish, though, that there was a way for me to hide looking at other people's profiles on CatholicMatch.com. I am hesitant to post my picture, too. I'm just not good at this online dating stuff. [/quote] Since you're uncomfortable with it, and right now you are making a lot of changes to your life there are still a lot of opportunities that you will be meeting new people. Maybe wait a while before doing more with the online dating thing and try to get the rest sorted out first and see if anything comes up with that? It would be different if you had worked at the same job for a few years and were not going to be meeting new people, or at least not very many new people, soon, but that may not be the case for you. Just a thought. It's not exactly going to be easy to find someone online, anyway, if you're super uncomfortable with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 (edited) [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1325467912' post='2361405'] I would pray it would be someone connected with people I know, if marriage is my calling.... Just because I would feel better about that than online, and it'd be easier. [/quote] It's a small world... especially if you're seeking a like-minded Catholic. For example, my girlfriend went to WYD with a Dominican parish whose pastor used to be at my parish. You might end up meeting someone with mutual friends, but simply wouldn't have met otherwise. Another good point that I learned from LittleRedRails is that openly sharing with friends that you're dating online and sharing your experiences (they're usually good stories, good or bed is that some of your friends will start matching you up with their friends. It's not unlike networking for a job... put yourself out there, talk about it, and let your friends help you out. Another important piece of advice unique to the online dating world: guys who try online dating need to ask for the date in the first or second message with a girl (at least by phone, if she's too far away to visit); girls should expect guys to ask by the second message. The web site is merely a tool to connect the two of you. Once the connection is made, it's important to progress soon to an actual date, phone/webcam calls, even letter writing. Emailing is great for sharing information (i.e. I want to date you); it doesn't build up relationships. [url="http://www.littleredrails.com/blog/"]LittleRedRails.com[/url] is an excellent guide to online dating written by a tech geek with no life turned ladies man who had to cancel seven dates when he met his future wife. Consider it secular advice, though I don't think any of it contradicts Church teaching (he recommends sites that cater to religious beliefs). If you're determined to discern a possible vocation to marriage, I recommend online dating and his guide as two tools to throw in your bag. [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1325468894' post='2361413'] I did find one real advantage to online dating. We actually had to talk. If you are dating in person, you watch movies, or eat dinner. You have all the stress of trying to maintain a proper physical relationship. Online, you have to find things to talk about. You learn more about each other in many ways. [/quote] Definitely true of long-distance dating, however to build an actual relationship a couple needs to have time in the same physical space, or at least talk on the phone, webcam, etc. Emails and texts serve a practical purpose in some instances. They cannot serve as a primary method of communication... just putting that out there since it's such a common mistake (not saying you've made it, simply cautioning against that trap). [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1325469021' post='2361419'] If I met someone, I think I would mostly communciate via email or something, even if I knew them locally. I do better communicating through text. [/quote] Pardon being so direct, but it's impossible to communicate better by text. It's a tool that proves helpful in some situations, but it's doesn't build relationships. It's not even good writing. Growing in holiness and listening to God's voice requires that we grow in real relationship, so if your verbal/written skills are lacking, work to improve them. You'll need them. Edited January 2, 2012 by LouisvilleFan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My wife and I met on CatholicMatch.com, and were married on July 16, 2011 (The Feast of OL Mt. Carmel). I also liked Ave Maria Singles for a lot of the same reasons that Catherine mentioned, but no fruit came of it for me. [img]http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/306475_10100336754298710_22905301_51419197_175595157_n.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 I am glad this thread was created since I am opening up my mind to marriage more than ever. I know my name is Future Sister but that's debatable right now. I'm glad I didn't go right to the Convent like I wanted to because I'm not sure like I had thought. Is there any age restrictions on these sites or would it be bizarre for a 20 year old to have a profile? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 LouisvilleFan, wow! Lots to think about! I've never done the whole webcam thing and rarely the phone, and I've never dated, so it's all so new! I'm still waiting to hear back from RSM order, but if the orders discern I'm not called, I'm not sure what I would do next. I've been trying to work on socializing in general and making female friends, getting more active, being more happy on my own. I'm also thinking about what kind of what I could manage that I'd be good at, that could support me, and I'd be happy with. Trade schools sound good, but I'm still not sure. Any thoughts appreciated from y'all if you have advice on jobs with training under a year or so with flexable training. It makes me feel rushed what you say about asking out on the first or second message! I need lots of time getting to know anyone and being friends before getting to consider courting someday. It took me tons of talking with a phatmasser to get serious about the SSEW order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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