Away Games: Praying Before Meals

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1323790765' post='2350374']I think it really depends on knowing the host family. Do they know your family is Catholic? Are they Christian? Religious? Anti-Religious? How well do you know them? Are you trying to set an example for smaller kids in the family, or is everyone older? If it were me and part of the issue was teaching kids to pray before meals, I'd probably ask my host if it'd be alright if my family said a quick prayer before we ate, and then smile and pass the potatoes to them after. I can't imagine many people objecting. Even better, if you can get your host aside before everyone sits down and ask. But if everyone in my family was a bit older, I'd privately tell them to make sure they silently pray over their meal, unless I knew the family we were with was a "praying" kind, and just didn't always pray before meals.[/quote]

i'm certainly not going to ask someone's permission before I pray with my kids. i'll take the hosts aside and tell them (if i think it's going to be an issue), but I'm certainly not going to ask permission. and, i don't think you should have a different set of rules if your kids are older just because you're afraid someone will be offended.

[DMcB]

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses...not much time to give a proper reply at the moment, but I will chime in at some point this afternoon.

[Basilisa Marie]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1323793122' post='2350387']

i'm certainly not going to ask someone's permission before I pray with my kids. i'll take the hosts aside and tell them (if i think it's going to be an issue), but I'm certainly not going to ask permission. and, i don't think you should have a different set of rules if your kids are older just because you're afraid someone will be offended.
[/quote]

Then don't. I just think it's the polite thing to do, depending on the situation. It was my understanding that DMcB was asking how to deal with the awkwardness of one family praying when another doesn't, but I might be reading things into the original post that aren't there.

[i<3franciscans]

I just pray silently.

[Papist]

[quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1323797707' post='2350426']

Then don't. I just think it's the polite thing to do, depending on the situation. It was my understanding that DMcB was asking how to deal with the awkwardness of one family praying when another doesn't, but I might be reading things into the original post that aren't there.
[/quote]
However when asking, you need to be prepared for a response in the negative. That's is why I would only ask if they were close friends, and quietly say blessing[including my children] if not. I have been in this situation before more than once, and have done both. My biggest fear is that they will want to hold hands during the blessing.

I have done this once before, to invite the non-blessing people to my house for dinner. And at that dinner I say the below meal blessing I got from the Magnificat many years ago.

Dear Lord, we thank you for your countless blessings, especially for the gift of Your Son, the Church, our faith and now this meal.
We ask You to bless this meal and the love that unites us.
Please keep us forever grateful and generous in Your service.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. AMEN.

[Lil Red]

Papist, as you said, sometimes it's nice having small children, because they just pipe up, "But we have to pray!!"

[BigJon16]

When I eat lunch at school, I sit with quite a gaggle filled with agnostics, fellow Catholics, and a few Protestants.

I always just cross myself and say my own prayer silently.

The first couple of times, I could feel their eyes digging holes in me, but now, I'm not sure if they even notice anymore. Its kinda become my thing, I guess. As long as I remember to do it. I usually forget, a lot.



Not that that has anything to do with the current conversation...

[Ice_nine]

I never say grace before meals. Oops. I should probably start doing that

[MIKolbe]

agreed.

[Papist]

Should also say prayer after meal.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1323816757' post='2350661']
Should also say prayer after meal.
[/quote]
we always forget that but i never did it in my family growing up, so i always forget.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1323818786' post='2350686']
we always forget that but i never did it in my family growing up, so i always forget.
[/quote]

We did it in the convent too, but I still often forget.

[DMcB]

Again, thanks for all the thoughtful responses.

At the heart of the matter, for me at least, is balancing a healthy respect for all parries involved; and ultimately, still showing gratitude to Our Lord. So the more I think about it, I can see myself inviting the host family to pray with us. Should they decline, I would simply lead my family in a brief prayer said out loud and be done with it. I'd have no expectations for their behavior while we prayed: they could be eating or talking, and either way, I wouldn't be offended. If we were asked to leave, well then, I guess we'd leave and never put ourselves in that situation again; and, for my piece, anything short of violence wouldn't end the friendship. (But I don't think that would happen with the group of friends that I had in mind when posing this question.)

At this point in my life, I'm just not concerned with anything other than being the best possible leader for my family...now here's where the question gets real good - when I consider my response to a non-Christian family praying at my table. To be honest, I am not sure what I would do, or what the Church would have me do...my suspicion is that the Church would have me respectfully abstain from joining the prayer; and I suspect that is how I would handle the situation. I'm not much of a hot head, so the thought doesn't get my blood boiling.

Edited December 14, 2011 by DMcB

[dUSt]

It would depend on the family. If I knew they were Catholic or Christian, I would probably ask them to join in on grace, and I doubt anyone would be offended. If it was a family I didn't know that well, I would probably wouldn't at their house eating dinner with them.

[dUSt]

One thing I always do though if I am eating with non-Catholics is to say grace silently to myself, make the sign of the cross, and then extend my hand out over my food in a claw formation and pretend I'm doing some type of magical zapping blessing as if I were an over-dramatic magician. I love the awkwardness that ensues.