Urgent - For My Studies

[beatitude]

I have two major essays that are due in very soon. I haven't even started the writing, and I ought to be getting close to finishing. I seem to have some sort of mental block about them.

During my undergraduate years I suffered from quite a serious illness that affected my cognitive ability. I got through my degree all right, but it was with a lot of stress and difficulty and I only narrowly avoided having to take a year out. I passed well, but not with the grades I could have had, and promptly collapsed. It took me over two years to regain my health, and now I find that I am scared of any extended writing - anything that reminds me of how tired and shaky I was then. Back then every sentence had to be scraped out of my skull with a spoon, or so it felt. Now whenever I look at a blank screen I feel the same paralysis as I felt at that time.

I hope to go on to further study, possibly even a PhD. For that I need seriously high grades. I know I'm capable of it. I could never have been accepted onto this MA program if I didn't have the ability, and the doctor said it was extraordinary that I managed to take my exams for my BA when most people would have been in hospital by that point. I just have to get over the fear. These are the first essays I've had to write since coming back to academia, so they are my baptism by fire. I think once they're over I'll be OK.